Bella, The Fate Tamperer
by Blooming on a Snow
Summary: The first time I met Edtard Cunnen (who gets angry when I call him that and corrects me by saying his name is "Edward Cullen"), I fell in love. So like any other normal teenager, I climbed at my table at the school canteen and yelled at the top of my lungs, "I LOVE YOU EDTARD CUNNEN!" And since then, I've been chasing after him.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hi everyone!

So I have this plot bunny and I've been working on this fic whenever The Revelations of an Innocent Mind gets too depressing. You know how serious that one was.

Amidst the serious business of publishing my first work, I think it would be great if you can taste something different from my usual cup of tea.

This is High School set-up, and I'm writing it for fun.

I've marked it as Romance/Humor because basically that's what we'll be reading: Romance and Humor (okay, Trisha, stop being repetitive). And Rated M for language and eventual Lemons.

Also, this is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.

It would be great to know you're laughing and enjoying this one. There's a review box below where I could know your thoughts and we could converse about … stuff.

However, if you don't want me to continue with this one, or you think this is a fucking waste of time … well … tell me. *winks*

Toodles. ^^

Blooming on a Snow

(Random thought: If I'm not from the US, and it's 9AM on Monday here while it's 9PM on Sunday there, and we talk through the phone, then you're talking to tomorrow and I'm talking to yesterday … Does that make sense?).

* * *

 **Summary:** The first time I met Edtard Cunnen (who gets angry when I call him that and corrects me by saying his name is "Edward Cullen"), I fell in love. So like any other normal teenager, I climbed at my table at the school canteen and yelled at the top of my lungs, "I LOVE YOU EDTARD CUNNEN!" And since then, I've been chasing after him.

* * *

 **BELLA, THE FATE TAMPERER**

 **Prologue**

"Mr. Fate" always has a way with people.

Sometimes he would put two very opposite people together and make them fall for each other.

Other times, he would make exaggerated circumstances which couples need to overcome to make their relationships stay stronger, say an occasional mistake of a husband by cheating on his wife with that bitch from his office.

If the husband and wife hadn't overcome it, then they wouldn't be as sweet and passionate now, because that bitch made pretty damn sure to raise the bar for the wife to make the wife try harder for her husband, and for the stupid husband to make more effort for his wife finally seeing how darn precious his wife is.

No, this was not based from experience. I was just merely stating things …

Anyway, so fate intervenes with people. Others couldn't rise above the challenges placed in front of them and would easily give up.

That's really sad when they break apart.

Fate is sometimes cruel that way.

But in fate's defense, if the love isn't strong enough, then the couples wouldn't overcome it. And sometimes, two people are just not meant for each other.

But we, meager people, always have choices.

And the days of fate were numbered. His power will finally be challenged, and his patience will be toyed.

Because fate has finally reached the Swan's household, and touched hands with the sleeping form of Bella Swan.

…

Isabella Marie Swan is not your typical girl. You might probably have heard someone claim that already, but no, I tell you, she _is_ different. She's not popular in school but she's famous, in that it would seem impossible for anyone not to know that crazy freak of a girl in their high school, because not anyone could pull off the stunts that she did. If there is a Guinness record for the most number of times a person has landed in detention, you'd probably find her name there … on bold letters … in a golden plate.

She's that girl that once came to school wearing a bride's wedding dress, and the very next day wore the groom's.

She's that girl that fired fireworks on graduation … during grade school … inside the gym … on the exact time of the ceremony.

She's that girl that interrupted the principal's speech on high school orientation because she was bored with its length and wants to grab lunch but was not allowed to go out the gym, and she announced all this on stage after snatching the principal's mic.

She's that girl that went berserk when it rained so hard she couldn't drive at the nearby drugstore to buy herself pads, never thinking instead of asking her girl classmates if they have any, before freaking out on the parking lot and getting herself wet.

Yeah, she's that girl. An anomaly who has no shy-bones in her body and no grasp how an average teenage girl should act.

But don't get me wrong. Bella, by nature, is a sweet girl.

She has two best friends, who have loyal boyfriends, and she makes sure that she never forgets special events for them like birthdays, or their anniversaries … heck, even their parents' birthdays and anniversaries.

Once she decided she loves a person, that person will be cherished for the rest of his or her life.

She has a loving parents who dote on her and allows her to be whoever she wanted to be.

Her mother, Renee, is a little spastic by nature who freaks out easily, but just as fast could regain her composure, and then would forget what made her freak out in the first place.

Her father, Charlie, adores her mother wholeheartedly, and though he is the Chief of Police of Forks, Washington, could easily turn to jelly when her beloved daughter wanted something from him.

This couple was once tried by fate when Renee had a miscarriage before giving birth to Bella. And so, fate made them stronger by loving their only daughter with all that they can. And Bella, in return, could not think of any two better parents for her.

When she was eight and wanted to color her clothes instead of the boring drawing in her textbook, Renee was summoned by Bella's principal. But instead of scolding Bella, she only told her to color her clothes at home instead so that no nosy principal would try to interfere with her life.

When she was twelve and her classmates started making fun of her wearing her pajamas going to school (she loved those damn cute little pink pigs design to hell), his father showed up and tried to scare the pestering kids.

They didn't want Bella to change just because society thinks people are supposed to act and do things in a certain way and from a standard. And as appreciation of Bella's love for them and gratefulness at their ever-present support, she spends her Sundays only for her parents, and no best friend or their boyfriends can interfere with that.

Except, of course, if it is a birthday or an anniversary.

So overall, Bella is a happy-go-lucky, unique kind of teenager, doing whatever she wants and not caring about whatever the judgmental folks would think of her.

And what better way for fate to teach Bella her lesson by making her fall for Edward Cullen?

Who is he, you ask? Let Bella tell you herself.


	2. Chapter 1: How I Met My Edtard

**CHAPTER 1: HOW I MET MY EDTARD**

 **BPOV**

I was seated in the school canteen with my two gorgeous best friends, Rosalie and Alice, and their handsome boyfriends, Emmett and Jasper.

I love these people to death.

"Bella, stop drooling over that spaghetti," Emmett told me which made me check if I was truly drooling.

"I'm not drooling, you fool!" I then exclaimed, irked by him making fun of me. My two ugly best friends and their two Shrek boyfriends then started laughing at me.

I hate these people to death.

"Wait, have you heard?" Alice then said in a kind of secretive and dramatic voice. I hated it when she speaks that way. She was so damn cute. "Edward Cullen, the new student of Forks, arrived today."

"Yeah," Rosalie interjected with a dreamy expression. "I saw his car the other day and it's a cool car for someone in high school. And I got a glimpse of him as well when I was going to my history class this morning. He's a piece of meat."

I wonder how his Shrek of a boyfriend would take that – her finding someone else "a piece of meat".

However, the Shrek boyfriend only smiled at this with his two annoying dimples showing. I was not surprised though. His mind works like Pentium 1.

"I heard he's good in baseball. Gotta' need to recruit him."

Yuck. Sports.

Jasper added to the hype by saying "I also heard he's a genius. Photographic memory or some shit. 'Gotta need to watch my competition."

Of course, he'd say that. Everyone knows Jasper was vying for Valedictorian, and if this Ed—Edtard? Was really as good as they say, then Jasper's gotta need to cram more than he already does.

And by the way: who names their kid Edtard? Some retard, that's who. Imagine going to school and having your graduation and your name is called 'Edtard Cunnen!', and you'd cry and curse your life because of your miserable name and you won't get accepted to work because they won't take you seriously and …

"W-w-wait. Why am I the only one who doesn't know this Edtard?"

All my friends eyed me with their amused smiles.

"What?" I demanded as they all chuckled.

At my confusion, Alice seemed to pity me and explained:

"Bella, no one expects you to know about him. We all know you space out on important conversations, much more 'idle adolescent gossip' – your words, not mine – so of course, you wouldn't know about him."

"But if everyone knows who he is, I'd look like a fool if I didn't."

The traitors only sniggered.

"I hate you Alice. I hope your big boobs will pop out when you wake up tomorrow," I grumbled my annoyance at her. However, she was unfazed with what I've said.

"Why thank you, Bella. I know that they're big and Jasper loves them so you don't need to spell it out for me."

And, as though to prove her point, she jingled said boobs while Jasper-the-perv's eyes were glued to them like they're candy on Christmas … which they probably were to him.

"Everest and Krakatoa," he then mumbled, with the dreamiest expression on his face.

Wait, did he just name her boobs after the mountains using his nerdy brains? Eww. I might have gagged a little in my mouth.

Then …

"Bella! Spiders!" Emmett suddenly shouted at me.

When I've registered what he had said, I screeched, jumped, stood, and …

"Bella, stop that! Emmett was only kidding!" Rosalie shouted at me, while she eyed me with a horrified expression on her face as I stood on my chair.

The stupid Emmett and word-vomit Jasper then laughed in chorus.

"But Rosie, I don't like spiders! They'll eat my feet!" I exclaimed in fright, flailing at the chair. No one in the canteen were paying me any attention. They were already used to these types of scenes.

"Come down here! You might fall!"

My other stupid friends/fiends were laughing hard, clutching their stomachs as they watch me.

"But Shrek-your-ugly-boyfriend just said there were spiders and I'd die when I see them and I…"

And that's when I saw him.

Edtard Cunnen.

I forgot at once what made me stood on my chair.

Whoever named him Edtard was clearly out of his mind because this Edtard was no retard.

He was the best-looking guy I've ever seen.

Reddish brown hair, tousled as though he ran his hands on them on a daily basis, green melting eyes, chiseled jaw, soft-looking lips, and to top it all off, he was tall and lanky but still well-built.

But these were not what caught my attention.

It was his smile.

His smile that could melt panties of a bunch of hormonal teenage girls, myself included.

It was crooked, and he looked like a superstar or something.

And then …

I saw him having the most lethal weapon of all …

For he …

… Was wearing a T-shirt with Ed Sheeran's face printed at the front.

And that's when I knew I was in love.

"That's him," I mumbled, still in a daze.

"Yes. That's him," Rosalie supplied for me.

And then, Edtard looked my way. And when our eyes met, there was no stopping me.

I climbed to the table, made sure everyone at the canteen was listening, and yelled at the top of my lungs, "I LOVE YOU EDTARD CUNNEN!"

And the shock on his face was something I will never forget.

* * *

I don't get why I was sent to detention after what I yelled at lunch.

Okay, I get that because of my "loud" proclamation of love, I fell from the chair, landed on one of the canteen staff, knocked all the sloppy joes he was carrying which fell to the ground, and I broke the chair. But still, if that sourpuss Mr. Banner didn't pass by, I could have bribed the canteen staff to keep quiet.

When I entered the detention room, I got to my usual routine and handed the detention lady her meal (bribing is my favorite form of getting out of messy situations). However, I still got time to go to my biology class.

Therefore, I went to Biology not because I wanted to learn, but for the sheer joy of seeing sourpuss Banner takes a second when he realized that I easily got out of detention.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Edtard there sitting at the front.

"Edtard, you're here!" I gushed, making the entire class shift their eyes on me, and halting sourpuss Banner's droning lesson.

But I didn't care.

My eyes were only for my love.

"Miss Swan, unhappy to see you back so fast," sourpuss Banner said with the stinky eye.

I shot him my happy smirk.

"Same goes to you, sourpuss."

"What did you just call me?"

He was so angry at me that I was momentarily afraid he would break a vessel or two in his head.

"Nothing, sir. I suggest you find a dictionary."

He then grumbled, but told me to go to my chair.

But, hell no, I wasn't going there - not after I saw the love of my life seated at the front row on the left.

As I shifted my eyes at him, I saw that he already has a neighbor. However, I was not one to be intimidated.

So, fueled with my determination to sit beside my love, I crossed the room to stand directly in front of them. I then immediately noticed that same shocked/scared look of my Edtard, which he showed to me when I professed at him my love at lunch.

"Hey," I called out to the girl beside him, who gulped upon seeing me. _Too easy._

"What would it take for you to exchange seats with me?"

The girl straightened her glasses, sat straighter in her seat, before she answered me, "What do you mean?"

"I want your seat. And I wanted to know what you want in exchange for that seat. Ten bucks? Twenty? Or maybe I could ask my dad to let you off the hook of those speeding tickets?"

I didn't know if she had speeding tickets, but I also love to gamble.

She then glanced furtively at my love, who was trying his best not to pay us any attention, before she started picking up her things, readying to leave.

"No need for exchange. I'll sit on your seat."

I jumped in joy.

"Wow, thank you! What's your name?"

At my question, she turned her head at me, throwing me a look as though I was stupid.

"I'm Angela. I'm in almost your every class."

 _Gee. Sensitive much?_

She then walked towards her new seat, occupying the empty one a few rows behind ours, as I happily took her previous seat while setting my bag on the floor.

Then Sourpuss stopped with what he was saying to ask me in a stern tone, "Are we finished with your interruption, Miss Swan?"

"Go on, sir, I'm happily seated now," was my smart-ass replied.

Sourpuss rolled his eyes at me before he droned on again about the lame subject he was teaching. I took that opportunity to turn my head to my love who was trying his best to listen to the sourpuss.

"Psst," I tried to catch his attention but he didn't budge.

So, I tried again.

"Psst, Edtard," I whispered.

He finally glared at me as he said, "It's _Edward_."

I was slightly irritated with his reaction towards me, but I was still a little happy that I caught his attention.

"Okay, I get that you don't like your name so you have to come up with a better name because you hated the name your parents gave you, but there's no need to be hostile towards me. After all, I'll have your future babies and I didn't give you your name."

He seemed shocked at my speech – his eyes grew a fraction – before he looked back at the front.

"You're crazy."

 _As if I hadn't heard that before._

"Psst." I tried again. And again, he turned his head at me in irritation.

"What?"

"You want to ask me out?"

A look of incredulity crossed his features.

"Are you really that crazy? You want me to want to ask you out?"

 _Is that what I meant?_

"Yep. Ask me out. On a date."

He only rolled his eyes at me, but it was enough for me to launch my greatest plan.

"Okay. It's a date then. Meet me at eight on La Bella Italia on Friday. That restaurant has my name on it – I'm Bella, Bella Swan – so when you tell our future kids about our first date, it would sound like you planned everything."

He didn't answer me save for a huff.

 _So it was gonna be like that huh? He was gonna play hard to get. Gee, talk about trying to pull teeth just_ _to engage him in conversation._

But if I was being honest, before I never understood what the pull was with guys chasing after girls, but now, after meeting him, I finally do. It is exciting. You never know what he's answer is gonna be like. And it makes the ride more worthwhile.

For the next hour, all I did was try to coax Edtard Cunnen into a conversation with me. But he wouldn't budge, and he only pretended that I don't exist. Sourpuss reprimanded me at least four times with his stinky eyes and Ed _ward_ seemed to really hate me for it, rolling his eyes at me. But it was fine – I still love him. And I don't easily give up.

And I say this to him right after the bell had ringed.

"Edtard, I don't give up on what I want. I'll have you, eventually, so I tell you now to stop wasting your time by trying to resist me."

My declaration was returned with a scowl as he corrected me, saying, "It's _Edward_."

He then walked out of the room.

* * *

Gym was a sore. My trick with Coach Clapp didn't work again – that I have dysmenorrhea and couldn't play volleyball – because apparently, I couldn't have dysmenorrhea for five straight days.

Therefore, I made use of the entire time by pretending to play with my team. As I stood at the back of the girls, my thoughts were about coming up with my next excuse for the no-brainer subject, and of course, I was already planning Edward and I's future wedding.

 _Bella Cullen has a nice ring to it_ , I realized, making me smile.

However, my inattention has bit me at my ass, for suddenly, it attracted the ball to my face. The ball kissed my cheek with a hard slam and it left a memorable pink dent.

Needless to say, I detest P.E. with every fiber of my being.

After the P.E. scene, I was changing in my locker, and my mood lifted up a little when I heard the voice of my Ed _w_ ard right outside the locker room. With this happy thought, I was bouncing as I made my way to him.

However, right before I came into his view, I suddenly caught sight of him talking to someone else. And because I am nosy, I eavesdropped into the conversation.

"… Math because I heard you were really good at it – well, that's what my friend, Lauren, has said anyway."

 _Say what now? Math?_

I sneaked a peek at them and saw the unmistakable voluptuous figure of the girl. When I finally had a full view of them, my eyes grew ten times than the usual size because I realized I knew who the girl was.

"I've only been here a day so I'm not really sure if I could help you at all. But thank you for thinking so highly of me," my Edward was saying to her.

 _Gah. She was asking him to tutor her. I have to intervene._

"No problem, but you know, I could really use the Math help. I usually get what Mr. Berty says and it's really not that hard to catch up with Algebra, but I do have trouble with Basic Calculus. I have it as my advanced subject, and my mind just goes off when Mr. Greenfield talks about limits."

That was my limit. Right there. That flirty, innocent voice.

Fueled with my irritation, I appeared before my Edward would say anything else, plastering my hugest fake smile.

"Tanya! I didn't expect to see you speaking to _my_ man his first day. You're having trouble with limits in Calc? Maybe I could help instead."

Tanya looked shocked for a moment but instantly regained her composure. My Edward, on the other hand, glared at me as he says, "What are you talking about? And what are you doing here?"

I rolled my eyes. My love can be dense at times, but I love him so I let it slip.

"Riding a motorcycle," was my smart answer.

He looked at me like I've grown wings. I huffed in a little indignation.

"Of course I'm here because I'm fighting for you. Haven't you been listening to my declaration in canteen? I love you, and as such, I can't let blondie big butt here snatch you away from me."

To his credit, Edward only scowled, seeming a bit resigned to his fate with me.

Right then, Blondie big butt suddenly laughed, trying too hard to make it sound like bell chimes … which, admittedly, though it hurt my pride, her voice did sound like bell chimes.

"Swan, you're as fun as ever. I never expected to have this – I never thought I'd ever have to fight with you on anything."

 _Was there an insult there somewhere that I didn't hear?_

 _Why can't she just be a normal bimbo? Why does she have to have brains?_

Edward then cleared his throat, unamused at my antics.

"Bella, I really don't know what's your deal with me is, but I'm going to give you an out – let's just pretend you didn't say any of those things in canteen, and let's start over again, as normal classmates.

And Tanya," he shifted his eyes to the blonde with the brains who I hate, "I'm really sorry but I don't think I can help you with Basic Calc. I have other stuff to attend to after school, and besides, you seem capable enough to handle the subject yourself. Bella here is offering, so I think it'll be best to just ask her."

And with that, he left the two of us, walking away while running his hand through his hair.

I might have looked far too long on the way his jeans hugged his ass.

"God he looks so good. If I wasn't a girl I'd say I want to tap that."

Believe it or not, that wasn't me. It was the girl beside me. And with her statement, I officially declared her as my nemesis.

"So Tanya," I looked at her with steady gaze, sizing up my opponent. She looked at me with poise and a smirk.

"You're my competition for my Edward, it seems."

"Seems that way," she agreed with a confident smile. I've never hated her more than I hated her at that moment.

"I'm just saying you might want to back out as early as now. I've been known to never give up."

She casted me a look from my head to my toe, making me want to arch my back so that my average boobs will pop out.

"We'll see."

Then, as a universal sign of any fair, level-headed fight, she held out her hand to me.

"I guess may the best girl win, Bella Swan."

Accepting the challenge she was offering – for I know I will eventually win – I smirked at her in my most intimidating look.

"That's about right, Tanya Denali."

And so I shook her hand and sealed my competition with Forks High's most popular girl.

* * *

When I got home, I heard my mom doing God knows what in our kitchen. But no one can blame me for doubting that she's merely trying to cook something – the last time she was there, the woman toasted our oven, and the remains of that brutal scenario was still visible on our black-smeared wall where said oven found its doom.

"Mom, I'm here!" I yelled as I kicked my boots and traded them for a pair of more comfortable house shoes.

"Oh, honey, I'm in the kitchen!" My scatter-brained mother yelled, as if I couldn't have guessed that.

I threw my bag in our couch and tread my way to where I could hear her.

Once I got to the kitchen, I found her elbows-deep in flour, her apron smeared with the ingredients, and some of it could be traced on her face.

She gave me a big smile once she saw me.

"What's that mom?"

I dubiously eyed whatever she was creating, reading "disaster" written all over it.

"I was craving for cake – cheesecake."

"And you thought of creating it instead of buying one?"

"This cake will look nothing like the others. I'm gonna put a castle on it!"

 _Right._

Renee is a very imaginative cook – too imaginative, really, to the point where you can't imagine how something so lovely-looking could taste so unimaginable.

So, to humor her, I sat at one of the stools, letting her have her fun. Mom is like kid sometimes I swear I could lock her with the other kids in Charlie's Chocolate Factory and she'll be the first one to eat the grass there like the fat kid did … and she wouldn't concern herself with the other stuff there, just the grass.

After a few moments of watching her "try" to build her castle of cake, I broke the silence by saying, "Mom, I met someone today."

I tell almost everything to my mom. I get a kick out of her reactions to my stories.

"How hot is hot?" was her response.

She never disappoints.

"Like, hot, mom? Like hot as a lava hot. He's a new kid but I can't see him having trouble meeting the other kids. He's that good-looking. And he's smart too."

A look of concern crossed her features as she placed both her hands on my shoulders, forgetting that her hands were covered with flour. But that was fine. Dad does the laundry most of the time anyway.

"Honey, I love you so much. Please don't make the wrong decisions like most kids do."

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

"You said he was smart, right?"

"Yup."

"Oh, honey!" She hugged me then – her tears already threatening to spill. "I don't want my grandchildren to look like pairs of noodles! I don't want them with braces, and bad perms, and acnes!"

"What the hell mom? What are you talking about?"

Instantly, she scowled at me with a reprimanding look. "Language, young lady!" And just as instantly, her sweet tone came back. "I know I told you when you were six that you could have a boyfriend of your own choosing, and that you can love whoever you want, but honey, a nerd just won't do! I'd still love my grandchildren, and it's okay to fall for a nerd – just make sure my grandchildren look amazing. I don't hate nerds, they're great and easily amicable and they let me cheat off of them, but I want beautiful grandchildren to brag about, and maybe you have eye problems but honey …"

With her lengthy blabbering, I finally understood what she was troubled with – that she thought my Edward looks like the usual nerds. So, as any normal teenager, my response was:

"What the fuck, mom?! Edward is gorgeous, and he's hot! He's got great abs, and don't get me started on his ass, that fine piece of ass-man, and he has the most delicious face. He doesn't have acne problems, perms, huge glasses, or braces. He's fucking hot! And I might even lose _it_ to him, you know?"

Well, pretty normal as can be.

"Language, Isabella! I need to put soap on your mouth."

"What?! That's like too oughmmnn…"

Next thing I knew, the soap was already pushed inside my mouth, stopping my stream of profanities.

 _Gah! It tastes horrible!_

Just then, the front door could be heard squeaking open.

"Fuck! That's your father!" My responsible mother exclaimed.

Upon hearing her expletive, I immediately extricated the gag-inducing poison from my mouth and might have spit a few times on the floor before speaking.

"Mom! You cursed too!"

My mom was instantly aghast.

"B-but I'm your mother!"

"And because of that, you should have a better mouth!"

"Fuck, what am I gonna do?" She panicked, knocking the mixture of "cake" on the floor, and dropping another of the f-bombs.

"You did it again, and twice this time! You should also put soap in your mouth."

She turned her head at me, looking a little scared.

"Y-you think?"

Then she slipped, dragging me with her.

And that was how Charlie found the two of us: a tangled mess on the floor, covered with flour and some yellowish – egg? – stuff all over us, and our mouths occupied with the puke-inducing poisons of soaps.

My poor father scratched his head and shook his head saying, "I assume you two got into another fight?"

And as if we rehearsed it, we were synchronized as we hastily took out the soaps from our mouths and screamed, "She started it!" pointing at each other.

* * *

 **A/N:** PLEASE tell me if I'll continue with this or if I'm wasting your time. Thanks!


	3. Chapter 2: Meet the Cullens and Awakenin

**CHAPTER 2: MEET THE CULLENS and AWAKENING MY GIRLY BITS**

 **EPOV**

"Let me begin by saying that honey, this is a safe space."

Oh God, here we go.

"I want to let you know that your father and I are supportive of you whatever you wanted to be, or whatever you choose to be," mom says with that all-knowing look and with a smooth, soothing voice.

Just like every other time she does this.

"Honey, I think the more correct word would be 'who', not 'what'." Dad chimed in.

The evils.

"Right. Edward, honey, if you choose to like women, we're more than okay with that," mom said.

Then dad continued her thought.

"But son, if you feel that you have other … err, feelings for the same sex, we want to tell you that we're here for you and we support you."

 _What the hell?_

"Dad, mom, what are you two talking about? You think I'm gay?" I shouted in consternation.

Mom's expression turned more seriously.

"Edward, honey, you've always been a gentleman, that's true. However, at your age, you should be having crushes, or partying, or showing off your girlfriends.

You've got a great gene, really you do. And I knew you could be a heartbreaker.

But you're father and I are afraid that you're in the house too much. At your age, you should be keeping secrets from us. You never keep secrets from us."

"Mom! I am not gay! And, do you seriously want me to whore around, or get into drugs?"

"Son," Dad said in the same serious tone. I groaned loudly from my seat. "Your mother is just concerned that you are acting unlike most children your age. It's okay to have a little fun – mingle a little bit. But since you aren't doing any of those, we came up to the conclusion that you might be gay. And that's alright. Really."

Coming to a _conclusion_ , like they're already sure of it. What the fuck?

"Dad, I'm not gay!"

"It's okay honey. You don't have to deny it to yourself." Mom coerced.

And with that, I exploded.

"Mom, dad, I. AM. NOT. GAY! And I'm keeping secrets. Really. I like girls. I like boobs. I like pussies …"

"Language, young man!" Mom instantly reprimanded, but I kept going.

"… I have a secret stash of porn magazines under my closet's floor – I made a secret floor there. And I have porn videos in my computer, which can only be opened by passwords. And I'm sorry if I don't whore around, or party all the time, or get stoned, but I just find them all waste of time. I like my classical music. I like my piano. I like my books. And I like keeping to myself."

"Oh, honey, if you have videos of both men doing it …"

"Jesus, mom! I'm not gay! And I …" I gritted my teeth of what I was about to say next, but I have no other choice: it had to be said. "I'm not a virgin anymore. I did it two years ago, on a pond. And get this – it was with a GIRL!"

"Really? With who?"

"Ugh! It was with Victoria, okay?"

My precious mom and dad looked at each other with wonder.

"Victoria? Our neighbor in Alaska, Victoria? She's two years older, right?"

Oh no. I didn't like where this is heading.

"Yep. Her."

"Oh honey, if she got you scared from sex and now you kept to yourself …"

"Mom, it wasn't like that! I was young, being stupid, wanted to get it over with, so I did it. We parted ways after that. It wasn't like I had a relationship. I just wanted to do it, alright? And just because I don't act like most stupid teenagers do, it doesn't mean I don't have my fair share of stupidities. I just don't want them all the time, like most stupid teens do."

"Now you're being very judgmental, son," my dad scolded me a little.

Ugh.

Fuck my life.

"But Victoria…" he continued, musing, and then whistled as if he was in pride and wonder.

That made me smile a little cockily.

"So, now that I've established I'm not gay, and that I've done it with a girl, can I just go now, please?" I pleaded, itching to leave the study room which starred one of my many horrors like this.

"But honey, are you at least careful? It was on a pond, so condoms couldn't have worked. Was she on the pill? Not that I'm opposed to having grandchildren now, but I hope I could have met the girl first …"

I groaned, briskly walking out of the torture room and hastily going up to my room, making sure that I locked my door.

Just a normal day to a life of one Edward Cullen.

Now, my parents weren't usually crazy – I know they were only concerned about me.

Growing up knowing that I am adopted has made them a little too protective of me, and my surroundings. And that is part of the reason why I don't mingle with my age group most of the time. _Everyone_ in our previous home knows that I am adopted.

At home, I was just the normal Edward – Esme and Carlisle's son. But outside, I was _the_ boy – the pitiful boy whose parents left him.

They don't know the whole story.

My biological mother, Elizabeth, conceived me by accident when she was still a teenager. Knowing she couldn't raise me on her own, because my wonderful father was just some stranger she met at some beach, she gave me up for adoption. Esme and Carlisle have been trying for a child for years but were having no luck. So when Elizabeth met Dr. Cullen at the hospital while she was in labor with me, it was like "fate" intervened, or so my mom – Elizabeth – says.

By the way, Carlisle didn't help give birth to me. He is a surgeon, not a gynecologist. Just saying …

Esme and Carlisle Cullen were generous enough to have Elizabeth know about my well-being. She visits me a lot of time, and we have no ill-will. I understood her choices. And she was right when she told me that I couldn't have had a better family than with Esme and Carlisle, and that she'd suck at being a mom at that time.

From then on, Esme and Carlisle raised me as their own to the best that they could. And I knew that I couldn't have two better parents than them …

Albeit being a little crazy.

And actually, it was kind of cool to have two mothers. Now that Elizabeth is a successful writer, I could have freebies of abundance of books.

Have heard of "The Silence that Kills the Night"? Yup. She wrote that one. They were making it to a movie now.

Elizabeth is currently married to an Italian painter named Stefan, and I have two half-brothers from them, Jacob and Seth, which is cool. They are two noisy rascals, but they sure make me laugh. I get to meet them at least twice a month. And I also get along with my mom's husband.

But this – me being conceived unplanned – was the huge reason why I don't do what most kids my age do. I don't want to have a huge, life-altering mistake of my own. As much as possible, I want to do things right. And if I'll have kids, I want them at the right time, at the right age, and with the right woman. That is why I'm a little picky on who to date

Victoria wasn't a mistake. Losing _it_ to her was planned.

And I made sure she was on pill, just like my thoughtful mother said.

And as far as I know, she still wasn't sporting a bump on her tummy. And if she was, it sure isn't gonna be mine, because it has been two years ago already.

Hitherto, the real reason why we moved to Forks on my last year of high school was because I "have to have the normal teenage life", or so my mom, Esme, says. They know that gossip in Alaska affects how my classmates treat me, so they want to stay at a new place where not everyone knows "everything" about us.

And it concerns them endlessly that I still act the same way as I had in Alaska.

"Edward, honey, there's someone looking for you!"

What? At this hour?

Oh God. It couldn't be … could it?

I stood from my bed and shouted at my door, "Who is it, mom?"

I heard my mom asking my visitor some questions, followed by a quiet response. Then afterwards, I heard her shout, "A lovely lady who promises to be your future wife!"

Oh no. I could even "hear" my mother's smile.

I groaned, before running my hands on my hair and my face.

"Honey! Don't keep the lovely lady waiting!"

I groaned again, opened my door, and then descended the stairs to face my fate.

Once I was in the living room, my immediate scowl was in place when I saw who it was.

"Hi my Edward!" my visitor happily greeted.

"Bella Swan," was my icy response.

I don't understand what the deal is with Bella Swan and her persistence over me.

Since this girl shouted that she "loves" me on that day at the canteen, she's been bugging me all the time.

She was just everywhere: at the gym where I try-out for baseball every four after class, cheering me on and having this huge son-of-a-gun banner of my name and my face, as though I'm playing for Nationals or some shit; every lunch period, accompanying me wherever I choose to seat, and whoever I choose to seat with; at biology, passing me notes endlessly; and, to my utter horror, this morning, filling up my locker with cupcakes that she baked, which tasted horrible, and were at least two dozen in count _– what the hell will I do with two dozens of cupcakes?_

And now this, going to my house at seven in the evening.

I couldn't believe this girl.

"What are you doing here, Bella?"

I couldn't keep the scowl from showing at my face when I asked her that.

And as per usual, she smiled sweetly at me.

"I wanted to visit you – I noticed you gave most of the cupcakes I baked for you to the canteen staff, so I retrieved them and I brought them back to you here."

 _God. She's carrying all that nasty stuff with her._

"Oh, that's lovely dear. That's so thoughtful of you. Here, let me carry them to the kitchen."

My ever dependable mom smiled at her as she took the carton of the nasty cupcakes.

 _Christ, there was already a twinkle in her eyes when she looks at Bella._

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen," Bella smiled hugely, and even blushed a little.

If she hadn't won over my mother before, I'm sure that blush right there instantly converted mom to Bella's number one fan. My mom has had talked nonstop how much she wanted a blushing bride for me.

"Oh, you're so polite. Just call me Esme." Then leaned to whisper on Bella's ear, "Or better yet, _mom_ ," as if I couldn't hear them.

"Mom," Bella all-too-willingly complied.

Both women then giggled – freaking _giggled_.

Just then, dad showed up from his study.

"What's happening here?" He asked with a smile as he walked towards where we were at the living room, and when he saw Bella, his smile grew ten-folds. "And who is this lovely lady here?"

 _Ugh. They even have the same nickname for her._

"Honey, this lovely lady is our son's future wife, Bella Swan."

"Hi Dr. Cullen," Bella greeted with another of that blush.

"Wow, I didn't know Edward's got himself a girlfriend."

Even more bashfully, Bella smilingly muttered, "We aren't together yet. But I hope soon, Dr. Cullen."

"Call me Carlisle. It's nice to meet you, Bella. You're very lovely to be my son's future wife."

"Thank you Carlisle."

 _Ugh. This isn't happening. I have to act now before the damage will be permanent._

"Mom, dad, Bella _isn't_ my girlfriend, and I don't think she is my future wife. She is just a classmate."

Now mom's eyes shot daggers. And not too hard to guess, I was the one on the receiving side of her wrath.

"Son, that is too rude! You have a girl _bake_ for you these delicious-looking cupcakes, and you break her heart like this? I raised you a gentleman …"

I couldn't help mumble, "They are only that – delicious- _looking_ …"

"… and you should speak to her in a respectful way. Apologize to Bella right this instant!"

Oh man. I can't disobey my mom when she gives me _that look_.

"I'm sorry Bella," I mumbled again. And of course, the crazy lady smiled.

"It's alright Edward."

And then, my mother just had _the most brilliant idea_.

"Oh, Bella, why don't you stay for dinner? I roasted chicken and prepared salad."

"If it's not too much …" Bella pretended to hesitate.

My father, of course, just has to encourage her then.

"We insist Bella. We'd love to have you for dinner."

"Thanks Esme, Carlisle."

My lovely parents then ushered my lovely future wife to our lovely dining room.

Did you hear all the sarcasm?

When Bella's eyes shifted to mine, I swear she was gloating.

The woman is too crazy for her own good.

It wasn't that I don't find Bella Swan attractive. Sure, she's pretty, with big, brown eyes, pale-white complexion, and hot-looking brown hair. Her blush even makes her kinda cute. And I sometimes find myself amazed at her utter lack of care of whatever people might think of her for as long as she does what she wants, just like dancing on the parking lot the other day while she blasted her stereo (and, by the way, she's a really good dancer); but, most of the time (and I hope I don't sound like a pussy), the woman scares the shit out of me. I mean, who in their right mind would chase me the way that she does?

And isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Shouldn't I be the one doing the chasing?

Bella Swan is one scary woman – interesting, but scary.

* * *

 **BPOV**

It was interesting how I wasn't scared at all meeting My Edward's parents. It must have had something to do with how much accommodating they were.

Meanwhile, my love hasn't looked up from his plate, finding something worth more his attention in his food.

It was alright. I would just focus on my future in-laws.

"So Bella, I heard you're the Chief's daughter, is that right?"

"Yes. Charlie – my dad – is the Chief of Police."

"Do you have any siblings?"

Being new to the community, their inquisition was not surprising for me. Though I admit that living in the small town of Forks makes me instantly jump to the conclusion that everybody already knows everything about me, their lack of knowledge was refreshing.

"I'm an only child. My mom – Renee – had a hard time conceiving kids and almost lost me. They wanted more children, but I guess fate doesn't work that way. I think she had one miscarriage before she had me."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." Esme really looked like she was sorry.

"It's okay. They have me."

"That, they do. I understand how hard that must have been for your mother. Carlisle and I had tried and tried before, but we really just can't have kids."

She looked at Dr. Carlisle's face with the sadness they bore before.

"It's a good thing you have Edward now."

I glanced at my love who now looks at me with an unreadable expression. I smiled at him.

"Yes, it is," Carlisle casted a reverend smile to his son. "I'm really glad we adopted Edward."

 _Wait, what?_

My shock was reflected to my love's face.

"Oh," Esme exclaimed. "You weren't supposed to spread the word about Edward's adoption, Carlisle. Didn't we already agree upon this?"

"Yes, but if Bella were to be our son's future wife, she has to know about this sooner rather than later, don't you think?"

And then both my future in-laws turned their heads towards me, awaiting my brilliant reaction.

My love's expression was torn between furious and expectant.

So I shrugged nonchalantly as I said:

"It's a good thing you adopted a really handsome boy. We'll have cute little babies once we got married."

Esme gasped. Carlisle beamed. Edward scowled.

"Oh honey," that was my future mom, "I love you already!"

And then she leaped from her side of the table to hug me tight.

* * *

 **EPOV**

Hugs were shared. Good byes were exchanged. A few tears were shed.

Promises were made that _my lovely future bride_ will return to our home.

I wouldn't put it pass Esme to make a shrine for Bella right after she leaves.

"I really love your family. They're gracious."

I was now walking with Bella towards her ancient Chevy, wondering idly how come the humongous grandma truck could still crawl with its antiquity.

"Was that true – that bit about your mother having a miscarriage before she had you?"

She looked aghast when she snapped her head to me.

"Of course it is! Would you think I'll ever lie about something like that?"

Now I feel guilty. And it's a sad thing what her parents went through. I could truly empathize with that.

"I'm sorry. It's just that after everything you did to catch my attention, I just briefly considered you're only trying to gain my sympathy."

She huffed. Now I really made her pissed.

I should be happy – she'll back out if she knows I can be a jerk.

But I wasn't. If possible, I felt even more extremely guilty.

"I'm not a liar. I've never been a liar. Crap, I even say things that people don't want to hear because I can't lie."

She was huffing and crossing her arms.

I should be happy. I should be …

"I'm really very sorry."

I hang my head. Forlorn.

Suddenly, she hugged me. Tight.

"It's okay. I love you so I can look pass this. Just don't ever accuse me of something like that again."

Then _she kissed my cheeks._

Then she hopped on her truck.

Then I stared at her. Agape.

"See you at school," she said with that smile again that makes her look like crazy things were running on her mind.

And I was dumbfounded. Utterly flabbergasted and bemused.

I jerked my head back and forth while I reminded myself to stay clear off Bella's path.

 _She's a scary woman. She's a scary woman. She's a scary woman._

* * *

 **BPOV**

I was a little scared of my best friend and her antics.

Sunday night, I was at Alice's place. Her parents were gone for a weekend romance trip somewhere in California, and Alice was left to her own devises.

We were watching porn.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those girls that enjoy looking at dirty, dirty stuff behind closed doors. It's just that Alice wanted to try something new with Jasper, and I was an unfortunate victim because according to her, I should learn some stuff too.

It was my first time to watch porn. Suffice to say, I'm a virgin who'd never had a boyfriend before.

My eyes were glued to the television screen. I couldn't look away if I wanted to.

It just seemed … gravitating.

I was hot all over, and my hands were sweaty.

And there was something … going down … there … like a flood …

And I was blushing like a tomato.

"Oh God, why did she do that after he did that?"

It was gross. It was utterly gross, and a tad bit barbaric. I realized that there was nothing hygienic about sex.

 _But why couldn't I look away?_

"Do you think Jasper would like it if I did that?"

 _No way._

"I don't know, Alice. I've never had sex before. And I'm just grossed out." And utterly transfixed. "Why did you even ask me here – porn is not something to be watched with someone else."

"Jasper and I watch porn sometimes when we do it," she says nonchalantly with a shrug.

I think I want to strangle her for putting that picture in my head.

"Ugh!" I uttered, in a gagging gesture. "Gross."

"Oh, now I'm hot and bothered."

"Can I leave now?" Can I remove my eyes from the video in front of me?

 _Why was she doing that with his …?_

"Yes, I think you should. I think I need to call Jasper. I can't sleep after this – I'm a hormonal teenager and watching porn makes me want to spontaneously combust."

Okay, Bella, slowly remove your eyes from the video.

Very slowly.

Good, and inch your head downwards …

Lower …

Great.

"Bye Alice. Go screw Jasper or whatever."

She had a smirk as she said, "Go screw yourself in the shower."

It rhymed. I hated her.

When I opened the door as I was about to leave Alice, Jasper was there.

 _How long had he been there? Had he been there the whole time?_

His face was too red and he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Hi Jas–," I wasn't even able to finish my sentence when Alice suddenly leapt out from behind me, tackling Jasper into a searing kiss, and attaching both her legs around him.

I waved a goodbye to the two disgusting, horny couple before I closed the door from their retreating figure.

They didn't even notice me leave.

However as I drove home, I couldn't get the video out of my head, and I didn't know what to do, because it's not like I do screw myself on the shower – I've never done that before. And I didn't want to start now.

So, with all my teenage hormones and my frustrations, I tossed and turned that evening in my bed. I didn't know how to release my emotions – there wasn't anything for me to do.

I woke up the next day for school in a very grumpy, agitated mood.

Everyone in school seemed to know that I was in a very foul mood. I snapped at everyone, so it was not hard to guess. They continued to keep their distance from me with wary eyes.

"Do you have an extra pen, Bella …?"

I glared at my classmate.

She scuffled away.

"Pass you assignment, Miss Swan …"

I glared at my English teacher.

He looked down.

"What do you want ma'am …?"

I glared at the concessionaire.

She scooped a sloppy joe without me telling her.

And by the time Biology came, Sourpuss Banner was more restless than usual as he continued glancing at my direction, and then would quickly look away. He was setting some things in the slides for what seemed like another lab activity. I was early for this period because I couldn't stand sitting with Rose and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper, when I was the third-slash-fifth wheel.

It was so unfair. They always have a way to release their frustrations.

And just before the bell rang, Edward came in.

And my mouth popped open.

He glared at me, as per usual. Our very short bonding over family dinner last Friday has not softened him up to me, it seems.

But it was fine, because I would never give up on him.

However, right now, it was very much not fine, because I look at him and I seemed to go more flustered and hot.

He silently took his seat beside me, and I couldn't help but notice his forearm. Those strong looking muscles …

Hands that play baseball …

Holding the baseball bat …

Ugh! I hate porn!

It was messing with my already messed up mind!

"Kids, we're going to have a little fun activity today! I have slides here, and you have to label them to the phases of _mitosis_ …" Sourpuss was saying followed by a collective groan from my classmates, and all I heard from him was the word " _clitoris_ ".

So, I ignored all this. I inspected my love's chiseled jaw instead.

I never noticed him that way before. It was like I have new eyes.

Can his jaw cut cheese? I like cheese. Cheese are cheesy. Is it cheesy to say that cheese are cheesy?

Next thing I knew, sourpuss was already handing out slides to our table. Edward started to adjust our microscope without words.

"Have you ever watched porn?"

Edward coughed like he swallowed something bad and it got stuck on his throat. After his coughing fit, he stared at me with teary eyes. I patted his back.

"What?" He asked, alarmed, when he was finally able to speak.

"It's just that, I watched porn for the first time yesterday night and I can't seem to dislodge the video from my head. It makes me grumpy today, and utterly frustrated."

I removed my hand from his back. He was looking at me with a shocked expression.

"What? You've never watched porn before?"

"Shh!" He hushed, looking furiously around us to see if anyone heard me.

Sourpuss passed our table and my love pretended to look busy placing a slide to the microscope. Once he knew we're out of Sourpuss' radar, he shifted his eyes back to me.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Why couldn't I?" I countered. He sighed, as if he was just as frustrated as I am.

"Alright. I do watch porn. I mean, who's a teenage guy who doesn't?"

"Do you like watching it?"

He set up to do our supposed shared lab work by filling out the paper.

"I guess so. It's not more of I like watching it. It's more of my body needs it sometimes. But not, like, every day. Unlike others, I don't make a habit out of it."

"But it's gross! What the girl does, and the guy does, and in the end …" I crunched up my face as I reminisce the really disgusting parts.

Edward sniggered.

"If it's so gross why can't you get it out of your head?"

"I don't know. I guess seeing you right now make me think about it more."

He started with the coughing fit again, and I patted his back again. However, this time, he was the one to angle his body away from my grasp.

"What?" He asked incredulously.

"You're hot. You're really so hot. I know the entire Fork's female population thinks so, but I never understood how hot you are until today."

His face was a mixture of surprise, wonder, pride and disgust.

"Bella, that's not something you randomly tell people and expect them to recover quickly from, okay? How are you a girl and so straightforward like this? Girls shouldn't chase after guys. It's us who should be the ones doing the chasing. And now you're practically telling me you want to have sex with me."

I opened my mouth in bewilderment as I grew beet red.

"No!" I whispered-shouted. "It's not like that! I'm a virgin, and I really like you, but you should buy me dinner first before we go to third base. I mean, I didn't even have first base with you. I'm just very curious. Forget I even asked you."

I looked down in huge embarrassment. _Where is the hole that should be present to swallow me right now?_

Edward sniggered again, seeming to have a hard time controlling his outburst.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

I really like him happy, but I don't want him laughing at my expense.

He took a moment to answer, and to tame his laughter.

"You're a scary woman. You're a really scary woman," he muttered, continuing with our bio activity with that damn crooked smile.

Should have it bothered me that my love watched porn?

But the answer was no. He's just like any normal guy teen. And he doesn't seem to be the type to whore around, so it was safe that way.

His watching porn is a natural thing.

And I decided then to put these frustrations behind me …

And to never watch porn again.

* * *

 **A/N:** I was feeling a bit generous because I got a kick out of the reactions from the first chapter. Help me feel more generous by telling me your thoughts on the "golden" box below. *winks*


	4. Chapter 3: Two Stories in One Story

**CHAPTER 3: TWO STORIES IN ONE STORY**

 **BPOV**

Ever since I made Tanya Denali my nemesis, she became the hugest pain in my ass.

On Monday, I baked Edward another batch of cupcakes with crooked smiley faces to signify his panty-combusting crooked smile. On the other hand, Tanya gave Edward a _real_ cake she baked out of her bare hands. It was chocolate – my favorite flavor. I was drooling the entire time Edward was taking bite after bite of the delicious chocolaty goodness.

Noticing my transfixion on what he was eating, Edward then shoved into my open mouth a piece of the cupcake I made for him.

I spit the cupcake as soon as it touched my taste-bud.

It tasted like vomit.

On Tuesday, I brought Edward a bouquet of flowers fresh from our gardens. However, I was too excited about the prospect of giving him flowers that I picked them the night before.

Bad news – they were sunflowers.

They were already greyish and the buds were closed when I gave them to him.

And to my utter horror, Tanya chose that exact opportunity to give Edward a concert ticket of some band playing in Seattle, asking him to come with her. Apparently, it was a band that my Edward loves.

So my flowers got discarded on the trash bin, giving Tanya free reign to throw at me her satisfied smirk.

On Wednesday, I wrote a poem for Edward and sneaked into the campus' radio room to make a public declaration.

There I recited:

 _Edward, my love, I loved you since I first met you_

 _You lighten up my day like honey dew_

 _Whenever you smile, I would sigh, as my heart would beat faster, faster, and would cease for a while_

 _Why is it crooked? Why am I stupid? A fool in love with you._

 _You awaken my girly bits_

 _I spend nights thinking about your manly physique_

 _If my cooters would have a voice_

 _She would say, "Cum into me, you naughty, naughty boy"_

 _But that was a vulgar thing to say_

 _For a girl who hasn't even had her first base_

 _So I instead I say to you_

 _You fine piece-of-man, I will marry you_

 _I will bear all your babies in my tummy_

 _And we will make a house full of laughter and gummies_

 _And when it's night_

 _And we're alone_

 _The sexy times will keep us awake us we climax oh so deeply_

 _So baby, don't resist me_

 _Because, My Edtard, I tell you, we were meant to be_

It was the most romantic poem of the century – or so Rosalie told me as she tried to contain her laughter from bursting by covering her mouth with both her hands.

My poem might have done its job … only, if Edward had heard it. But apparently, Tanya dragged him to the café a block across campus during the exact time of my poem recital to treat him a drink.

When I learned this, my heart _got crushed, crushed, and was resurrected in wrath._

On Thursday, I made a promise not to get beaten by Tanya, so I didn't try anything to woo my future husband.

Tanya must have felt that I was losing my touch, as she has smirked again at me as if claiming her victory.

When I approached Edward on his table at lunch, he seemed a little bit wary of me, but when I didn't do anything, he visibly relaxed.

However, what they didn't know was that I was only putting my gear on for my grand battle scheme for Friday …

* * *

Streamers were everywhere; Forks High's "awoof, awoof" Spartan spirit was high in the sky; it was the most awaited day for the athletes of Forks High.

There's at least nine percent chance out of a hundred that we'll finally win on baseball against Port Angeles after fifty years, because, according to the captain Emmett McCarty, "We will win because I say so," – and that was the only convincing I needed to believe him.

Therefore, I needed to show my support to the number one batter, my love, the perfect, Edtard, Edward Cullen.

And I've been working on my "support" for the whole day of Thursday and Thurs-night, lacking a few hours of sleep.

When the most awaited game has come, Tanya made sure she booked the closest seat that has a great vantage point to our prince.

However, I wasn't threatened.

I knew that when I will start with my "support", Tanya's ass will be thrown into the gutter, as she would cry from her defeat, and I would dance into my salsa victory dance around her.

And Edt-Edward will finally fall for me.

The night of the game, the moment Forks baseball team finally emerged to the grass field, shrieks of delusional female (and she-male) fans immediately grated on our ears. More than half of them were wearing the number of my Edtar-Edward's uniform to show their _support_ to him.

I only rolled my eyes at their antics. They were no challenge at all.

I then waited for the ceremony to start. When it finally happened, I didn't even have to leave my seat: everything unfolded on its own.

"Let's all rise for the singing of the National Anthem," the emcee announced, and we all had no choice but to follow him, because it's a general knowledge you follow what the emcee says, even if it was ridiculous to stand and put your right hand on your chest …

Everyone turned their attentions to the big screen as the Stars Spangled Banner started playing. When it was over, the emcee was about to speak again, when suddenly …

"Listen. I know millions of delusional fans of my Edtard are present right now, so even before we begin the game, I wanted to be the first to show my support to him because _all is fair in love and war_."

Yep. That was me. On the big screen.

I loved my smart-ass line of, "all is fair in love and war".

The crowd cheered in delight.

"This is my sexy rendition of 'I Wanna Marry Edtard' by Lady Gagita," the _me_ on the big-screen said. She was wearing my sexy cowboy attire, and I must say she looked damned fine in her outfit.

Afterwards, she started the sexiest sing and dance rendition of the song, replacing all the "The Night" lyrics with "Edtard".

The crowd was having a blast, as I had expected, while Principal Green was very furious as he was barking orders to cut the video off.

However, what he didn't know was that I already expected that he'd want my head on the platter as soon as he saw the video, because just like Mr. Banner, he was also a Sourpuss, so I made sure to bribe the technical team to continuously play the video even after Sourpuss No. 2's protests.

And boy, sure they did.

It was phenomenal. Everyone was cheering on me. Even Tanya was laughing.

I chanced a glance at my Edtard to see him … _grasping the shirt of one of his teammates, looking really furious._

I didn't know what he was doing but all I could think was, _Gee, talk about over-reaction._

And then, the best part finally came, where I recited my poem again that Edtard didn't have a chance to hear last Wednesday.

And as expected …

The crowd went wild.

Tanya was throwing her hands in the air.

My friends were hollering in delight.

My Edt-Edward was covering his face with his hands.

However, there was one thing that I didn't factor out which bit me in my sexy ass:

That my parents were also fond of baseball, and that they will be present on the game.

So, as soon as I saw my father was red-faced in his fury and was taking large strides towards my direction, I did the only sane thing to do.

I bolted.

Towards the grass field.

To snatch the mic from the emcee.

"COME BACK HERE, ISABELLA! YOU DO NOT TELL A GUY YOU WANT TO CLIMAX WITH HIM! YOU'RE MY ONLY DAUGHTER! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

I heard my furious father yell at me from the bleachers. He wasn't even making sense.

So, fueled with the anxiety that my father would get to me before I could say what I wanted to say, I shouted at the mic with all my might:

"LISTEN EVERYONE!"

The crowd cheered again, before they calmed down enough to hear me out.

"I'm Isabella Swan, a senior, and I will have Edtard's future babies even though my father will ground me after this! No one can keep us apart! He's the only person I will lose my V-card to! He's my Romeo, and if you want him, you have to go over me first! And I'm here to support him in his game …!"

That was the exact moment my father caught up to me to pinch me in my ear, as he scolded, "Damn right, you're grounded, young lady!"

And worse, Principal Green was able to yell at me, "Three days suspension, Swan!"

And much, much worse, I saw Tanya smacked her lips to Edward right before my father dragged me away from the field.

 _Tanya Denali, my nemesis, I WILL GET TO YOU,_ I silently promised to myself.

 _And I will drive you crazy with fury._

* * *

 **EPOV**

Bella Swan was getting into me, and it was driving me crazy.

On Monday …

"Oh God, here she comes," I groaned into my hands as I saw Bella entered the canteen.

I tried to be inconspicuous – I sat as far away from the canteen door as possible.

However, Bella had eyes that were like magnifying glasses when it comes to me, and so she easily found me after just one scan of the room. Once she saw me, her whole face lit up like Christmas lights and she sprinted – yes, _sprinted_ – towards my table.

I suddenly hoped I could have been swallowed by the floor as the whole canteen people were shooting us furtive glances, and snickering quietly.

As was usual, Bella didn't notice that she was drawing attention to us and simply proceeded to take the seat in front of me with still her huge smile plastered on her face.

"I brought you my cupcakes. See these," she placed the box of her cupcakes on the table and opened the lid. Just looking at them was enough to invoke the memories of their horrid, rotten-like taste. "I used the icing to draw your face! Look at how crooked the smiles are? That's your girly-bits-awakening crooked smile!"

 _Say what now? Girly-something-awakening?_

She then proceeded to explain each of her "masterpieces", pointing at them with a too happy expression.

And I didn't know what came into me.

At that moment, it was like my heart was suddenly melting.

It wasn't like in those cheesy, over-the-top romance shows. I just felt all warm inside because even though her cupcakes had the most disgusting tastes on the world, I knew that she had placed tremendous effort to make them, and it was evident in the small bugs under her eyes. She even decorated them with my face, and I found myself smiling the "crooked" smile she was telling me as I tried to associate my face with the smileys on the cupcakes.

When I realized what I was doing, I immediately got my shit together and sat straighter, again realizing that I was leaning towards her unconsciously.

And to create an excuse, I brought out my lunch prepared by my mother, and told her that I already had a cake.

"You have a cake? Who baked it?"

Too chicken to say it was my mother who made it, I suddenly blurted out, "Tanya. Tanya made it for me and gave it to me this morning."

"Oh," she responded, casting her eyes down a little in a look of disappointment.

For some reason, I felt guilty for lying.

Not knowing how to respond to the sudden awkward atmosphere, I started eating my cake without looking at her.

A few minutes of silence later, and a few bites into my cake, I chanced a glance at her face to find in surprise that she had her eyes trained on my cake while her mouth was hanging open. She resembled a dog drooling over a piece of bone.

I laughed quietly, but she didn't even notice me doing it.

Just to rile her up, I took one of her cupcakes and suddenly thrust it inside her mouth.

With my action, she finally snapped out of her dazzled look, and to my surprise, she spit the cupcake into the table, exclaiming, "It tastes horrible!"

 _Now you know …_ I almost told her, but I kept it to myself.

Still spitting invisible bites of cupcakes from her mouth, she then stood to say, "I need to go to the ladies room to rinse out the taste."

Once she was gone, I couldn't help but take the whole box of cupcakes to my locker, and to take a picture of my "crookedly smiling face" of one of her cupcakes on my phone.

On Tuesday …

"Oh God, here she comes," I groaned into my hands as I saw Bella entered the canteen.

She was carrying some grass as she scanned the room for me. Once her eyes landed on mine, her whole face lit up like fireworks on New Year as she bouncingly – _yes, bouncingly_ – went to me.

Right when she was in front of me, she shoved into my hands the grass she was carrying, exclaiming:

"Those flowers are from my garden! I picked them up thinking about you. They were supposed to be sunflowers, but I was too excited to pick them up the buds didn't open this morning."

 _Oh, so these were supposed to be flowers_.

"Thanks, but they're already wilting."

Shocked at what I've said, she leaped on to me, knocking me off my chair as she inspected the flowers she has brought me.

I fell on my ass to the floor with a loud BAM.

 _That will leave a bruise_ , I thought wryly.

However, Bella was once again unaware of what happened.

"Oh my god! Edtard, stop being such a baby and take a look at these flowers: they're already greyish!"

"No shit, Sherlock," I mumbled so she wouldn't hear me, and then glumly added, "And it's Edward," as she started wailing too loudly.

Again, the canteen people were having a feast watching us.

I stood from the floor to sit back on my seat.

Just then, Tanya Denali showed up, walking towards me with a gait I thought only ostriches were capable of doing.

 _I wonder why she was walking that way …_

"Hi Edward!" She greeted with a shy smile thrown in my direction once she reached us, and then tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Hi Tanya."

Hearing our exchange, Bella finally turned her head away from her wailing of the flower-grass to see that Tanya was with us.

"Blondie big butt, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here!" Bella then asked with a combination of surprise and fury etched in her face.

"Why Swan, I don't think you own the canteen so what rights do you have to make me leave?"

Bella then blinked three consecutive times, looking like a cartoon character, before finally saying, "The Constitution of United States wouldn't be taught until College! I thought you have brains."

 _Where did that come from?_

Both Tanya and I seemed to have no clue where the usual crazy thoughts of Bella were heading, so we just shrugged and returned to our conversation.

"Edward, I came here to tell you that Maroon 3 are singing in Seattle this Saturday."

"Really? I love Maroon 3! My favorite of their songs was 'Cellphone'."

Bella chose that moment to hum my favorite song.

Again, we ignored her.

"I have tickets and I was wondering if you want to go with me," Tanya finished with yet again one of her shy smiles.

I realized then what she was trying to accomplish. She probably was trying to flirt with me.

So, smiling my usual "girly-bits-awakening crooked" smile, I responded, "Tanya, thank you for this invitation. They're really my favorite band and I would really like to go …"

Just then, Bella started shrieking "ahhhh!" all the while covering her ears, and jumping up and down.

And before I even asked her what was wrong, she dashed away from us while still shrieking, carrying her flower-grass with her, and in a span of five seconds, she had already reached the garbage can near the entrance of the canteen and threw all her flower-grass there, before running for the exit.

The entire canteen was quiet for a beat while we watched the whole scene. Then, as though nothing had happened, we all resumed to what we were all previously doing.

"So, you were saying?" Tanya asked to return to our conversation as she fluttered her eyelids and stood straighter with her hands on her back.

Her gesture made my eyes cast a little towards her boobs like the prepubescent boy that I once was, before I snapped out of it.

 _Man, they were like watermelons. Those must have been heavy._

"Yeah … I was saying … err … thank you, really, for the invitation, but I have to decline."

"Oh," she uttered, looking disappointed.

"Yeah." I scratched my neck. "My mom and I have plans for that day," I then smoothly lied.

She was still crestfallen after my refusal but she nodded her understanding.

"Alright. Guess I'll see you around then," she said, before waving her hands as she retreated from me.

"Yeah. Bye," I responded with my smile and a wave.

After the bell rang signaling the end of lunch, and before I went to biology, I made sure I was the last person on the canteen as I mission-impossible-d my way to the garbage can to retrieve the flower-grass Bella has given me.

I thought I was successful, but a canteen staff saw me, looked at the flower-grass I was holding, and then shot me an all-knowing smirk.

"Oh God," I groaned. "Please don't tell anyone."

The woman's smile grew as she said, "Seems like she's getting to you. It's hard not to like her."

I was groaning when I left, shaking my head, and continuously repeating my mantra of, "She's a scary woman … She's a scary woman … She's a scary woman …!"

On Wednesday …

"Oh God, here she comes," I groaned into my hands as I saw _Tanya Denali_ sauntered forward towards me at Gym class.

I was beginning to see a pattern, as though she and Bella were in a competition of some sort.

"Hi Tanya," I greeted with my uneasy smile, all the while noticing some of the girls in my class trying – but failing – to be inconspicuous in their stares at us.

"Hi Edward. There's a café just outside the school and I was wondering if we could go to lunch together with my girlfriends?"

 _What would be the polite way to decline her offer?_

I lowered my voice before I spoke next so that my classmates wouldn't hear a word I would say.

"Sorry, Tanya, but I have to finish an assignment in Bio so I was thinking of spending some time in the library instead."

"Oh."

She looked down in disappointment again, so I immediately added, "But next time, maybe."

That easily cheered her up as she said, "Great! It's a date then!"

Then she winked before leaving me.

And all my girl classmates giggled as they whispered to themselves.

And I had a feeling they thought I will be having a date with Tanya on lunch today.

However, I tried to remove these thoughts from my mind when lunch came. True to my word, I decided to stay at the library instead of at the canteen.

What I did not know was that it would be the start of my nightmare.

 _I should have escaped when I had the chance._

" _Mic Test, Mic Test."_

The moment I heard the voice from the stereos on the school, I was already groaning in my palms, having an idea of what was to transpire next.

" _Hi, good lunch everyone. I'm Bella Swan, a senior, and I have something to say as you all take a bite on your delicious – or crappy, depending on whoever cooked it – lunch today."_

Oh God. Why would she even introduce herself? Everybody knows it's her!

" _Here's a little poem I wrote yesterday night by thinking of the love of my life, my destiny, my meant to be, Edtard, Edward Cullen."_

"It's _Edward_!" I muttered helplessly in my seat.

And to my horror, all the people in the library shifted their eyes on me.

I felt like I was dancing naked in front of them with the way their eyes were boring into me.

" _Ahem, ahem."_

God. Here it goes.

" _Edward, my love, I loved you since I first met you_

 _You lighten up my day like honey dew_

 _Whenever you smile, I would sigh, as my heart would beat faster, faster, and would cease for a while_

 _Why is it crooked? Why am I stupid? A fool in love with you."_

At this point the heat from my cheeks had spread all over my face.

The people at the library started sniggering.

" _You awaken my girly bits_

 _I spend nights thinking about your manly physique_

 _If my cooters would have a voice_

 _She would say, "Cum into me, you naughty, naughty boy"_

 _But that was a vulgar thing to say_

 _For a girl who hasn't even had her first base_

 _So I instead I say to you_

 _You fine piece-of-man, I will marry you"_

God! Doesn't she have any mouth-filter at all?

One of the people in the library whistled towards me.

" _I will bear all your babies in my tummy_

 _And we will make a house full of laughter and gummies_

 _And when it's night_

 _And we're alone_

 _The sexy times will keep us awake us we climax oh so deeply"_

Though I hated to admit it, at this point, I couldn't help the laughter that erupted from me.

And though I was still utterly embarrassed, there's something endearing in the way someone tells you she'll be yours _every night_ after she has borne all your "babies in her tummy".

" _So baby, don't resist me_

 _Because, My Edtard, I tell you, we were meant to be"_

"It's Ed _ward_!" I groaned again.

Was it really that hard to memorize my name?

"Damn man, that was a crazy-ass confession right there. Congrats," one of the guys in the library told me – he looked like the kind of kid who still hadn't seen a boob apart from the two-dimensional world from his laptop.

"Thanks," I muttered my sarcasm.

" _ISABELLA MARIE SWAN …!_ "

We all then heard the unmistakable voice of Principal Green from the stereo.

Laughter once again ensued – some of them coming from the staff on the library – and someone commented: "Now she's busted."

" _WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!_ "

" _Professing my love, Principal Green! Gee, wasn't that obvious? What's the use of your doctorate if you couldn't have figured that out?_ " was Bella's smart-ass replied.

At this point, we were all clutching our bellies as we tried to stop the laughter erupting from us.

 _The audacity of this woman to defy any form of governance …_

" _WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG LADY?"_

I was imagining that Principal Green's bald head would be all shades of red in his fury.

" _And now you're pretending to be deaf and daft. Chillout, man. I'm starting to be afraid about your health – you might collapse in the floor_."

At this point, tears were forming in my eyes.

" _DETENTION, YOUNG LADY!_ "

"Jesus, wasn't that the third time just for this week?"

Someone – a girl – said.

"Couldn't blame Principal Green. Swan is a handful."

Someone else – a boy – replied.

Then we all heard Swan shriek, and then yelled, " _YOU'RE LIKE SOURPUSS MR. BANNER THE SECOND, PRINCIPAL GREEN! WHAT'S THE USE OF FREE SPEECH? IF YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENCY, WE WILL LOSE OUR DEMOCRACY AND WILL UNDERGO DICTATORSHIP …"_

And that's when the recording ended.

All the library people clapped, and hollered, and cheered.

Forks High had just witnessed – or "heard" – another dose of epic entertainment courtesy of the one and only, the fearless, Isabella Marie Swan.

I wasn't surprise not to find Bella in Biology, and "Sourpuss" Mr. Banner was more irritated than usual. No doubt he heard the whole declaration thing, and by now was aware that he had gained a new nickname.

After the epic speech of Bella Swan at lunch, whispers would follow me wherever I would go.

Every once in a while, guys would high-five me and would say something like:

"Congrats man. You have a fierce future wife. Congrats about the future babies in her tummy."

And I would bury my face in my hands in embarrassment.

But as I drove home, I recalled Bella's epic poem, and for some reason, a smile formed in my face.

 _The audacity of that woman … she's a free bird, that one._

Then I banged my head on my steering wheel, as I realized her poem has influenced my rhyming skill.

And I continued driving down the road, as I say my mantra, "She's a scary woman, she's a scary woman," and hoped that I would finally have a sense of the word.

On Thursday …

"Oh God, here she comes," I groaned into my hands as the _twelfth_ girl approached me for the day to wish me a good luck at my game, followed by the weirdest of requests, like signing her boob as a good luck charm for her upcoming exam.

Apparently, the proclamation of Bella where she branded me as her "future husband" has emboldened the other females to speak their minds about their crushes.

She was creating a trend. The females of Forks High where starting to worship her grounds.

The other guys where having a blast at the attentions being thrown into them by the girls, however, the opposite could be said to me, because, _damn_ , _who asks a guy to sign their boobs?_

And of course, I politely declined the request by the twelfth girl, showing my "crooked" smile to her to lighten up the blow.

Said girl still shrieked and looked like she was hyperventilating when she left, so I knew I didn't really break her heart.

Amidst this entire spectacle, the female idol in question clearly had no clue about the hype she had started when she entered the canteen at lunch, directly going to my table.

I admit I had frozen in my spot when I saw her; scared of what she was to do next.

However, Bella only placed the tray of her lunch on the table once she took a seat across me, and started eating without a word.

"Bella, what's …" I started saying, but she cut me off.

"Wait, I'm thinking. Don't talk to me."

 _Why did I feel like I was slapped?_

I was momentarily stricken by the thought that she had gotten over me so fast, and this thought had occupied my mind for the entire day when she still didn't pay me the usual amount of attention she showers to me during Biology.

For some reason, it felt like my chest was suffocating by the thought …

Until I realized I must be becoming a _fame whore_.

I then shook my head to dispel the thoughts as I practiced hard for the upcoming Baseball match for the next day.

However, I should have known it was only the calm before the storm.

And I learned this the hard way come Friday.

On Friday …

"Oh God, here _they_ come," I groaned into my hand as I watched a group of female walking towards me to once again wish me luck for the game.

It would have been a really great sentiment if they would only cheer for me and do nothing more, but man, were the girls crazy!

It started out during Wednesday's Bella Swan's declaration of love, and continued until now. The girls were all being forward with the guys that they like, and they were honestly creeping me out.

When they stopped in front of me, wearing duplicates of my uniform with my number and face on the fronts, they all looked at each other for some sort of signal, before …

"One, two, three!" One of them shrieked, and what followed was a poorly choreographed cheer dance where their only spiel was:

"Go Edward," _clap … clap … clap …_

"Our Sexy man," _clap … clap … clap …_

It was enough to evoke nightmares on my sleep.

After they were finished, I scratched my neck in awkwardness as I delivered the expected response, "Err, thank you."

Then they all fucking shrieked like there was a huge fire.

So the whole day, even though I wanted to focus on the game, I couldn't.

And when the time came for the game to finally start …

"Let us all rise for the singing of the National Anthem," the emcee proclaimed, as we did the obligatory standing and putting our right hands in our chest, because it is common knowledge you do what the emcee tells you to do.

And after the song has ended …

"Oh God, what now?" I groaned for the umpteenth time as I saw Bella Swan appear into the big screen.

She was wearing an over-the-top cowboy outfit and she said something along the lines of "a song she'll be singing to support me."

I tried not to pay attention to all of it – I had buried my face into my hands.

However, someone from my team said …

"Oh man, look at her, I didn't know she could look so hot."

It was only then that I removed my hands from my face to see what Bella Swan was doing in the screen.

And, boy, was she hot!

Suddenly, I found myself sporting a boner as I watched her grind her sexy ass to the music, as she would replace a line from the song with my name, only that she would say "Ed _t_ ard" instead of "Ed _w_ ard."

The thing about Bella was that she wasn't trying too hard to be sexy. She didn't have too much make-up on her face, nor was she wearing skimpy attire. It was just the right kind of hot, and she could really bust her moves.

I already know that she could dance when I saw her at the parking lot as she blasted her grandma Chevy's stereo, but this time, as she executed her complicated choreography, my eyes were glued on how she would grind her ass, or flex her legs, to the beat.

And her voice was husky as fuck.

I was really confused. I should be avoiding her, and not having a huge turn-on.

And that's when I heard my teammate say …

"I would bury my face into her pussy for hours if I'd have the chance. She must be a filthy whore in bed."

And then I lost it. Completely.

It was like I was a different person as I launched myself to Riley, one of the cocky bastards in my team, and lifted him up from the ground by grasping the hem of his uniform.

"Take back what you said, Riley! Bella Swan is a decent girl! She does not deserve shit from your filthy fucking mouth!"

Riley looked like he'd shit his pants, but my fury was consuming me to give zero fucks at him.

The fans were oblivious however, while they continued to cheer on Bella on the screen as she was by then re-delivering her poem about me.

At that time, Coach Clapp approached us, trying to break our fight.

"Hey, what's happening here? Cullen? Biers?"

Coach Clapp asked, with me still burning in fury over the sick asshole.

Riley was like a little girl as he tried to explain to coach, "I-I don't know, Coach. I-I was just saying something about Bella, then Cullen lost it."

"Cullen, put Riley down before people would notice."

I reluctantly let Riley go with a huff.

"What did he say, Cullen?" Coach asked me as I tried to regain my composure.

"The stupid asshole said something very crude about Bella Swan, Coach. She mentioned burying his face on her private part, and alleged that Bella is some sort of degrading woman – of course, using more colorful words."

Coach scratched his head, seeming confused on what to do.

"Was that right, Biers?"

"Y-yes sir. I apologize, sir. I didn't know Swan is Cullen's girl."

I didn't even have it in me to correct him. I was still fuming with rage.

"Biers, next time, do not use such words again, especially pertaining to a woman. You're lucky we have a game today, and I want you to focus on that. But if you do something like this again, I'll send you to Principal Green, understood?"

"Y-yes sir," the asshole only too willingly obliged.

"And Cullen," Coach Clapp turned to me, "Just, try not to be too hot-headed next time."

"If assholes like him would try to watch their mouths, Coach, then I will."

The coach nodded, as though he was also afraid to cross me at that time, before walking away from us to return to his previous place.

Then I saw Emmett McCarty, our captain and Bella's friend, smirking at me from his place.

Then I buried my face again in my hands, embarrassed over being caught defending Bella Swan's honor.

Emmett approached me and clapped my shoulder as he said, "Good for you, man."

"God, please don't tell her. She's already crazy about me as it is."

He nodded, but his amused smile was still in place.

"She can be intense, but man, I tell you, she's a precious girl. You're a lucky guy. I'm sure you'll eventually cave in – it's hard not to like Bella Swan."

And for the first, I admitted to myself that Emmett might be right.

Just then …

"Listen everyone!"

I snapped my head at Bella Swan when I heard her voice, to find that she had somehow snatched the mic and was on the field.

"I'm Isabella Swan, a senior, and I will have Edtard's future babies even though my father will ground me after this …!"

Then …

 _Boomgh!_

I turned to see Tanya Denali crush to the grounds.

And because I was raised as a gentleman, I immediately ran to her side to help her up.

"What happened?" I asked after I had finally steadied her by holding onto her arms.

"I fell from my place! The crowd was going wild about Bella's Video and no one was paying attention that I was flailing my hands up for help because I was getting congested by people and next thing I knew I was already falling and I …"

"Tanya, breathe," I told her.

She took in a huge breath.

"Are you hurt somewhere?"

She tested walking, but she suddenly crushed to me, just in time for me to put my hand on my mouth before her lips would touch mine.

Eyes growing wide at what happened, she immediately extricated her mouth from my hand, exclaiming, "Oh sorry! I lost my balance!"

She then tried to regain said balance, but was having a hard time standing.

In my periphery, I saw Bella Swan being dragged away by her father, Chief Swan. I took a second when I noticed her shooting dagger-like looks at Tanya Denali's way, as though she was casting voodoo to her.

Turning my head back to Tanya, I asked, "C-can you stand?" while stuttering, because I was a little scared of the expression I had seen on Bella's face.

"Yes, I think I can. Thanks. I just broke my ankle, that's all."

"Alright. Try to hold onto the rails as I call a medic."

She obliged. I then ran towards the nearest first-aid station to tell what happened.

After the hugely embarrassing and complicated opening ceremony of the game, it was shocking to know that we somehow won over the Port Angeles Green Tigers after our fifty unbroken years of defeat.

Everyone cheered in delight. It was similar to a Papal visit when we marched back into the field, victorious, with happy smirks plastered on our faces.

Speculations then followed onto how we had won over our game.

Some says it was probably because of the combination of Emmett McCarty's captainship and Coach Clapp's coaching.

Some says it was probably because finally, Forks High had acquired a better team.

Some says it was probably because I was able to hit every ball thrown into us and made homeruns.

However, my teammates, and most of the Forks High population was saying an entirely different thing.

According to them, the moment Bella Swan showed her undying support to me, the entire team was bolstered to do better, allowing them to perform marvelously; and that for me, she had become my source of energy for the home runs.

I'd like to say differently, but who knows?

Probably, they were right.

* * *

 **A/N:** What was your favorite day? Mine was Wednesday. LMAO


	5. Chapter 4: Meet the Swans

**A/N:** What's this? Another chapter? Yay! I'm on a roll.

Someone says she wants at least 300k words of this. LOL. I was initially thinking that this will be a short fic, because as I told you, I was only writing it for fun. However, I'll try to do what I can, honey. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind.

Help me do what I can (or change my mind) by telling me your thoughts. They're like Bella's Video at the games last chapter – they bolster me to write "marvelously".

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4: MEET THE SWANS**

 **BPOV**

"Isabella, I know we tell you to be yourself all the time, but you do not say you want to have babies with a guy that you like in front of hundreds of people! What were you thinking, really?"

I was currently being scolded by my father at our living room after the phenomenal declaration I made at the Forks High's baseball game.

"But daddy, I love him!" I responded, using the baby girl voice that I know my father could never resist.

My mother, on the other hand, was having a blast capturing the whole thing on her camera. She loves it when Charlie and I were having a "father-daughter" relationship.

"But the stupid boy will take advantage of you if you show him how much you like him! Sweetie, you're my baby girl. I don't want you to get hurt over some kind of an animal boy."

"But daddy," I wept – tears flowing freely from my eyes for extra effect, while I was secretly pinching my side to produce said tears. "Edward isn't like that. And you're the one who's hurting me right now by telling me things like that. Don't you want me to be happy, daddy? You're becoming like Mr. Stanley!"

Charlie seemed to grow more furious with what I've said – only that his fury wasn't directed to me.

"Do not compare me to that … that … ugh!" He growled, having a hard time describing who Mr. Stanley was without using a few chosen words.

Mr. Stanley is the father of Jessica Stanley who my father always had a grudge on. Apparently, they had a history of fighting over my mother, and Mr. Stanley had played some dirty tricks against him, which my father could never forget. Therefore, whenever I would compare my father to Mr. Stanley, Chief Swan would instantly turn purple from his anger and resentment, allowing me to completely alleviate his attention from me.

Just like what I was doing right now.

"Of course, daddy, you are better than Mr. Stanley. He is nothing compared to you. Mr. Stanley is a bald, short, fat man, and his mind is more underdeveloped than that of a third grade kid. You're the sweetest, bestest, brightest, bravest, handsomest daddy ever!"

Mr. Stanley wasn't any of those things that I've said, but it wouldn't hurt to boost my father's ego to win his favor. After all, in my father's mind, Mr. Stanley was all that and more.

"Damn right, I am," my father grumbled, arching his head higher to show his superiority.

"Charlie, do not use such language in front of our daughter," my mother scolded him behind her camera, and my father immediately looked contrite.

"So daddy," I cooed, pinching myself harder to produce more tears, "please just let me be happy."

My mother joined in the fray by saying, "Have mercy on your poor daughter, Charlie. Remember the time when we're still courting each other? Remember the time you fought over me with your parents? Our daughter is fighting over her love right now! She needs our support more than ever!"

Then Renee also produced some of her tears. _I knew there was a reason why we were mother-and-daughter._

Charlie looked like he was having a hard time not to give in.

"Please daddy," I said as more tears flowed. I was certain I'll leave a bruise to my side from all the pinching I was doing.

"Please darling," my mother chimed in; her tears were becoming uncontrollable now, but she was still able to point her camera to us.

"Eeeerrrrr," my father contemplated.

I knew that he would be cracking any time now, so for extra measure, I looked at him with my years of mastered puppy dog eyes.

Then my father looked at the tear-stricken face of my mother, and shifted his eyes to my pouting one.

And after a few more groaning in his part, he finally exclaimed, "Alright, alright, you're free to love this guy that you like."

"Yay!" I yelled in exultation, jumping from my seat to envelope Charlie into my vice-grip hug.

"I love you daddy," I murmured, carrying on with my crying fit.

"I love you too, sweetie," he murmured back.

At this point, my mother was jumping like a school girl while continuing to shoot the scene before her.

And then my father gently pushed me away from him to look me in my eyes while saying in a stern voice, "But Isabella, for your own safety, I need to get to know who this boy is, alright?"

"Yes, daddy," I agreed at once, silently praying Charlie would not be in his cop mode when said interrogation ensues, and that my Edtard would survive the impending onslaught.

Or that he would at least be wearing a bullet-proof vest when that happens.

"Alright, stop crying sweetie. You're my baby girl, and I will always love you," he then sweetly said to me, and we resumed hugging each other, as Renee unceremoniously threw her camera on the couch to join in our hug.

 _I hope Edtard wouldn't run for the hills after my father is through with him._

* * *

 **EPOV**

I am seriously contemplating running for the hills with what my mother was doing right now.

Currently, we are in our living room after my baseball game, and my father was comforting my mother with her crying jag.

She claims they were tears of joy.

And that they weren't because my team won the game.

"She's just so lovely, Carlisle. I'm so touched right now. We couldn't have had a better daughter-in-law."

She wailed loudly again, wiping her tear-stricken face with her handkerchief.

"I know, Esme. We're lucky to have her as our future daughter. She's fearless when it comes to love," my ever-supportive father told her. Then, to my utter surprise, he suddenly cleared his throat in a manly rumble as though he, himself, was controlling the burst of his emotions.

 _They were the most supportive parents any athlete could ever think of._

Then my emotional mother even managed to quote Bella by saying, " _All is fair in love and war,"_ followed by another batch of her waterworks.

I contemplated going up to my room.

However, my mother called out to me, stopping me on my tracks.

"Edward," the sniveling woman said, "Get the album for me, please. I want to see the album once again."

"What album?" I asked in confusion.

" _The_ album. The photo-album I made of Bella and you."

 _Wait, what?_

"Mom, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Language, young man!" she instantly reprimanded, and just as easily, she went back to her crying fit. "It's on top of the lamp-table near mine and your father's bed. Go inside our bedroom and you'll see it there."

Having no choice but the follow the weird request of my mother, I went into their bedroom and easily located the "photo-album" she was saying.

 _Jesus, this is the biggest photo album I'd ever seen!_

Once I was back into the living room, my mother instantly snatched from my hand the said photo-album and immediately turned the cover into the first page.

And just like that, the stolen picture of Bella and me, while she was giving me her hand-made cupcakes last Monday, glared into my shocked face.

"Mom! When did you take a picture of that?"

"Last Monday. She worked so hard making these cupcakes, son."

Another sob erupted from her.

"Jesus Christ, are you some sort of a ninja?"

She ignored me as she flipped the page, and another picture of me was revealed. In the photo, I was putting the cupcakes into my locker with an alarmingly delighted expression.

"You even got to take a picture of that?" I asked incredulously.

"You secretly liked those cupcakes, didn't you? They look like you; they were so cute."

 _Fuck me._

"Are you telling me you've gone to my school every day just to take candid photos of me and Bella like a paparazzi?"

"This album will look better when I put all the pictures I've taken in the games. You were so furious over that Riley, son, and it was so cute."

 _Fuck me sideways._

"How did you even manage to get inside the school?"

"Principal Green owes us a big favor from our donation to your school," she answered nonchalantly.

I should have known Esme would go to the extremes to get what she wants.

 _Fuck me all over._

"Did you even go to my game to cheer me on?"

She threw me a sharp look as she said, "Of course I also cheered for you. But with you on the team, it's already a given that you'll win."

 _Well, at least the woman believes in my skills._

"But …" she then continued her thought as she turned her attention back to the photo album on her lap, "you've got to admit, seeing Bella cheer for you so intensely had made you more energized to win the game."

 _Fuck me nonstop._

"Right. I'll leave you to your fantasy then. I'm climbing up to my room."

My father was the only one who noticed what I've said, and he said, "Good night son. We're so proud of you."

I smiled genuinely at him.

However, my mother was still transfixed in the pictures, commenting, "Oh, look at these flowers. Too bad they wilted …"

 _Fuck my life._

And with that, our Friday night has finally concluded.

* * *

It was only when I went to school on Monday that I learned that Bella Swan got a three-day suspension after the stunt she pulled during the baseball game.

Because of this, I was given the much-needed air to relish how refreshing it was not to constantly be under her radar, and I was in a merry mood the whole day.

To top it all off, all the other girls in my class were hesitant to approach me, as though they finally realized that they could not stand a chance to compete against the intensity of Bella Swan.

Tanya Denali was the only one who wasn't as threatened, but I still refused her advances.

Other guys would have probably been confused why I was refusing the most popular girl in school. Sure, Tanya is hot: she had big boobs, big butt, a pretty face, and is even smart. However, try as I might, I just couldn't summon any attraction for her. Maybe it was because I feel as though there wasn't anything different about her; as though she was the same as any other girl.

Maybe I really am gay, as my parents had "concluded".

No, not really.

But overall, Monday was a happy, stress-free day.

When Tuesday rolled out, I was still in my merry mood. However, during my physics class, where Mrs. Anderson gave us a very difficult assignment (although, it wasn't as difficult for me because of my photographic memory), I realized that Bella Swan would need to cram just to catch up with the class.

A sudden dose of guilt filled me when I recalled why she was suspended in the first place: the she elaborately cheered on me on my game, and that it was probably due to her why we won.

I quashed these thoughts as soon as I had them, reminding myself that it wasn't my fault why she made such a huge spectacle just to cheer me on.

Come Wednesday, the merry mood had left me and was replaced by the boredom I was feeling over the mundane routine of my high school life.

Nothing was new: you get into class, wait until the bell signaling for lunch rings, go to class again, practice baseball after class, and then go home.

I was trying to pick out what brought on the change of my mood, but even though the answer was crystal clear, I still couldn't admit to myself that my bad mood was probably because I was missing the attention that Bella Swan usually showers to me.

Therefore, just like any huge, life-altering decisions that I've made before, I blamed it all to the weather.

Finally, an opportunity presented itself to me when I got home.

"Son, your father and I were thinking of going to the movies to watch this latest chick flick. The last time we had a date was already a week ago, so we think it's about time we have one again. We won't get back until tomorrow morning because you hate it when we're around after our date, claiming we make too much noise in showing our love – can't blame us if we could still do the vertical tango. Anyway, just take care of yourself while you're in here, and try not to burn the kitchen too much. Bye!"

Not too hard to guess, that was my mother speaking to me while she was inside her car, with my father on the driver's side, as soon as I got out of my own car.

She didn't even let me respond to her before they were gone, with them acting like two people who were still madly in love with each other.

Therefore, as I was mulling over what to do inside our empty house at five in the afternoon, a sudden thought occurred to me:

 _Maybe I could go to the Swans' house to give Bella a heads up on the assignment on our Physics class._

And before I would chicken out, I got inside my car again to drive to the Swans …

Of course, that was after I washed my face, changed into fresh clothes, brushed my teeth, combed (or try to comb) my tousled hair, changed into more suitable clothes, and then changed into another pair of clothes, sprayed some cologne, forgot to put deodorant so removed my shirt to put deodorant, and changed my shirt again.

It didn't take much time. Really.

The drive to the Swans wasn't a long one. Their house was right on the side of the main road, and it wasn't hard to find their address because everyone knows where the chief of police lives.

Once I was in their driveway, I chickened out again and contemplated turning my car around. However, I wasn't able to proceed with my plan as that was the exact time Bella's father got out of his cruiser. Just my luck, as soon as he got out of his car, his eyes immediately found me.

My heart was drumming like a plane turbine when he walked towards me to knock on my window. As I pressed the button on my car to roll the window down, I felt all blood leave my face.

"Son, why don't you come inside the house for us to have a chat," Chief Swan said in greeting with his intimidating voice.

My throat immediately felt parched.

"S-sir?" I uttered in my manliest voice – well, the manliest I could summon while facing the police chief of Forks.

"You're Edward Cullen, right?" He asked, looking at me as though he has a built-in bullshit detector on his head if I would try to bullshit him around.

As if I could.

As if anyone could.

"Yes, sir. Son of Esme and Dr. Carlisle Cullen, sir," was my best response.

I was briefly reminded of the scenes in Game of Chrones where a character would be introduced, such as:

 _I am Daenerys Stormbirth of the House Targerliang, the First of His Middle-Name, the Unburnt Burned, Queen of Meereen Streep, Queen of the Sandals and the Rock 'N Rhoynar and the First Women, Khaleesex of the Great Grass Red Sea, Breaker of Unbreakable Chains, and Mother of Dragons Egg._

Or something like that.

"Come out, boy. Let's have a chat."

"Yes sir."

I couldn't have said 'no' even if I wanted to.

I followed Chief Swan inside his house and we went directly upstairs to one of the rooms there, which seemed to be some sort of a second version of the study room of my father in our house.

 _Another horror story is yet to unfold with me as the lead_ , I thought wryly.

Chief Swan took the seat behind his table, and gestured for me to take the one on the other side. The set-up is starkly familiar to that of the principal's office.

He began by removing the gun from his belt and placing it on top of the table between us.

Seeing this action, I gulped, feeling as though the Sahara desert was currently existing in my throat.

"Edward Cullen, I know you were raised well by Dr. Cullen and your mother. I've met them briefly one time. They seem like decent people."

 _So far so good._

"However, we both know that my daughter had her eyes on you."

"I didn't even know why she does, sir," I responded with my uneasy smile.

A sudden look of fury crossed the chief's face, and I was immediately afraid for my life.

 _I hope my parents could find my body when Chief Swan will bury it into the woods._

"What? Are you saying there's something wrong with my daughter?"

"O-of course not, Chief Swan, sir. She's the best, sir. She's very decent, sir, and smart, sir, and genuine, sir," I blabbered, akin to a soldier answering the call of his commander.

"Damn right, she is, boy," the Chief grumbled; for now, appeased.

 _Phew. That was close._

"Isabella was raised lovingly into our family in a manner different than most traditional ones. We let her become who she wanted to be. My wife and I believes that a child should not be usurped her capabilities only because there are ground-rules in society. I know you are a smart kid – I already made a background check on you."

" _Already"? Jesus, do I have any other criminal records aside from my over-speeding tickets?_

As if reading my thoughts, the chief continued, "You should watch yourself better on the road."

I nodded like any good boy in front of the scary principal.

"So, because you are smart, I know that you already noticed how different my daughter is than most kids her age. She's the kind of girl who would prefer bungee-jumping over fishing any other day."

 _I don't doubt that for a second._

"She's a risk-taker. She is fearless."

 _I agree wholeheartedly._

"And when she wants something, she does whatever it takes to get it."

 _Don't I know it?_

At this point, the chief sat straighter to look at me with his razor-sharp eyes. I felt the weirdest sensation of shrinking in my seat.

"So, the only request I have of you is to never break her heart," the chief continued again, and this time, I finally felt the seriousness of his words.

"I don't know if you're already taken with her – it's not hard to like my girl, so I won't blame you – but if you aren't, at least be man enough to tell her and do not prolong her agony, only to give her pain at the end. Do not show her false attention, nor try to put her hopes up only to crush them.

I am allowing my daughter to be with whoever she wanted to be, but I make pretty damn sure she won't be treated like any other girl.

 _My_ daughter is a very precious girl, and it would do you good to remember that."

When Chief Swan said those things, the only reaction I could feel is the admiration for this father who would do whatever it takes to protect her daughter.

So as manly as I could – and by this time, it wasn't a false manliness – I nodded my head to him and said, "Yes, sir. I will never hurt your daughter."

He nodded at me, and resumed his stiff position to continue speaking.

"Bella is an intense child – well, she got that from me," at this, the chief couldn't help but smile, and I automatically smiled in response.

"She's stubborn, and self-driven, and loyal to the core. Again, those were from me.

But beneath those strong exterior, she's a sweet girl inside.

Like her mother, she's thoughtful, and decisive, and a lot scatter-brained."

At this, his smile grew wider, and I was nodding profusely, agreeing with every word that he was saying.

"She once hid from us that she was taking care of a colony of ants in her room. We only found out when those ants have travelled all the way down the living room, and when we saw that Bella was full of patches of red all over her skin."

"Why was she taking care of ants?" I asked in extreme curiosity.

"She said they were always looked down, and get killed, but they were the most industrious insects on the planet and no one takes care of them. She's strange like that. However, if you really think about it, you would see that her actions had sprung from a thoughtful and nurturing heart."

I nodded again; smiling amusedly as I imagined Bella Swan's antics.

"Bella says what's on her mind, and that could sometimes be scary."

 _Man, if I wasn't an unfortunate victim of her unfiltered mouth._

"She could also manipulate people through her tears, and when she does that, you can't say no to her. She is a lot like her mother on that aspect."

Once again, the Chief smiled fondly, and the love he has for his daughter and wife was evident in the crinkle at the end of his eyes.

"However, if there is one thing that I am really proud about my daughter, it's her one-track mind. Contrary to what people might think, she's a very smart girl, and when she is determined about something, she will utilize whatever technique or strategy that she could conjure to achieve it. That's why; I'm telling you again, if you like my girl, I wouldn't blame you. It's all part of her plan: it's hard not to fall for her when she's determined to make you fall.

That's why again, I tell you, Cullen: do not _ever_ break my baby girl's heart."

When Chief Swan said that, I couldn't help but admire his fierce love for his only daughter. It makes me want to be the same as him when I would have my own family.

I nodded my assent to the Chief, and this time, I finally chose to speak.

"I can understand sir, what you are trying to tell me. And I admit – your daughter scares me a lot. I don't know what to make of her.

However, this is what I promise to you sir: when I figure out what Bella is to me, I would immediately go through with it with my most honest intentions.

Quite frankly, I am not certain if I like her, or if I am developing feelings for her. But sir, I wanted for you to understand that the reason why I'm still not shutting her off of my life is because I wanted to make sure I wouldn't regret anything. I don't want to let her go yet if I wasn't a hundred percent sure it won't bite me in my ass."

Realizing what I've said, I immediately tucked in, "Sorry for my language, Sir."

"Don't worry about it," he then replied, gesturing for me to continue.

"But if I do fall for her, sir, I wanted you to know that I will protect her and cherish her like she should be. And as man to man, that is the only promise I could give right now."

The Chief seemed satisfied at the end of my speech, and there was a ghost of a smile in his face when he spoke next.

"I know what you did with your teammate Riley Biers in your game last time."

"S-sir?" I asked, surprised.

"Coach Clapp told me all about it. Do you usually get into these fights?"

Fueled by the reminder of the foul words of Riley Biers, my response was a little laden with acid.

"I don't get into fights, sir. I never had a reason before. That was the only time that I did, and it was because Bella Swan does not deserve whatever Riley Biers has maliciously commented about her."

He seemed to contemplate what I've said for a few moments, before he responded:

"That was a good thing you did there. Thank you."

I smiled a little egotistically at this.

"But again," he continued. Then he suddenly grabbed his gun and played with its trigger, saying, "If you hurt my daughter, I think you already know what I can do to you."

I gulped again; my previous anxieties resurfacing.

"Yes sir," I responded with my weak voice.

Just then, we heard the loud _bang_ of the study room's door after it was forcefully opened, and so we turned our heads to the source.

A mildly unkempt Bella Swan entered the room, looking as though she was searching for something.

"Dad, have you seen my polka-dots panty that you washed the other day? I'm looking for it everywhere but …"

And then, her gaze shifted to me, and a huge smile broke into her face – showing the kind of expression where it looked like crazy thoughts was running on her head.

"Edtard, you're here! I can't believe you visited me here!" She exclaimed in delight.

Still shocked, I automatically responded, "I-I was about to deliver our Physics assignment since I know we have the same teacher."

"Yay!" She exclaimed in delight once more.

Just then, Chief Swan thundered, "ISABELLA, why do you look like that? Didn't you at least take a shower for the day?"

Bella then turned her attention to her fuming father and replied a little irked, "I was about to – that's why I was looking for my panty. Why?"

"Then what's with your hair? Don't you at least own a brush? And why are you in your pajamas?"

"I fell asleep in my room because not going to school was boring without seeing Edward. What's wrong with that? You've never scolded me before for not showering."

"Well, take that damn shower immediately! You're embarrassing me!"

"Dad, that's very rude! I would tell mom about your cursing!"

"Tell her the damn well that I cursed a lot: I didn't raise such an unhygienic daughter."

"Fine! I would take a shower now. But for the record, I'm not unhygienic – I just look like this because I just woke up after I fell asleep."

Then, as though having a split personality, Bella suddenly turned her attention to me to sweetly say: "Don't go anywhere, my Edtard. I'll be quick – ten minutes will do. Fifteen minutes tops."

Then she winked at me before she was about to leave the room.

Right when she was at the door, her father was able to yell, "AND WIPE THAT DAMNED DROOL FROM YOUR FACE!"

When the tornado that is Bella Swan has finally left the room, Chief Swan turned to me with a slightly embarrassed expression, before saying, "You can just wait for her in the living room."

I nodded, and replied, "Yes sir."

He nodded as well.

Right at the door, I heard him grumble:

" _Telling him that she's a precious girl, and then she shows up looking like that... What embarrassment would she bring me next …?"_

* * *

 **BPOV**

I couldn't believe dad was embarrassed of me when he constantly tells me that I am his precious girl!

Dad was acting weird when I walked into him talking to my Edtard in his faux-study room (when it was really a spare room he sleeps in when he and mom gets into their childish fights). I was suspecting they were having a man-to-man talk, and it was probably the "Spanish Inquisition" my father had told me about, but seriously, why would it matter to him if I hadn't taken a bath yet? When my Edtard and I will finally be married, he'd see me every day looking like that anyway, so a little practice wouldn't have hurt.

After ten minutes of showering, and five minutes of putting clothes on and drying my hair with the blower (and a minute of spacing out on my room), I finally descended downstairs to see my Edtard freaking out as he sat with my mom on the couch.

I knew Renee was already scaring the shit out of my future man, so I immediately got into action to stop whatever nightmare she was imposing to my poor man.

"Mom, what the hell are you doing with Edtard?"

"Language, Isabella!" She immediately scolded me, but just as fast, her expression returned to a gloating one. "You should have told me the guy you dedicated your poem to was this hot! I can't wait to see my grandkids already!"

My Edtard visibly shuddered.

"Mom, I already told you. Remember? I told you he was 'hot as a lava hot'. We even fell to the floor because you were making your castle of cheesecake and had the brilliant idea to put soap in my mouth."

Edtard looked utterly confused with what I've said – to him, it probably made no sense.

Mom looked even more confused than Edtard, if that was possible.

"I thought I was in Disney Land that time."

 _Yup. Definitely confused._

"Forget it then. Just bring us some drinks and snacks. We'll be working on our assignment."

"Right," she agreed, easily manipulated. "I'll come right back."

And then, to my utter horror, she gave my Edtard a searing kiss into his cheeks. Renee giggled in delight, while Edtard looked flabbergasted.

"Go, mom, please."

Still giggling, she finally scuffled away, allowing me the chance to finally take her seat.

"I'm sorry about mom," I told my Edtard the moment I sat beside him. "She's just like a kid sometimes. She likes hot guys."

"I've noticed," he mumbled, finally regaining his composure. "By the way, I was just planning to deliver the Physics assignment to you. I wasn't planning to stay and _do_ the assignment with you. 'Cause, you know, you got suspended from school because you cheered on me in our game."

"Oh, nonsense! Since you're already here, stay a longer more. I'll give a call to Esme and Carlisle – I got their number in my phone."

I was already reaching out for my phone when Edtard suddenly grabbed my hand to stop me.

I turned my head to see him looking very alarmed.

"No! You don't have to. I'll – err – I'll stay with you until we finish the assignment."

I couldn't help but smile back.

"Cool! I'll just tell mom we'll go to my room."

"But …" he tried to protest, but I was already dragging his sexy ass upstairs.

"Mom!" I then called out as we climb the steps up to my room, "Edtard and I will do our assignments on my room!"

"Be safe, honey!" was my mother's malicious reply. Because Edtard was very smart, he immediately understood the meaning of my mother's words and turned beet red.

"Mom, we will _do the assignment_ , not _do each other_ , alright?!"

"Okay. Condoms aren't that safe, but they're better than nothing!"

 _Geez. My mom's got a dirty mind._

When Edtard and I finally reached my room, he immediately took a scan inside as I placed all our crap on top of my bed.

I instantly felt the sudden shift of the air between us, as though it morphed into one filled with static electricity.

Feeling awkward, I did the only thing I could think of … which was to dance my salsa dance.

When Edtard noticed me, he instantly looked confused.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as he took a seat on my study chair.

"Flying to the moon," was my smart-ass replied.

He looked more puzzled, so I gave in and said, "I'm dancing," while continuing my salsa moves.

"Why?" he asked, still looking at me curiously.

"Because I could feel the sexual tension between us, and I'm feeling out of my zone," was my immediate reply.

He suddenly had a coughing fit.

"So, assignments," I reminded him, finally stopping my dance moves.

 _Gee, it didn't help at all. He was still looking very hot._

"Right." He nodded, taking out his physics book and his notes where the problems for the assignments were written.

He handed his notes to me, and I took a quick scan of the questions, and immediately shrugged.

"This won't take thirty minutes," I said, feeling very confident.

He arched one of his eyebrows at me.

"Really? That's usually very difficult for others."

I shrugged nonchalantly as I answered, "Not to me. I like Math, Science and English – well, that's if it wasn't being taught by Sourpuss Banner. That teacher has no skill in teaching his subject. I usually suck at History, because the teachers were boring, but I'm good with other subjects."

He looked at me as though I've grown wings.

"If you think about it – how come I still have good grades if I always land my ass on detention, or if I always get suspended, right? I have good brains, that's why."

I tapped my temple for extra effect.

Laughter broke out of him.

"What?" I demanded.

"Nothing. Just learning new things," he replied, looking very amused. "So, if the assignment is very easy, what do you suggest we do instead?"

I felt myself smile hugely in response.

"How about you teach me how to kiss?"

He had a coughing fit again, and I was a little concerned if he's developing a thyroid cancer.

"What?" He asked when the coughing fit ended.

"Teach me how to kiss. I hadn't reached first base yet. Kiss me."

Looking very alarmed, he scanned my room, lingering on the bed, before he shook his head at me.

"No. I don't think so. Especially not at this place. And not with Chief Swan just the next room. And not before we become a couple."

I instantly pouted – _what a party pooper._

Then he shot me his panty-melting crooked smile.

Then it suddenly felt so hot I thought I'd suffocate.

To break the awkwardness between us, he took a few steps to sit beside me on my bed as he continued scanning my room. It made me a little self-conscious.

 _Do I have any clatter in my room, like discarded panties, or used pads, or dirty shirts …?_

It seemed like nothing was out of place, except for the usual scattered books on the floor, or the solar system on my ceiling, or the graffiti of stars on my wall, or the posters of peanuts, or my life-sized cardboard of Ed Sheeran beside my bed.

Everything seemed perfectly normal to me.

"So, you really like Ed Sheeran, huh?" He commented as he reached for the poster, and I took a secret whiff of him.

 _Fuck, he smells so good, like mint!_

"What are you doing?" He then asked in alarm, and I realized that my secret whiffing wasn't so secret at all, because I was already burying my face onto his back.

I promptly snapped out of my dazed stupor, enough to answer him, "Nothing! I was just planning to categorize the different scents of people, like the hot ones, or the cute ones, or the nerd ones, or the Edtard ones …" I blabbered, looking everywhere but his face.

I heard him laugh again, and it made me feel a little peeved.

"You're cute," he then said after his laughter died down, and I was easily pacified.

Edtard and I spent hours talking about our childhood (and me thinking of fifty ways of doing him in my bed while my parents were downstairs).

I learned about his rascals of brothers, and I was immediately green with envy because he has such a big family. He talked about his life in Alaska, and his hobbies like the piano, and his classical books, and his music. He talked about how he was conceived by his mother accidentally, and that is why he was hesitant to connect with people so easily.

 _He was so sexy talking about his childhood – his mouth was opening and closing, and his Adam's apple was bobbing, and his jaw was so sharp..._

I talked about the dares I've accomplished: how one time I got a dare from Rosalie to go to school wearing the bridal's dress, and the next day the groom's; how I would go to class during grade school wearing my pajamas; how many times I've caught mom and dad _doing it_ at the kitchen table (which brought the awkwardness back between us, and a little air of repulsiveness); how the other kids wouldn't play with me before because I was very different compared to them, and only Alice would play with me; and many more.

 _And the way he would run his hands on his hair, and I was wishing I was doing it … and how it would taste to lick his abs, maybe he'd taste better than chocolates …_

Time flew so fast that I wish I could have a talk with the one who invented time to give him a piece of my mind. I'd tell him not to make it run so fast when I'm with Edtard, or bribe him, or talk about life. It must be interesting to talk about life with time – he'd probably have all the time in the world...

Too soon, my mother was already hugging him goodbye (and pinching his sexy ass – causing me to scold her and for Edtard to look totally scared of her), my father was looking at him with a very serious expression on his face, and we're already walking towards his car.

"Bye, Bella. I'll see you at school," he said as he waved at me when we finally reached his sexy car.

 _Gee, even his car looks so hot._

"Bye Edtard. Thanks for Physics."

 _Thank heavens for Physics!_

"No prob," he said with his crooked smile, and my girly bits instantly jumped for joy.

Just as he turned away to get into his car, I instantly held into his arm to turn him back to me.

And then, with his eyes growing ten-inches wider, I smacked my lips to his surprised mouth.

When I let him go, he blinked consecutively in shock.

"Bye Edtard! Love you!"

And when I turned away from him, I heard him yell furiously at me, "It's _Edward_!"

But all I could think of was:

 _In your face, Tanya Denali!_

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm feeling very chatty. Forgive me.

I once took care of a colony of ants, so that bit about Bella taking care of the poor, usually ignored ants was based from experience.

What's the weirdest thing you'd ever done?


	6. Chapter 5: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

**CHAPTER 5: SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE**

 **BPOV**

Because I have promised to get even with Tanya Denali after she had taken advantage of my poor man on the baseball game, I came to school early on Thursday and waited for her and her car. Once her car rolled into the student parking, I noticed that it looked like an expensive one, making me all the more thrilled of what I was planning to do.

And when she got out of her car, and the bell rang for first period, I executed my ingenious plan.

I was surprised when she immediately caught on to me at lunch.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" I heard the loud voice of Tanya Denali while I was looking for my love at the canteen.

When I realized he wasn't around, my dismay was immediate.

"Isabella, don't pretend you can't hear me!" Tanya yelled at me, though she was just a foot apart from me.

Therefore, it was only common courtesy to yell back.

"What's your problem, Blondie Big Butt?!"

She was pointing her finger at me when she yelled, "Why did you flatten my tires?!"

Of course, a great thief does not reveal it was him who did the thieving, so I responded with:

"Do you have a proof that it was me who did that?!"

"No one would have done it except for you! I'm the most popular girl – everybody loves me!"

I swear I saw smokes emitting from her reddened angry ears.

"You're wrong! A lot of girls hate you because you're pretty hot!"

I realized too late that I shouldn't have complimented my nemesis. However, Tanya's response assured me that I didn't put my foot in my mouth after all.

"Thank you!" She exclaimed.

With what she had said, I felt that again, it was common courtesy to exclaim back, "You're welcome!"

"But really, it was you, wasn't it?!"

 _Was she really this loud? Gee, talk about needing hearing aid after this yelling fest was over._

So, to stop her high-pitched screeching, and to save my ears because they're useful to me in hearing the voice of my Edtard, I relented:

"Fine! Yes it was me!"

I then placed both my hands on my waist in a defensive stance.

"Fine!"

She copied my stance.

We spent a few more moments sizing each other up – and arching our backs for our boobs to pop out – before we both turned away from each other in a snubbing gesture.

When the school ended, I was walking to my beastly Chevy truck I call "At" (so that when her names were combined, she'll be called At-Truck … which Rose and Alice claimed was not in my usual smart-ass humor) I stopped on my tracks (get that? "Tracks"? Heek heek …) to find that …

… _One of my tires was completely missing_.

And all I could say was, "Fuck that smart thieving bitch."

On Friday, I was becoming increasingly worried when I didn't see Edtard's sexy car in Forks High's student parking lot, and only the old, boring, grandma vehicles were winking at my Attruck. Because of this, I did the only thing that I could do to feel calmer.

I bribed one of the students to do something to Tanya.

Tanya was less than pleased when she caught up to me on third period.

"Isabella Swan, why the hell would you choose these words to be pasted at my back?!"

Again, she was using the pitch only dogs could hear.

I was tempted to bark back at her.

I might have done three barks … I'm not really sure.

Oh, right, I was having another yelling fest with Tanya.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" I finally yelled back, while I refused to look at the piece of paper she was holding on her hand.

"' _Free kiss to Tanya Denali – Forks High's most popular girl?'_ " she quoted, fuming with her anger. "I appreciate you claiming that I am popular, but why the hell would you choose 'Free Kiss'?! Do you have any idea how many times I've gone to the ladies room to wash off the gross saliva of boys and girls that got stuck at my face and lips?! Twelve times! Twelve fucking times in just three hours! And no one told me there was something at my back!"

 _Couldn't blame her for not noticing – it wasn't a big piece of paper. But, gee, twelve people in three hours? That's more than what I expected_. _I should have rewarded Lee Connors more than the copy of my "I Wanna Marry Edtard" that I gave to him._

 _Wait, did I just whore myself to him?_

Amidst my inner monologue of my whoring to Lee Connors, I forgot altogether where I was or that Tanya was actually expecting a response from me.

When I blinked back to the present, it took all of me not to yell in fright when the first thing that I saw was her angry, scrunched up face.

"Now, what, Swan? Are you still going to deny it?!"

Again, like yesterday, I placed my hands on my waist, and in my periphery, I was noticing that we were attracting attention from the student body.

As if that was a new thing.

"Fine! I bribed Lee Connors to put that on your back! Happy now?!"

"Fine!" She yelled back; again, copying my stance.

"Fine!" I yelled back as well – just to have the last word.

Same as with yesterday, we sized each other up, and arched our backs for our breasts to inch higher, before we turned away snubbing at each other.

On fourth period, I was meticulous in looking over my back, afraid that Tanya would secretly tape words to me, but there was nothing.

However, a guy – with bad perm and braces, and who looked like he'd never seen a boob in real life, which got me tempted to flash him my tits just to make his day – suddenly started tickling me.

To my horror, this continued on until lunch.

When I cornered Rosalie before going to Bio (after I kicked the broom's closet door open to walk in on her practically having sex with her boyfriend Emmett), I asked her if she knew why people were tickling me whenever they would see me. (I might have also demanded for her to tell me the brand of that panty she had on because it looked great on her ass …)

Slightly irritated at me, Rosalie told me to check my Facebook. (And told me she had on Victoria's secret.)

At my confusion (because, damned, I didn't know I had created a Facebook account – maybe it was my fame-whore alter ego who did that), she pushed on my hands her phone and kicked me out of her and her boyfriend's make-shift hotel room so that she could continue grinding her ass at Emmett.

I was a bit tempted to shove a dollar to her for the free show that I've witnessed.

When I left her to finally check her phone, and went to Facebook to search my name, my surprise was immediate (and I tell you, it wasn't that easy to surprise this girl). Because I found out that there was an account of me with my ugliest picture taken that says, "I want free tickles. The best tickle will win my first base."

And again, all I could say was, "Fuck that smart cunning bitch."

My worry was still in place when it was time for Bio because Edtard was clearly MIA for the second day, so I sent a text message to my future in-law, while kicking myself because I hadn't thought about that sooner.

After just five seconds, my ringtone of a loud fart drew attention from the entire room.

I think Sourpuss Banner was reprimanding me or something – I didn't care to check.

I picked it up after being confused for at least ten seconds thinking someone was actually farting.

"Hello, mom," I answered once I saw that it was Esme who was calling me.

" _Bella, my future daughter-in-law, Edward is sick that's why he was not at school. I was certain I gave a call to your principal. Why didn't he tell you?"_

Hearing that, I instantly stood from my chair, and Sourpuss was yelling something to me again. And again, I chose to ignore him.

"I'm coming there, Esme. Wait for a few minutes."

I then hanged up the phone and started putting my crap back inside my bag.

"Ms. Swan," I registered Sourpuss was saying to me in a stern tone, "where do you think you're going at the middle of my class?"

"I'm walking on sunshine," was my smart-ass reply as I put my rainbow-colored pencil case in my backpack's pocket, which I also noticed was containing my used bubblegum from last week.

 _I thought I already threw that in the can … oh well._

"What?" Sourpuss replied, sounding confused and frustrated.

"Fine. I really don't know what the use of your teaching license is if you can't understand what I'm doing. I'm ditching your boring class – my love is sick at home and I need to come to him."

"Ms. Swan, the only place you're going right now –"

I cut him off before he was finished with his overused sentence.

"Yes, yes, I know, I know, I'm going to detention. Right. Tell Ms. Cope, the detention lady, I'll bring her favorite Ferrero Rocher on Monday when I get back. Okay, bye!"

"MS. SWAN IF YOU THINK I WON'T CALL YOUR FATHER …"

And before he was finished with his unthreatening-threat, I was gone.

It only took fifteen minutes for me to drive towards Edtard's house, and the moment I step foot inside the house, Esme immediately gave me a tight hug. After the usual pleasantries, I recalled my purpose for coming, and I started freaking out.

"What's wrong with him? How is he? Is he dying? Oh my gosh, he can't die before we do the deed! I need to have his children to remember me by …"

Then I heard a loud groan from upstairs, followed by a chorus of screamed profanities:

"MOTHERFUCKING HOT IN THE FUCKING DAY! I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING AVOIDED THE GOD-FORSAKING FUCKING PLACE! MOTHERFUCKING HOT SOUP WASN'T FUCKING HELPING THE FUCK OUT …"

I was quiet for a beat as I associated the familiar voice with the unfamiliar words.

When I recovered, I turned my attention to Esme to find her looking very embarrassed.

"Is that …?" I asked, having a hard time finishing the thought.

She nodded with a little tint on her cheeks.

"Edward gets a little … expressive … when he's sick. Don't worry about him too much – he's just running a fever because of his colds. He'll get better. Carlisle had already checked on him."

"Oh," was my clever response.

"I FUCKING SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE FUCK OUT OF THE FUCKING HOUSE THE MOMENT I FUCKING STEPPED FOOT IN THE FUCKING PLACE! FUCK, NOW I'M FUCKING HOT ALL OVER …"

Still looking embarrassed, Esme told me in a small voice, "Maybe you should leave after all …"

"No," I immediately cut her off. "I'll stay with him. For better or for worse, remember? This is nothing once we get married."

My future mother-in-law looked like she would be in tears with what I've said.

"MOTHERFUCKER …"

"I'll go up," I told Esme, before facing the other version of the love of my life.

* * *

 **EPOV**

Motherfucking love of the fucking life. Jesus Christ, I shouldn't have fucking gone to the God-forsaking fucking house of the fucking Swan. I should have fucking stayed as a fucking jerk, and tried not to fucking cunt fuck asshole fuck …

* * *

 **BPOV**

During my stay at the Cullens, I tried everything that I could to assist Esme with the sick Edward. I helped her cook soup, fed Edward, helped her change his clothes (while I secretly took an inventory of his impressive abs – six packs!), wiped his forehead, and tried not to think of doing him while he was sick, which I think was the most helpful of all.

Too soon, it was already seven in the evening.

Esme and I had a mother-daughter bonding over supper as she talked about Edtard as a child, and how gentle and caring he was. We had the impressive background noise of Edtard's continued string of profanities throughout her story. After eating, Esme won the best future mother-in-law award to me when she told me she had called my home to excuse me for the night.

When ten in the evening rolled out, I was adamant to stay at Edtard's side, so Esme called my home for the second time to tell Renee I would be staying at their place for the night, assuring her I would be in a separate room. My stingy mother advised Esme to bolt my door with the biggest lock she could find as she was sure I would crawl to Edtard's room as soon as I knew everyone was asleep. Esme told her that she would lock me up, but she had winked at me when she said this, so I knew that she was actually spelling bullshit to my mother.

I smiled back at her. After all, what Renee doesn't know wouldn't kill her.

Consequently, I stayed at Edtard's side for the entire night, and at around nine, his profanities had finally subsided. Esme, together with Carlisle who was fresh from his work, finally took a sleep in their room, leaving their weak boy defenseless to me.

So, at around midnight, I was ogling Edtard as he snores quietly, and was having not so decent thoughts about him, when suddenly …

"Bella …" Edtard moaned, and I looked at him to see his slightly-opened eyes staring right at me.

 _God, even if he's sick, he still looks delicious. How is that possible, whereas whenever I would wake up from my sleep, I look like a nightmare?_

 _Wait, he called out my name, and his eyes were open, which means …_

"Oh, Edtard, you finally can recognize me! How many fingers am I holding out?" I responded in glee, while showing him three fingers.

He groaned a little, before trying to sit from his bed. I helped him up as he seemed to have difficulty moving.

"Here, what do you need? Do you need to go to the toilet…?"

He suddenly cut me off by saying, "Bella, you told me to kiss you, right?"

 _When? Oh, that day he was in my room._

"Yes, of course. But you know what? It's probably not ideal to kiss you when you're sick …"

"I want you."

...

 _Oh God._

My mouth popped open.

"Now?" I asked; alarmed; delighted; scared.

He licked his lips as he stared at me.

Just then …

"Ough!"

I didn't have time to protest as suddenly, Edtard had pinned me between his body and his bed.

While I was in the disadvantaged position of being beneath him, Edtard then slowly casted his eyes to my lips, and I felt myself moisten … down… there …

And then, very, very seductively, he smiled his crooked smile.

My breast inched higher in response.

"Are you going to do this right now?" I asked him with a small voice.

 _Oh God, yes please, yes please, say yes, please._

" _Isabella_ ," he spoke in his sexiest voice ever – low and slow – and I felt all his weight fall to my body.

 _This was hot. His temperature is hot, and what he was doing is hot._

"Ed-Edward," I croaked, slipping into using his real name.

" _Bella,"_ he whispered, like an answer, as he looked into my lips.

Just then, Ed _w_ ard started inching his face to mine …

I closed my eyes, waiting for his lips …

…

…

…

 _What was taking so long?_

…

…

…

 _Dammit, I should be tasting his lips by now and having my first kiss!_

…

…

…

When nothing seemed to be happening, I finally opened my eyes to see what was wrong.

When I did, I immediately groaned in frustration.

"Edward! How can you pass out at this most important moment?" I cried with my eyes misting a little in my disappointment.

I then casted my misty eyes to his face, which was burrowed in my chest, and I could hear quiet snores coming out of him.

I groaned more in dissatisfaction.

"No! Wake-up, Edward! You should be kissing me, and not passing out on my boobs!"

However, he was still unmoving.

So in my fury and disappointment, I kicked him in his balls as I pushed him away from me to get up from his bed. The stupid boy yelped in pain, before staying unconscious.

I didn't care – he could hurt all he wants when he wakes up.

The last thought I had before I left him to go to my separate room was, _dammit, that was so close!_

* * *

 **EPOV**

 _Dammit, why are my balls hurting?_

When I woke up in my room, the first thought I had was the aching of my balls, as though someone had kicked me there while I was unconscious.

But how could that be possible? I was at home for two days because of my fever.

Still slightly disoriented, I forced myself to go to my bathroom, which was adjacent to my room, and took a shower. I groaned a little as I soaped my balls, wondering why the hell they were aching,

After my shower, I brushed my teeth and got ready for the day.

In my room, I noticed the remnants of the materials utilized while I was sick: an ice-pack, basil of water with a cloth, medicines and a thermometer and a glass of water on my table, and a steamer. While I was putting my clothes on, I couldn't help but wonder why they weren't put back into their rightful places. I know Esme is meticulous when it comes to her things.

Then thoughts of the time I was sick resurfaced in my mind, and I recalled who took care of me while I was sick.

Oh God.

I took two stairs at a time as I ran downstairs after realizing what happened the day before. Once there, my suspicions were confirmed.

Bella Swan was sitting next to my parents in the dining room, clearly having breakfast. Her hair was wet, looking as though she had freshly showered, and she had on her P.E. uniform. When she noticed my presence at the stairs, she glanced at me with resentful eyes before she returned her attention to my parents.

 _What was that about?_

I took a few steps closer to them to ask Bella why she had stared at me like that, when I recognized that there was another person in the dining room.

Registering who she was, my eyes grew in more surprise.

Because that person was Tanya Denali.

 _What the fuck is happening?_

"Edward," my mother called out to me, snapping me out of my stupor. "How are you feeling son?"

"Better," I responded, "though I am hurting …" I then trailed off, realizing that I couldn't possibly discuss my "problem" to my mother, much less in front of this audience.

"What was that, son?"

"Nothing. What are Bella and Tanya doing here?"

My mother casted a fond smile to Bella, who smiled at her in return, as she explained, "Bella here spent the whole day and night taking care of you while you were sick. Isn't she the loveliest, son?"

"Oh," was my ingenious response. "And Tanya?"

The change in my mother's expression was obvious when she turned her gaze at Tanya, who smiled at her uneasily.

"This girl here – what was your name again?"

"Tanya," Tanya responded, trying to maintain her smile.

"Right. Tanya here thought to visit you today because you were sick. Take a seat, son, so you could join us for lunch."

 _Great. I could smell disaster with this breakfast thing even at this early hour._

As my mother had ordered, I joined them in the table, choosing the seat next to hers. However, seeing this, my mother shook her head to me and told me in a stern voice, "Not here, son. Take the seat next to Bella. She deserves to at least sit beside you after all the trouble she went through with you last night."

At this, I stood in compliance – somehow resolved to the fate that I could never say no to my mother, especially if it was concerning Bella Swan – when suddenly, Bella shook her head to Esme and sweetly said:

"No, Esme. Let him stay beside you. I'm fine here."

 _Al-right? Where the hell is the usual "Edtard"-clingy Bella?_

Carlisle cleared his throat to break the awkward tension, and then asked, "So, Tanya, what does your parents do?"

Tanya finished drinking her milk before responding, "My father owns the Denali Construction Firm in Port Angeles, and my mother is an interior designer."

"Oh," Esme commented, "I couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for your parents to juggle taking care of you while they're working."

"It wasn't that hard," Tanya answered, while Esme kept her doubtful look. "My mother works at home, so she can manage taking care of me and still do her work."

"I see. That's great. You see, Bella here has her mom take care of her full-time, that's why she's so lovely and polite."

She then fondly shot a smile to Bella. I bit into my toast uneasily.

"Mom's like a kid," Bella answered, unaware of Esme's intent for singling her out. "I take care of her most of the time than she takes care of me."

"Oh, you're very independent Bella. That's very good practice for your future family."

 _What the hell?_

"Not really," Bella answered, still ignorant to what my mom was doing. "I mostly mess up anyway, and get into childish fights with her. My dad has to wear his cop badge to break us up … one too many times."

Again, as though Esme could never find fault at Bella, she laughed before saying, "You'd be a great mom! You could be childish when needed, and that is helpful when playing with your future kid."

"Really?" Bella smiled gleefully at Esme.

"Really," Esme smiled back.

 _Great, Esme strikes again._

"Bella," I then called out, "Can you please pass me the jam?"

However, to my utter surprise, Bella turned her glaring eyes at me and said in a spiteful tone, "Why don't you reach it yourself?" before taking a bite of her omelet.

 _Seriously, what the hell is going on?_

Once more, Carlisle cleared his throat to break the awkward tension.

"Tanya, what are your plans after high school?"

At this, Tanya smiled kindly at Carlisle as she responded, "I was planning to major in Marketing. Or possibly Engineering. I wanted to take over my dad's business after College, so I think those courses would help me achieve my goals. My scores in SATs are high enough for me to enroll in any school of my choosing."

"Wow, that's impressive," my dad remarked, looking genuinely amazed.

Tanya blushed from the compliment.

However, my mother once again shot Tanya her doubtful look as she said, "I think it would be more challenging for people to try their luck at other companies first to gain more experience in their field, rather than instantly taking over an already established business after their graduation, don't you think? By doing so, you can be more familiar with all your potentials instead of going in blindly."

Tanya stayed smiling at Esme as she replied, "Thank you for that advice. I would consider it."

My mother nodded, before turning her attention to Bella who, by then, had her mouth full.

"Bella, dear, how about you? What are your plans after graduation?"

Bella turned a surprised face to my mother, before she swallowed the food in her mouth with a gulp from her milk.

"I'm not sure. I have high SATs, I guess. But I hadn't thought about it yet. Maybe I'd play darts at home and see where it would land."

She shrugged nonchalantly, and I was sure she wasn't kidding at all.

"Oh, you're so adventurous! Sometimes in life, you've got to take a leap of faith. Too much calculated moves will make it dull."

 _My mother isn't obvious at all with her preference._

Tanya then caught our attentions when she suddenly exclaimed, "Oh, before I forget, I brought Edward a special lemon juice." She then reached for her bag located on the floor beside her seat, and retrieved a big blue mug. "I drink this when I have colds, or when I am trying to recover from fever. It's really effective for faster recovery."

She then handed me the mug, and I replied, "Thank you. This is so thoughtful of you."

"You're welcome," she said with another shy smile.

"That's really thoughtful, Tanya," my mother again interjected, plastering the fakest smile I'd ever seen on her.

"Although, son," she continued, turning her attention to me, "I'd like to remind you that Bella here stayed for a whole night just to take care of you. Now _that's_ thoughtful, don't you think?"

"Err, right," I responded awkwardly.

She looked at me as though she was expecting something more.

"Err, yes, um, Bella," I then turned my head towards Bella, who was deliberately ignoring us, "Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help."

The only response I got from her was her icy glare.

 _Now, really, what the hell did I do to her?_

We then all relapsed to the weirdest, most awkward breakfast set-up in the world.

Once Tanya said her goodbyes to us – giving me a polite hug and telling me to get well soon, while my mother gave her a _very brief_ hug – Bella excused herself, telling us she will retrieve her things in her room.

I was puzzled by her odd behavior, and I wanted to know why she was clearly being cold to me.

With this purpose, I told my mother I would help Bella pack.

Esme smiled a huge smile at me saying she will be going to the market, before dragging my unsuspecting father with her. I immediately knew that at that instant, I jumped towards her second most favorite person in the world (of course Bella had the first spot).

Once Esme and Carlisle were gone, which only took a minute of getting into their car and waving me a goodbye, I walked upstairs to Bella's room.

There, I knocked three times outside her door. When I didn't hear a response, I turned her knob to come inside her room without her permission.

As I expected, once I was inside, Bella continued to ignore me as she packed her things.

I locked the door before I spoke.

"Alright, tell me what's happening."

"Nothing's happening, aside from the Earth revolving, and time running, and people doing stuff," was her sarcastic reply.

 _Oh, now I know what it feels to be on the receiving end of her smart-ass words. It was vexing._

"Bella, you've been avoiding me the whole breakfast, and when you needed to interact with me, you would glare at me instead. _Something_ is happening right now."

"The air is circulating, and the temperature is changing, and somewhere in Antarctica, a polar bear needs more ice."

 _Alright, that's it._

Fueled with my need to have her complete attention, I strode towards her, only stopping until I was in her personal space. When she still tried to ignore me, I turned her around by holding onto her arms to face me. She tried to fight me, but I was having none of it.

I then forced her to look at me by gently turning her chin towards me. When she finally did after a few attempts to turn her head away from me, I stared right at her eyes to ask her, "What happened?"

She arched her jaw in stubbornness. I arched my eyebrow, daring her to respond.

After a few moments of charged atmosphere, she finally cracked.

"You curse a lot when you're sick."

 _Oh. Right. I do that._

"Was that why you were angry with me? Did I curse at you?"

She gritted her teeth, but she answered, "No".

"Then, what else?"

"You also don't continue with your plan."

 _What plan?_

"What do you mean?"

Looking at me as though it was taking everything from her to say the words, she responded, "You told me you would kiss me. You started kissing me."

"Were you angry because I kissed you without your consent?"

Another stubbornness shot through her again as she answered, "No."

Growing more confused, I asked, "Then what?"

She bit her lip, and took a few seconds, before she finally responded.

"I was angry because you didn't. You passed out on me when you were about to kiss me."

Oh. Now I get it.

She thought I didn't want her.

It was amazing how instantaneous the relief was that had coursed through me the moment that I realized she didn't lose her feelings for me.

Actually, it was easy to analyze what was bugging her:

She was thrilled to finally have the first kiss that she'd been dreaming of having with me, but when I didn't continued on, she got mad. Then, because I passed out before I actually kissed her, she started feeling unwanted and her female ego got hurt.

I couldn't help the smug smirk that broke on my face when I realized this.

"Did you somehow hit me in the balls because of that?"

She looked down, as a blush broke onto her lovely cheeks.

"I kicked you in the balls because I got angry."

"Don't you think I should reciprocate?"

At my words, she looked back at me in alarm as she said, "What the fuck? Are you fucking tell me you'd hit a girl?"

And that – her cursing – was the only thing I needed to hear before I was crushing my lips to her surprised mouth.

The moment I placed my lips on her, I was immediately alerted by the fact that for the first time in my life, I was the one who was giving a shock to Bella Swan, and not the other way around.

I felt her stiffen, and her mouth hadn't moved from my perusal.

So, to elicit a response from her, I slightly bit her lower lip, and I placed my arms around her waist to push her hard against me.

At this, Bella Swan finally sprang back to life, and _damned if she didn't kiss me back with a vengeance_.

Her hands shot towards my hair, and she placed one of her legs around my waist.

To support her weight, one of my hands traveled down to her thigh to hold her butt there.

 _Jesus, I thought they were only big, but now I know they were huge!_

She then placed her other leg around mine and I supported all her weight by holding onto her other butt.

With our new position, I felt her chest pressed to me, and my body responded naturally as I felt the most painful but pleasurable tightening on my pants.

Kissing Bella Swan was making me harder than having sex had before.

As our tongues fought for dominion – hers were sucking mine – I could feel her grinding herself on me, making me hiss in pleasure. I could feel how hot she was at her center, and I felt my member throb in response.

 _Fuck, if she wasn't making me harder than ever._

Still holding her pressed tightly against me, I walked a few stops to pin her to the wall. This new angle allowed me to travel my hands towards her front, until I was able to grab one of her boobs. I palmed her breast, and thumbed her hardened nipple, before feeling that I was losing my air from our continued kissing.

At this, I finally removed my mouth from her with a hiss, and she tugged on my hair harder.

The moment I opened my eyes, I was greeted with the most beautiful face of Bella Swan flushed from her desire and need. She was like a goddess to me.

Still grasping her boob, I tried to talk while groaning a little, "We should stop."

"No, no," she spoke breathlessly, and damned, if it wasn't the sexiest voice I ever heard.

"We should. I don't want to take all your first time in one go."

"What the fuck, Edward? How can you stop?"

She sounded needy; and to be honest, it felt impossible to stop.

"Bella, I'll put you down now."

It felt painful to even remove my hand from her boob.

 _Damned it, I wanted to take her on my mouth!_

It felt even more painful when I extricated her legs from around me.

And it was even more painful when I looked back at her needy face.

 _Goddammit, she wanted more, and damned if I didn't want to give her more._

"Don't be disappointed," I tried to coax her – or myself, I wasn't so sure.

"I'm not. That's the hottest fucking thing ever for a first kiss."

I couldn't help but smile smugly in response. When the hottest girl to ever walk in the planet tells you that you, stealing her first kiss, was the "hottest fucking thing ever", there could never be a better compliment to feed your ego than that.

And because I could do it, I kissed her again – but sweetly this time.

When we separated, I caressed her face as I said, "I'll leave you to your packing then."

She looked confused, and she looked adorable with her pouty expression.

"Wait, are we a couple yet?"

 _Wait, what?_

 _Wasn't that obvious already? Didn't I tell her I'll only kiss her when we're officially together? I don't kiss a girl like that and pretend nothing happened. I own responsibility afterwards._

 _Didn't she already know that about me?_

"What do you think?" I asked her, gauging her reaction.

She didn't disappoint.

"I mean, I was packing my bag, and then you started hypnotizing me with that God's heavenly gift of crooked smile to unsuspecting hormonal women, and then you came into me, and then you kissed me, and then my body had a mind on its own as it started riding you like it belonged to some wanton women than from a virginal one, and then, God, you stopped! And …"

Because she was blabbering and hardly making sense, I did the only thing that I could to stop her.

I kissed her again.

Quick and soft.

Once we broke apart, I smiled "crookedly" at her again as I thought about riling her up a little.

Therefore, I responded with, "I don't know Bella, if we're a couple. Maybe we are," I kissed her jaw, and I could smell the fragrance of her soap, "Or maybe not," I whispered as I kissed the area below her ear, making her tremble.

I chuckled as I went off, leaving her with a flustered and confused expression in her room.

This is going to be interesting.

* * *

 **A/N:** Tell me if you want me to write Bella's take on her first kiss, or if I should just proceed with the story. If I write BPOV of this, the lines will be repeated, but of course we'll hear Bella's thoughts about it. I honestly am unsure about this, so help me. The majority of votes will win. *Wink wink*

Also, of course, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the chapter, especially the Bella-Tanya "fight" and the breakfast, and the kiss (of course).

THANKS!


	7. Chapter 6: Kiss of Death

**CHAPTER 6: KISS OF DEATH**

 **BPOV**

How can a person be so happy?

Is there a limit to happiness?

Can someone like me really experience happiness, and double it every minute of every day?

Day …

Wait … wait … wait… It's Monday …

Uhm …

Where did my Saturday and Sunday go?

Oh, right. They were wisely spent re-playing the hottest kiss to ever break all the first kiss of all kisses.

Oh gosh when he touched my left boob and it fit perfectly on his palm …

"Bella, your milk!"

It took me a second to associate the voice with Renee, and another second to understand her words. When I did, I blinked back to the present of our Monday breakfast and finally took notice of the cup of milk, which I was holding in my hand, where the contents were spilling freely to the table.

"Oh." I uttered, followed by a combination of giggle-snort, as I angled the cup correctly to stop the spilling. I then further noticed that my pancakes were untouched in front of me.

Another giggle erupted from me – everything I saw was just funny, like the shape of the burnt side of the pancake …

"Bella that was the fifth time you spilled your drink since you came back from the Cullens. Get a grip of yourself, honey. I don't want to bring you to the shrink to have your head checked – whenever those all-seeing-eyes see me, they always want to lock me up."

Even though I heard the words coming out of my mother's mouth, I didn't understand a thing. All I knew was that I had the most epic Saturday with Edtard Cunnen, and I was still on my high.

"Mom, Edtard was the sweetest and sexiest thing to ever walk in the planet. If his legs will be auctioned, I'm sure they would be worth more than a trillion, and you would have to lend me money to bid on him …"

My dad cleared his throat awkwardly at this – _oh, I forgot he was with us._

"I've heard that story for fifteen times already …" my mother mumbled, but I ignored her.

"He kissed me like a man should, and I felt all of me awaken, and he made me feel very feminine …"

"Bella," my father called out sternly, "this isn't the type of conversation I would like to listen to …"

Again, I ignored him.

"He was so commanding, and was so sinfully delectable, and his tongue had done a number on my poor girly bits …"

Charlie cleared his throat once more, while my mom seemed bored.

"He touched me to places no one has ever dared before aside from my own hands …"

"Bella!" My father sounded angry. "I would have to speak to this boy again if you continue with this play-by-play! For God's sake, it wasn't a freaking basketball game."

"He was so …"

Suddenly, my dreamy recounting was regrettably interrupted by a sound of an engine being cut off outside our house. I angrily marched towards the sound, planning to give whoever it was a piece of my mind about disrupting me on my grandest tale ever, as my nosy parents followed me behind.

However, when my eyes landed on the culprit, my scowl was immediately wiped out off my face, and was replaced by my hugest smile. For there, on our driveway, was my prince, making me fall in love with him even more.

Edtard Cunnen was leaning over his sexy car while he was wearing a sexy pair of shades, with the sexiest crooked smile plastered on his sexy face as he looked sexily at me.

His sexy countenance made me look down on my lap to check if smoke was rising.

 _Nope, just my usual skinny jeans._

"Oh my gosh, Bella, your boyfriend is fetching you for school!" My mother exclaimed beside me, sounding very thrilled about the aspect.

"No shit, Sherlock," I mumbled out of her earshot.

 _Wait … what? Did Renee say Edtard is my boyfriend? He wasn't my boyfriend … yet._

 _Wait, was he?_

 _Wait, wait, wait, before all that crap, focus on the more important things Bella …_

 _Edtard is here …_

 _Edtard is here …_

 _Edtard is here!_

After my mind finally caught up to the scene in front of me, I launched myself towards Edtard, almost knocking him off his feet, as I locked my legs and arms around him.

"Oh my gosh, Edtard, you're here! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

Apparently, my brains have ceased to recall any other words aside from "Oh", and "My", and "Gosh". Edtard was laughing loudly as he tried to balance us both.

"Good morning to you too," he said with a smile.

I peppered him with my kisses all over his face, making him laugh even more.

"Isabella, get off of that boy!" I think my father yelled at me. I turned my head to him with a glare as I stubbornly attached myself tighter to Edtard.

Edtard, ever the perfect man, politely greeted my parents a, "Good morning."

Renee was fast to approach us.

"Good morning to you too, Edward."

She started leaning to kiss his cheeks, but before she could, I blocked my mother from Edtard with a glare.

She hissed in irritation as she says, "Such a sourpuss."

Edtard laughed for some reason, but I just continued to glare at her.

 _Oh, my mother said 'sourpuss'._

"Gah! Renee, don't call me Sourpuss the third!"

She looked at me in confusion before saying, "But I got your name from Ugly Duckling."

I only shook my head at her – Renee can never be cured.

Just then, Edtard announced to all of us, "I think it's time we go to school so that we won't be late."

"Right," my mother uttered. My father grumbled something I didn't pay attention to.

Staying attached to him like a Koala, I was forced to be carried by Edtard even when he opened my door. I only removed my hard-clinging on him once I had my butt seated at his comfortable leather chair.

 _Yay! I'm inside the sexy car!_

Within seconds, we were already hitting the road.

"What's this for?" I asked him after a few moments of gawking at his car's awesome exterior. We had the romantic background of one of Ed Sheeran's song which made me squeal when I recognized it.

"I figured that I've never been a proper gentleman to you before. Therefore, I wanted to do things the right way – you know, drive you to and from school, walk you from class to class, pay for your lunch, carry your bag …"

At his words, I couldn't help myself: I shrieked loudly from happiness, and I heard Edtard chuckling beside me.

"I don't know why you're doing all these things but I love them! It's like I'm a princess of some sort. Ahhhh!"

Edtard laughed again, before focusing on his driving. 'Cause, you know, it wouldn't be a good thing to crush on a tree or something when we were giddily happy with each other's presence and I hadn't yet fulfilled my lifelong dreams of becoming Mrs. Cullen …

These random thoughts occupied my mind as Edtard drove towards our school.

Once we got to Forks High's parking lot, we were like fucking Kristen Blewart and Robert Pattynshen on that movie Twiflight when Edtard stopped his car, told me, "Wait for me", and freaking walked around his car to open my door again like I'm some darn precious girl.

My humongous smile was immediately in place as I stepped out, and I couldn't help but look smug when all of the Forks High people had their prying eyes on us.

To top it all off, Edtard held out his hand to me, as though he was purposefully doing it for the crowd to see, and I took it giddily like only I could. I noted that his hands were cold (because of the weather) and mine were warm (because of my ecstatic mood), when he had intertwined them with a tight lock.

 _If before I didn't believe in unicorns, now bring on all the fairy creatures, and I will bless them with my magic dust!_

Then, just like the icing on the chocolate fudge black forest cake, Edtard leaned towards me to whisper in my ear, "Everybody is staring. Do you know why?"

"Why? Was it because you look like an orgasmic-inducing-hot rockstar with your shades and leather jacket on?"

He laughed very quietly, even though I was completely serious.

 _Oh God, I think I'm going to pass out with that laugh._

"No, silly Bella. It's because you look so damn beautiful today, and every guy hates me, and every girl is jealous of you."

 _GUeudhsahdfwedosajid._

Yup. That was mind, which just went off.

"Breathe, Bella," Edtard whispered.

I did as what he told, taking sharp intakes of breaths, and at this, he laughed quietly again.

 _I think my ovaries just exploded._

With that, we walked as one towards Forks High's building, holding each other's hands, with all eyes focusing on us, and whispers following our every move.

On our way, we passed by Alice and Jasper, who stopped their lip-locking to stare at us. I fanned myself while looking at Alice, which was the universal telepathic conversation by girls signaling, "I am with the hottest guy on the planet and I can't believe it! Please don't wake me up!"

We also passed by Rosalie and Emmett, who were sharing one headset as they listened to a song in their cellphone. When they noticed us, they both removed their headset as Rose made a gesture of thrusting her pelvis, which was the universal body language to: "You rock girl!"

And my most victorious moment came when we passed by Tanya Denali, who had her eyes bugged out of her sockets when she saw us, and I held out my tongue at her as if to say, "Take that, Blondie Big Butt! I win!" followed by my evil laugh.

There was also another moment right in front of the lockers where a guy from Edtard's baseball team – I think his name was Riley? – shot us a curious look. To my utter surprise, Edtard reacted possessively to this by unclasping our hands to snake his arm around my waist.

Then, after looking over at the Riley-guy through his intimidating glare, Edtard turned his head towards me to say, "See you after your first period."

"See you in my daydreams, and I'm not menstruating," was my immediate response, because, damned, my brain was already malfunctioning since Saturday, and his possessiveness made it altogether stopped working.

To kill me more, as though he wasn't satisfied yet with his deliciously torturous effect on me, Edtard then smiled his panty-melting crooked smile before suddenly leaning towards me to give me a sexy, languid kiss.

I kissed him back just as languidly, tasting his minty breath, before we broke apart with my purring.

"Bye," he breathed. And moments later, he was gone.

When I was sure he was nowhere near me, I couldn't help myself – I started dancing my wildest salsa victory dance.

 _Edtard Cunnen was so hot! Edtard Cunnen kissed me a lot! Edtard Cunnen's acting like we're a couple even though we're not!_

I might have passed out in the floor after that. I wasn't sure.

And I didn't care even if they kick my unconscious body on the hallway, or if there was a fire three feet away from me, because at that moment, all I know was that I was in cloud nine.

And that I was never planning to fall down from my high.

* * *

 **EPOV**

I was in cloud nine as I went to my first period, Spanish, and I didn't care even if I was wearing the stupidest-looking smile on my face and people were snickering at me.

Once I have embraced the idea that I actually like Bella Swan when I kissed her last Saturday, it was like all denials and pretentions evaporated from me. In their place was a feeling of utter bliss mixed with wooziness over the prospect of spending more time with Bella.

 _So this is what it feels like to like someone. I shouldn't have judged people so easily before. I was such a grump._

As I had promised Bella, I walked her to her class the second and third period (and both kissed her sweetly outside her door, which elicited a few irritated and scandalized looks from the passers-by, and which made her more light-headed), running in time before my third period of Gym class started.

Once I changed into the proper P.E. uniform, my eyes were able to glimpse at Tanya's profile, and I noticed that she seemed to be deliberately avoiding my stares. I made sure Coach Clapp was busy with my other classmates before I walked towards her and her group of friends.

"Hi Tanya," I greeted the moment I got near them.

Her other friends shot me glares, but Tanya had on a polite smile.

"Hi Edward. Glad to see you've fully recovered."

 _From what?_

"Oh, yeah, the lemon juice was helpful. Thanks again."

She nodded, still smiling politely.

I summoned my courage before I spoke, "Err, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Her other friends looked at her as though they would scratch me in the eyes if Tanya would only give them her signal. However, Tanya only smiled at both of them before telling me, "Sure. Let's walk over to the bleachers."

At this, we finally both walked, with a safe distance between us, as people seemed to have their eyes trained on us.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" She said as soon as we reached our destination.

I cleared my throat to ease the awkwardness between us.

"I know you've seen Bella and me early on …"

She suddenly held out her hands to stop me.

"Wait, I think I have an idea where this is going. And before you apologize to me, or look at me with pitying eyes, let me just say my piece, alright?"

I nodded, wondering idly, _what is it with these women domineering over us men?_

"I tried my best to catch your attention, and to be honest, it was fun to do the chasing instead of always being the one chased. I liked it. I'd never worked hard for anything like that ever before.

And I just want to say that you, picking Bella over me, would be your mistake and your stupidity. We could have worked together well – we're both gorgeous, and smart, and have great bodies. And we're both very cynical. And you're actually very stupid for not realizing that I'm a great catch – you can never find someone like me again in a light year. However, because you chose that bumbling girl over me, and because Bella and I fought over you like only two ballsy women can, I've gotta say it eases my mind a little to know that it is to her that I've lost.

So whatever bullshit apology you've prepared for me, I suggest you just shove it up your ass. Because me? I am great, and I will remain great."

Tanya finished her speech by patting me on my back.

I couldn't retort a word.

Then, before she left me there, she stopped to say, "One last thing – that ankle-injury I had at your baseball game? It was staged. I really tried to kiss you that time. I guess you do really have quick reflexes because you managed to block my kiss with your hand."

Then suddenly, she smacked her lips to my surprised mouth before giggling as she went away.

I stood there for a few moments trying to recover from my shock.

I was embarrassingly giddy with excitement when lunch time approached. I stopped by Bella's class but found out she had already went to the canteen, so I went there instead.

However, once I set-foot inside the canteen, a quick glance made me aware that Bella wasn't anywhere in sight. And just as I decided to look for her, a loud bawling made me turn back, until out of nowhere, a girl assaulted me by launching herself to me, knocking me off my feet.

I uttered a manly, "ough," as I fell to the floor with the girl on top of me.

That's when she shouted, "How dare you play her up Edward Cullen? I will skin you alive!"

A quick glance to the girl made me recognize her as Alice Brandon, one of Bella's friends.

"What do you …?"

"Save your speech for later after I castrated you!"

I gulped from her threat, unconsciously covering the most important part of my body with my hand while we lay there on the floor.

"What do you mean, Brandon? What are you talking about? And can you please get off of me?"

She obeyed even though the fury in her eyes was still present.

Once she was safely standing, she yelled at me again.

"Don't deny it! Everyone saw you!"

"Saw me do what?"

As Brandon was about to speak, a crying girl – who I recognized a second later as Bella – showed up by crawling away from under the table. Her appearance made Brandon cease speaking.

 _Why the hell was Bella hiding from there?_

The moment she approached us, and without warning, Bella began her rant as she cried uncontrollably, while wiping her eyes. I rose from the floor as I tried to process her fast speech.

"I-I know you didn't tell me that we're together, but I did hope that you're finally catching feelings for me. B-But you know, if you really liked Tanya instead of me, you could have told me. I know I have been pushy, and I didn't give you the s-space you wanted away from me, but I at least hope you wouldn't use me like this. I was even planning our w-wedding and our c-children, and Esme must be crushed to know I wouldn't end up as her daughter-in-law, but I will understand if you prefer a woman with humongous b-boobs to milk her like a cow or something because mine just fit perfectly in your palm and you probably wanted something bigger, more than what can fit on your palm, but …"

"Bella, wait, what are you talking about?" I finally was able to wedge in between her words, holding both her shoulders to cease her movements.

"I-I know you probably liked her better than me."

"Like better who?"

"T-Tanya."

 _Tanya? Why the fuck would I like Tanya?_

"What made you say that?"

She hesitated for a second, before blurting out, "Youkisshedher."

At this, my mouth popped open in surprise, realizing how fast the rumors must have traveled on school. I then regained my composure to tell her resolutely:

"I did not kiss her."

However, she started crying again.

I looked furtively towards her friend who was glaring at me with murder in her eyes. A quick glance (and a gulp) around me confirmed that the whole canteen people were watching us, with some of them even taking pictures and videos from their phones.

And another quick look made me see that … _Mr. Banner was enjoying the whole thing with a smirk on his face … which wasn't weird and creepy at all._

"Edtard, you don't have to deny it. E-Everybody saw you with her."

Hearing this, I turned my attention back to Bella who wasn't still over with her crying jag.

"No, Bella, you don't understand. It wasn't like that. Tanya was telling me goodbye, and suddenly smacked her lips to mine, but I didn't kiss her back."

She took a sniff before saying, "I'll be happy for you both."

 _Dammit. This leaves me no choice. This crazy woman won't believe me if I won't do this._

With definitive manly decisiveness, I held her face between my palms to say with clear voice, "Bella, listen to me: I don't like Tanya.

I. LIKE. YOU."

She looked at me a little surprised, but then looked away as she mumbled, "If you're doing this out of pity …"

 _Dammit, that's it!_

Halfway through Bella's mumbling, I placed my lips to her unsuspecting ones to halt whatever it was that she was going to say next.

A delighted shrieking broke from the crowd and it took me a second to process that the voice came from Brandon. It was then followed by a sound of continued shutters of phones. Some people also shrieked the same way as Brandon did as though they were watching a scene from a show.

Figuratively rolling my eyes at our audience, I blocked all these distractions to focus instead on the ignorant girl before me:

At first, Bella was too shocked to respond to my kiss.

Because of this, I removed my mouth from hers to whisper in her ear, "So, what do you think? Does this make us a couple, or not, hmm, Bella Swan?"

She blinked adorably as her craze-filled mind processed my words.

Taking advantage of her befuddled state, I then placed back my lips to hers. With this, she finally responded to the kiss, placing both her hands on my hair as I encircled my arms around her waist, deepening the kiss.

We continued kissing for a few seconds until she removed her mouth to mine and then whispered …

"I think I'm going to faint …"

Confused for a second, I opened my eyes to see that Bella appears a bit lightheaded.

Then, as she had told me, her eyes suddenly rolled up to her sockets …

And then, her body went limp …

Then she closed her eyes.

It took me a second to yell her name in alarm.

"Oh, now you've done it. ' _A guy kissed a girl to her death.'_ This will be famous in youtube by tonight," a laughing Brandon remarked beside us, making me wonder why she didn't sound worried about her friend at all.

Then as I processed her words, I groaned, realizing that, damn, she was probably right.

This whole scene could be a hit, and I could just be the possible next hallyu star.

* * *

 **BPOV**

I think I just saw a multitude of stars.

I counted to three …

One Edtard's smile star …

Two Edtard's lips star …

Three Edtard's sexy voice and unbelievable words star …

Wait, where am I? Why is my head throbbing like crazy?

Did I die from Edtard's kiss and gone to heaven?

Wait, wait, that can't be the case! I hadn't prepared my speech yet! I've been a naughty, naughty girl these past days, I'm sure they won't let me go to Heaven. But God is omnipotent right? He would understand.

I'm sure if I told Him I did try to be a good girl right until Edtard kissed me senseless while I rode him in-a-not-so-good-girl way (but a completely different kind of "good girl" way) in his room as he took hold of my boob, God would understand. He knows of my weakness of Edtard's lips, and mouth, and smile, and tongue. He knows I did my best to resist him (which is equivalent to trying to wipe out all the Justin Biefer anti-fans).

Wait, am I really dead? If so, why is my head pounding like someone was hammering on it? I thought only Biefer fans can make my head ache like someone was hammering on it …

Oh crap. Maybe I have developed brain tumor!

Is this God's way of punishing me?

 _Bella …_

Someone was speaking. Her voice was familiar. It sounded like a friend of mine.

 _Bella, this is Rosalie. Enough with your daydreams honey, or reality will bite you in the ass._

Right. That's the way to wake me up. As if I want someone biting me in my ass. If it would be anything connected to Edtard's mouth which would bite my ass, maybe I'll consider it, but anything aside from that will just be gross.

 _Bella, this is Alice. Edward is naked in front of you._

"Where is the naked man?! I'm sorry Lord – I'll repent later, but I can't miss Edtard's naked body!"

I opened my eyes to the startled people in front of me. To add more cream to my embarrassment, the first person's face that I saw belonged Dr. Carlisle Cunnen, Edtar's dad.

I think I heard Edtard groan.

"Where am I? What happened?" I asked the general crowd, who were having a hard time controlling their outbursts.

Doctor Hot was the one who took pity on me to explain, "You're in Forks High's clinic, Bella. You fainted at the canteen at lunch. It was Edward who called me here to check on you – he was very worried about you."

I clasped my hands to my surprised Future Daddy-in-Law.

"I did try to resist him, Carlisle. Tell Jesus I did try to resist Edtard's oozing sex appeal, but once he shoved his tongue down my throat, I was a goner."

"Err, what do you mean, Bella?"

 _Gee, I didn't know my poor daddy-in-law was a bit slow in the head._

"To heaven! They won't let me into the gate! I'm sure if you testify for my poor soul, they would believe you. You look like a very kind person; you could deceive even Satan himself."

A laughing Alice broke into our conversation by saying, "I think she has returned to normal, Dr. Cullen. That's Bella's way of 'normal'."

Carlisle nodded, though he still looked confused.

I shifted my eyes to Edtard noting how red his face was.

 _Oh, God, you really were punishing me. Alice was lying – Edtard had his sinful body covered with the hateful, hateful clothes,_ I thought in disappointment.

"If that's the case," Dr. Cunnen then said beside me, "I think I should get going now. I have another surgery due in half an hour. Bella just fainted due to surprise. She'll recover quickly if she takes a rest."

 _Oh, okay: I didn't die yet, which means I still have time to be sinful with Edtard, and repent later when I'm an eighty year-old grandma on my deathbed with Edtard's amazingly immortalized body beside me. Well, that's good news._

"Thanks Dad," Edtard said with a nod, and Carlisle nodded with a smile before leaving us.

Just as he was at the door, he stopped to tell me, "And Bella, don't forget to breathe." He then winked at me and my poor girly bits were confused if they were to worship my future-husband's daddy or stick with the son.

Then, my traitor friends started snickering, catching my attention.

So now, on to the Sharks …

"Crazy B, I can't believe you fainted from kissing Little E. Maybe you felt he wasn't little down there after all."

That was Emtard, Rose's Neanderthal of a boyfriend, waggling his eyebrows at me in a suggestive way.

But he should have known better than to try to antagonize me.

"Well, yeah, Edtard's VERY big down there, unlike someone I know, who's only big in shape but was actually just four-inches down there, right, Emtard?"

The whole room erupted in laughter, as Emmett looked a little embarrassed while Edtard looked smug.

"Rosie, I'm not small. Tell Crazy B here how big I am," Emmett whined like a school boy.

"Sorry to tell you, Bella-honey, but my man is _this_ big," Rosalie supplied, holding out her index finger and thumb to show us the size of Em.

Another laughter erupted from us, and Emmett looked like he'd burst out from embarrassment.

"That's not true at all! Here, I'll show you how big I am," Emmett said in anger, and then started pulling down his zipper.

"Oh no! Get that away from me!" I shrieked, not wanting to see even a bit of what Emmett had down there.

Emmett, seeing how embarrassed I was, became more fueled to continue his stripping.

Luckily, my Edtard is the best. Because when he saw what Emtard was doing, he blocked him from my view to say, "Emmett, man, please not here. We're at the school's clinic. And quite frankly, I don't want to have nightmares later on."

Emmett looked a little disgruntled, but he nodded and scooted away from me. My lovely man then chose to sit beside me at my bed. I took advantage of his proximity to sniff him.

 _Minty, just as I have smelled before._

Just then, Jasper, Alice's boyfriend, took our attentions when he said, "Man, you're kissing scene from earlier is hitting views like crazy! It was uploaded just half a minute ago, but you already have, like, five hundred views from youtube. There are even comments."

"What are they about?" I asked curiously.

Edtard groaned beside me.

"Mostly just commenting how hilarious you are from fainting. However, there are some who comments about Edward."

"Give it to me," I said, holding out my hand for the phone.

Once Jasper gave the phone to me, I then scanned the comments section and read that most of them are lusting over my man.

This made me more furious than ever.

"Ugh! Wasn't it enough I have Tanya as my competition? Now I have the whole netizens as my opponents."

Hearing this, Edtard took the phone from my hand to give it back to Jasper.

"Bella, I told you, you don't have to worry about Tanya anymore. I don't like her."

"You don't?"

"No."

"So, that means … I've won? Are we a couple?" I answered, because my brain-functioning was a chaos when I'm beside my man.

Plastering my favorite crooked smile, Edtard then shrugged as if to say, "I don't know."

My friends snickered at this, which made me glare at them.

"I hate you all. I hope Alice and Rose begin menstruating today so you won't get any sexy time."

The talk about their period made them laugh more.

 _The bastards and bitches …_

Then I remembered …

"Wait, what are you all doing here? Shouldn't you all have classes?"

 _Cockblockers._

"This is a good opportunity to ditch class, Bella. You wouldn't expect us to miss this chance, would you?" Rosalie answered while she inspected her nails.

They were bloody red, which I hope what she'd find tonight on her bed.

 _Wow, that rhymed._

 _Oh, right, I was asking something as well …_

"Wait, before I forget, did you all introduce yourself to Edtard? Maybe you overwhelmed him. Oh, God, if you scared him to death, I swear to all the Gods out there, I will scorch you to death …"

"Easy, Bella," Edtard said beside me, "All the introductions were already made. Emmett and I are on the same team, remember? He introduced me to Jasper, Rose and Alice."

"Oh," was my ingenious response.

"And since you've finally regained consciousness from my kissing expertise …" Edtard continued with a wink.

At his gesture, I held out my finger to him to stop him, before checking if I wet my bed – nope, it didn't leak from my panty, so I nodded for him to continue, and he laughed a little.

"Since you've regained consciousness," he repeated, "can I ask you something? So that you won't doubt me anymore as you have doubted a while back, and so that I could be honest with my intentions to you in front of your friends …?"

My so-called "friends" turned their full attentions to us with burning interests that I was momentarily afraid would burn me alive.

"W-What's that?" I asked.

Then, smiling _his_ smile, he killed me again with his words, saying:

"Will you go out on a date with me?"

…

Dwihfisahcoisoifd

 _Rewind._

diahdajsiodcjozjc

I hope I didn't hear wrong.

"I think I'm going to faint again …" I whispered pathetically.

"Bella, breathe," Edtard reminded me, and I took a huge breath which made everyone around me laugh.

 _Gee, I'm like their clown or something. Maybe I have to harass them for payment after my show …_

"Remember how I told you that I have photographic memory?" Edtard then said, and I removed my attention from imagining my future job.

"Yes, you did, which is another testimony to your perfection."

"Right. I distinctly remember when we first met that you asked me on a date in our Biology class. You're exact words were, _'Meet me at eight on La Bella Italia on Friday. That restaurant has my name on it – I'm Bella, Bella Swan – so when you tell our future kids about our first date, it would sound like you planned everything.'_ "

"Wow," I uttered, together with all the morons in the room.

I think I clapped three times.

I might have also drooled from my mouth hanging open in awe.

"So, why don't we do that? Let's have a date. On La Bella Italia. On Friday night at eight."

"Oh my gosh, Edward, you're so romantic! I think I might fall for you!"

Believe it or not, that wasn't me. That was my moron of a best friend, Alice Brattdon, who I am now considering to be my enemy.

Thankfully, Jasper looked just as pissed as me and kissed her to silence her.

Which wasn't weird.

At all.

Because we are, like, six in the room.

And completely not gross.

But it got me the idea.

"What do you think?" Edtard then asked me, smiling at me with confidence, and alerting my attention back at him.

 _Why is confidence so attractive?_

So with that, and inspired by Jasper's tactic, I launched myself to Edtard to kiss him senseless

Poor Rose and Emmett started making gagging sounds.

Hearing their not so subtle protests, I broke the kiss to tell them, "This is payback from that time I caught you in the Broom's room."

Then I happily returned my mouth to my super romantic man.

He was laughing as he kissed me back.

I didn't know that was possible: to kiss and laugh.

Well, I guess I'll learn new things everyday with him … and this bitch is not complaining to learn something new for once.

At four, when I was finally discharged from the clinic by the nurse who shot glares at me while she lusted over my man, which made me "accidentally" knock the papers at her table to get back on her (I was rewarded with her most furious of glares), I followed Edtard to his baseball practice.

At first he didn't want me watching him from the bleachers, telling me I should rest properly. However, when I reminded him he drove me to school and I have no ride back, he finally relented, only after making me promise, like, a hundred times that I shouldn't cheer him on like I usually do so that I could conserve my energy.

The first three promises I made were obviously lies on my part, but my man was so clever that he saw right through me. After a few more promises, I finally relented and promised to genuinely not cheer him on his practice.

 _Guess I could reserve that on Monday …_

This was the reason why, when Tanya Denali approached me at the bleachers, I was silent as a mule. She took the seat beside me, making me impossible to pretend that she does not exist.

Finally, after a few moments of silence, she stated in a clear voice, "Truce."

Then she offered me a pack of popcorn, and I couldn't say 'no', because, darn, they are free popcorns and you don't say 'no' to free popcorns.

"Agreed," I said after taking the popcorn.

I opened it and began eating as the silence stretched on. She also started eating from my popcorn, and I couldn't shoo her hand away because technically, the popcorn were hers.

After a few more _crunch,_ and _munch_ , she finally broke the silence again.

She began by remarking, "God, he looks so sexy. You're a lucky bitch."

I was also lusting over my man, so I knew exactly what Tanya was saying.

"Yeah. Look how good he looks with his jersey on. Darn, it sticks to his abs like glue."

"I don't usually like sweaty men, but, God, Edward looks like a God when he sweats like that."

"True. You sound blasphemous, but God will forgive you. He looks very sinful."

"I want to lick him all over."

"Gross. Not him, but your tongue on him."

"Look at him when he runs! His ass looks perfect being hugged by his uniform."

This went on for about an hour.

At one point, Edtard turned his head towards us, and took a second as he looked at us a little shocked. He was probably wondering why I was sharing a snack with my nemesis.

But, what can I say? Girls are screwed up people. We can hate each other, and we can share a meal at the same time.

And, you know, since the popcorn was technically Tanya's, and it was free …

"So, Bella, tell me why you started attacking me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I feigned ignorance.

"You know damn well what I was talking about. You flattened my tires, and made someone post a note at my back."

At this, I turned to her to yell, "But you counter-attacked!"

"There's a reason why it's called _counter_ -attack. You attacked first."

 _Dang. Why does she have to have functional brains? She makes me look stupid._

I turned my attention back to my delicious husband, and continued eating popcorn.

"So, tell me why. You must have been triggered by something."

Slightly irritated, I finally gave in.

"You kissed Edtard without his consent at his game."

Disbelief colored her words when she said, "Just because of that?"

"You can kiss Edtard when he initiates it, but you can't surprise him like what you did."

"Dude, we didn't establish rules."

"It's SOP."

"Isn't it you said that _all is fair in love and war?_ I didn't play dirty, if we follow that rule."

She got me there. Damn it.

"It's SOP," I repeated like a parrot, because I got no smart-ass reply to her logic, and apparently, that was the limit of my brains for today.

She sighed, but responded, "Well, sorry about that. Trust me: I didn't want to look desperate. But you should have stick around. He didn't kiss me back. And you got him in the end."

"You also kissed him this morning," I reminded her so that I could purge all my hatred out in one go.

"Yes, but that was just a kiss of goodbye. You win, bitch. He has his eye on you. I don't force myself to a guy who doesn't like me back when there are plenty of fishes in the sea."

Confused, I looked at her to say, "Why would you settle for a fish if there are Octopuses or Squids in the sea?"

She smiled as she said, "Well, that's true. I'll keep that in mind."

 _Wait, did I just impart a word of wisdom to her? Dang, I must be an ignorant genius._

"And Edtard is a Merman – just saying."

"With that body, I couldn't agree more," she nodded conspiratorially, and I nodded in strong agreement.

After a few more moments, Tanya finally stood to say, "I guess that's it. I have to go now. It was nice competing with you."

"It wasn't nice for me," I answered honestly, remembering all the hardships I faced because of her. She laughed.

"Congrats, by the way," she said when her laughter died down.

"For what?"

"For winning over Edward. For becoming his girlfriend."

More confused, I responded, "I'm not his girlfriend."

"You mean to say …"

She looked at me with open mouth and furrowed eyebrows for a few seconds before exclaiming, "Oh my gosh, you're so dense!"

"Hey, watch it!"

Tanya started laughing her evil laugh again, and I was contemplating murder right then.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe this."

 _Maybe eating popcorn finally made her lose her mind. Answered prayers, is what I can say._

"Bella, this is great news! I can still compete with you, because you're so dense you don't realize that you've actually become his …"

She trailed off with another laugh.

 _Wait a second, "still compete with me"?_

"Wait, I thought you were conceding?"

She was still laughing when she clapped my back.

"Oh gosh, I have to go. You're so stupid, Bella Swan, that you just made my day."

Then she started walking away, making me scream at her, "Wait, what did you mean?! Are you conceding or not?!"

She turned back with her hateful smirk that makes her look more superior than me as she said, "Who knows? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I guess we'll see."

And she started laughing again as she continued to walk away.

I tried to follow her, but I tripped on the bleachers, making me slump on the seat.

 _Ow! That hurt!_ I thought as I caressed my sore ass.

I blamed it all to the stupid Tanya Denali.

 _Dang that smart-mouthed bitch_.

* * *

 **A/N** : A penny for your thoughts? No? How about a chapter for your thoughts?

I just want to say that so far, the comments that I've received for this story are very positive and encouraging, and I'm thankful to you guys that you appreciate this little work of craziness. You see, one single comment could make or break my mood. If I see an ecstatic reader expressing his/her appreciation to the chapter, all my procrastination for the day gets replaced by my eagerness to bring another dose of happiness to his/her door.

So it's like supply and demand: You demand the chapters and I supply them; I supply the happiness and I demand the energy you give me from your thoughts. Fair enough, I guess. LOL

With that said, what can you say about this chapter? Help me alleviate my lazy mood!


	8. Chapter 7: Part One of The Date

**A/N: It's been such a LONG time since I last updated any of my stories that I don't know what to say to all of you aside from hoping this chapter will make up for the waiting. *smiles sheepeshly"**

 **To explain things, this one, "The Date" will be a three parts chapter.**

 **Also, I just made a banner for this story and uploaded it in my recently created facebook page. You can check it out here:**

 **https (colon) . ?fbid=109228282897711 &id=100014316188836&set=a.109229576230915.1073741826.100014316188836&source=48&ref=bookmarks**

 **You can also find the link in my profile.**

 **And as usual, all mistakes are mine.**

 **Enjoy the date!**

* * *

 **Bella: The Fate Tamperer** **  
**Chapter 7, Part 1 of 3 of _The Date_ : "Dating a Momma's Boy"

 **BPOV**

The road to mine and my Edtard's _forever_ is paved with good intentions, but just like the phrase where it originated from - I think it says "hell" and not "forever", but I don't care much about the technicalities (ugh! Grammar!) – there are people who'd have to suffer some grave-casualties first just for us to truly be happy. You know, small favors.

Such as the case with Tanya.

It's actually plain and simple: Tanya just has to accept the fact that she has been eviscerated, gutted out, disemboweled from our sight, forever… or just admit that she lost on our fight over Edtard. Bleh, same difference.

And then there's Edtard's mom.

No, not Esme. Gosh! I mean, Esme's like a poster child for mommies who look like they're in their twenties and have the boobs and butt to prove it. I adore and idolize that woman so much.

No, what I meant is like the _other_ mother. You know, the biological one? The one who got preggo by accident when she was in the beach and rightly gave Edtard to saint Carlisle and goddess Esme like she was just a baby factory? Well, it turns out this baby-momma is one big, grating, _demanding_ female-dog ('cause you know, I don't really want to say the "b"-word about Edtard's momma 'cause I love his son to death, and when you think about it, I kinda have to thank bio-momma for being a one-night-bam-wam hormonal teen so she got preggo with Edtard in a one, big "oops!") and she wants to "hoard" _little Eddie_ whenever she's around him like he's her feminine wash that she can't live without, and will harshly give the stinky-eye to any other female (aside from Esme, of course) that his babykins spends time with.

I might be biased and a little bitter with my statements about female-dog momma 'cause I kinda, a little, incredibly loathe the woman, but _meh_.

So, as for the casualty she has to suffer from… well, in response to her female-doggyness, she might just have to deal with me committing a murder...

To her…

One of these days…

But while I was still polishing that plan (use knife, gun, or stab her with fork in the eyes to death?), for now, I will pretend to like her and suck up to her for her son's, and mines, benefit. So, yeah, _my_ road to Edtard and mine's forever is paved with good intentions. _Insert: inner evil smirk._

The day I realized how big of a female-dog she is, is the day that is supposed to be my personal Christmas day…

 **First-Date Day: 8:00 AM**

I was in the middle of applying my red-hot-"let's make a baby"-lipstick when I got interrupted by the blaring of my cellphone. I was about to throw the phone away on the window when I recognized that the tone was the specific tone I input for my Edtard.

Giddily, I swipe my phone to answer the call just as Boys II Men promises to make love to me like I want them to.

"Hey there sexy, hot, stranger."

" _I hope that's not your standard greeting for everybody who calls you at eight AM."_ He chuckles melodiously on the other line, and I might have moaned accordingly.

"No, just the ones I plan to make babies with."

" _Is that a plan I can help formulate?"_

"No, you just have to show up at the right corner in the right, dark alley, at the right time when I tell you to, and let me do all the work… like, on top, behind and in front of you."

He laughs a little louder about this, the little perv, and when he sobered, he finally said the purpose of his call.

" _So listen, about that date on eight this evening…"_

"Yeah, I've been preparing since six," I said as I puckered my red lips in front of the mirror.

Looking like a tramp. Perfect.

" _Right. Uhm, we might have to cancel it."_

"What?!" In my outrage, I knocked a bottle of nail polish over my white carpet. I hissed as I bent to retrieve it before it spills.

" _My mom just got here, and she's a mess. She's sobbing and wailing because she and her husband got into a fight…"_ he began explaining in haste.

"But I just finally got a ten-dollar discount on the payment to the guy who would pretend to steal my Virtue!" I exclaimed as I tried to fix the mess at my carpet. There's a drop of red that spilled a little on the white fabric. "I had it all planned out: I would scream like a damsel-in-distress, and you would come to my rescue like a knight-in-shining armor."

" _I'm really sorry, but I was thinking –, wait, what?"_ He cut his sentence in surprised-confusion. _"Paid a guy to do what?"_

His surprise made me realize what I just said.

Oh crap.

"Oh crap," I echoed my thoughts.

" _Bella, correct me if I'm wrong but I could swear I just heard you say you paid some guy who will pretend to – what? Steal your Virtue – so I'll have to kick his butt. Bui that's not right, right? Because otherwise, that means you are orchestrating an impromptu action scene like in the movies, and that is just batshit crazy."_

Oh crap oh crap oh crap…

"I didn't say that," I vehemently denied. When cornered, all you could do is… "What I said is, I-I got a ten-dollar discount to pay a guy to… to… to play us a violin! And then you'll have to grab a piano like some knight-in-shining fingers when I'm distressed."

Whew! That was close! I think that went well…

Or not.

" _Bellaaaa…"_ He dragged my name, like I was a stubborn kid in need of admonition, making me wince. _"Promise me there will be no guy who would try to be all-villain so that I could be superman on our date."_

"But I already paid him fifty bucks…!"

" _Bellaaaa!"_

Ugh! I should have not let that slip!

"Fine!" I huffed. "No villain-guy." _Goodbye, fantasy-of-being-saved-by-my-hero-and-then-haphazardly-kissing -the-bejesus-out-of-him-while-he-fondled-my-chest-on-the-dark-alley._

I might have shed a tear or two.

" _Good."_ He sounded relieved.

"Just my big surprise present to you then," I relented.

" _Bella!"_

"Anyway," I diverted again, and this time, I was successful, "what's it again about your mother? That she's bawling her eyes out? And why do we have to cancel our date over that?"

Jesus, can't she have a breakdown when it's not our first date?!

My sweet Edtard sighed, like the world rests upon his big, broad and sexy shoulders. _"She needs me, Bella. I'm really sorry, but when she's in this mood, she's irreconcilable. I couldn't leave her…"_

"But… it's only eight… in the morning. She has, like, twelve hours to calm down. Wouldn't she get fine before our date?"

" _She won't calm down until I forced her to sleep."_

"Then force her to sleep now," I whined, 'cause this really sucks! You know?

" _She would know I'm doing it on purpose."_

I sighed, frustrated.

After a bit, Edtard spoke again. " _Hey, let's try to salvage the situation… I know: why don't we just reschedule the time of our date to, like, ten instead of eight? Then I'll have to sneak out when she's asleep so she won't notice me leave. That way your preparation won't be wasted. Then let's schedule another longer date next week."_

I sighed.

It's not like I have any other choice.

"I can't believe Esme and Carlisle just had a huge fight. And it's weird you called him 'her husband', like you don't consider him your father… Should I go there to calm her down?"

" _No!"_ He suddenly shouted, like the idea appalled him, which hurt my ego a little bit.

"Why not? Esme and I are close."

" _No, I mean, it's not Esme and Carlisle… It's my_ other _mom and her husband. My biological mom. Remember, I'm adopted?"_

Ohhh… "Ohhh," I echoed my thoughts.

" _Yeah, so please don't come here. She's kind of a little…_ demanding, _and temperamental when she's like this. I'm afraid she might say stuff to you… bad stuff."_

"Ohhh," I parroted, like a broken cord.

" _I'm really sorry Bella. Don't worry, I'll call every hour today to make it up to you."_

"You better," I warned. "Or better yet, call me every five minutes."

" _Fifty minutes,"_ the cheeky bastard even negotiated, and I could finally hear the smile on his face – if that was possible. It made me smile to finally make him smile.

"Ten," I negotiated as well, playing with him.

" _Fifty."_

"Thirty."

" _Forty-nine,"_ he responded, laughing a little, unrelenting.

"Fine! Forty-five!" I gave up.

" _Done."_ He chuckled. Then he finally said seriously, _"And I'm really sorry about this. I hope you'll understand."_

I sighed, accepting the situation with poor grace knowing I can't do anything about it. It's not like I can force Edtard to choose me over his mom. That's just wrong.

Although forcing him _on_ me… Hmm, let me reserve that fantasy for a later date…

"I understand," I finally said after fantasizing eight different ways of _forcing_ Edtard on me. "She's your mom. She needs you. And anyway, we'll just have to have dinner at ten instead. At least the date's not totally cancelled."

" _Yeah… Thank you for – EDDIE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND, EDDIE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND! Are you gonna get her naked Eddie?"_ Suddenly, a child's voice taunted on the other line.

" _Stop it Jake! Who taught you such language?"_

The boy – who I assumed by now is called Jacob – laughed loudly as he continued taunting Edtard his earlier taunts in a sing-song voice.

Suddenly, another woman, who I haven't heard speak before until now, asked Edtard in the background, _"Who are you talking to, Eddie?"_

" _No one, mother,"_ he said. _Denying who I am? Ouch!_ _"Nothing for you to concern yourself with,"_ he continued, in the process stabbing me unknowingly at _my feels_. _"And please don't call me Eddie. I don't like that name."_ And then he said in a whisper that I think was not meant to be heard by anyone, _"First Edtard, now Eddie. Why can't anyone get my name right…?"_

" _That better be_ really _no one…"_ the woman said in a warming. _"I don't want to know you're talking to some girl you haven't let me meet yet, especially someone who has no manners."_

What did she just say? I have no manners? What a bitc...female dog!

When _Eddie_ got back to me, he was apologetic again, and curt.

" _Bella, mother's calling me, and I gotta go. I'm really sorry again. I'll pick you up at ten."_

"Well I love –," before I finished with my sentence, he already hanged up, making me instead look at my phone as I continued blurting in the air, "…you."

* * *

 **Rescheduled First-Date Day: 10AM**

A knock interrupted my emo-moment.

"Go away!" I shouted at the door in my room.

" _It's Alice. Renee let me in. Says she can't make you stop crying."_

"I'm not," hiccups, "crying," hiccups.

" _Yeah, could've fooled me."_

"I'm not saying you're stupid!"

A beat, and then Alice spoke again.

" _Let me come in Bella. I brought you some ice cream."_

"Ice cream is for losers. I don't want to get fat."

" _You never get fat."_ Again, a beat. _"Edward is lying naked in front of your door."_

I ran to the door faster than the speed of light and opened it with a loud bang.

"Where's Edtard?"

"Hello to you too, missy," Alice says, smiling like all is well in the world, and holding out an ice cream. I was tempted to punch her in the face.

"No Edtard?" I asked, eerily sounding like Kate when she wouldn't be allowed to watch _Forty-nine Shades of Grey_.

Kate is my neighbor.

She is eight.

She watches _Forty-nine Shades_ for breakfast.

There's something seriously wrong about Kate's parents.

Which makes me realize I'm the only sane person in our neighborhood.

"No. And what happened to your face? It's like Money Pacquiao and Timotly Bradthy teamed up to punch you red and blue."

"This is my make up for my and Edtard's date," I sniffled – just remembering it makes me cry out loud.

"Is it because you cried so much, so your make-up got ruined?"

"No, it was like this before I even cried. I was aiming for a _tramp with class_ look." I posed for effect, putting my hands behind my head and jerking my hips up while bawling in tears.

"Oh my gosh," she said in a whisper. "It's a good thing I came, otherwise you would look like a complete disaster on this date of yours. Would you let me in?" She gestured at my room.

I walked away from my door and sat at my bed as Alice let herself in.

"You don't have to discuss you and Jasper's business to me, you know."

"I wasn't discussing us."

"You said you came before. No wonder you look like you could fart rainbows from your butthole."

"I didn't…" When she realized how forgetful she can be, she said, "I said it's a good thing I came _here! Here_ , as in go to your room? Not _came_ as in in _sex!_ "

"How can you come just by forcing me to open my door to you without any apparent stimulation to your body?"

"Ugh!" She exclaimed – which is the tone she uses whenever she wouldn't explain things to me. One day I'm gonna do the same to her, leave her confused. Let her see how that feels…

"Anyway," she said, dismissing what we were just talking about. "So, what got your panties in a bunch?"

"My panty is perfectly soaked because of the fantasies I had with Edtard, and not bunched, thank you very much."

"Eww, that's disgusting."

"Don't be too judgmental – I wasn't planning on wearing them on our date," I lied.

She sighed again, and again, in a dismissal, says, "Right. So, why were you crying?"

I reached to the ice cream she brought me – the one I claimed is for losers – and dug in while I explained, "After shutting down my fantasy of knight-in-shining alley making out, Edtard rescheduled the time of our date because her female-dog bio-momma arrived with a disaster conflict with her husband number four, so he can't leave her, and our date is on ten instead of eight in the evening. He promised to call, after us playing with me, and some fingers mentioned, not put in, for every forty-five minutes. He hasn't called since and I've been calling him nonstop, so I was trying not to be too demanding by calling him twenty times for the past hour."

Alice has a pucker between her eyes as she tried to make sense of what I just relayed to her.

"So, let me get this right: Edward moved your first date to ten and promised to call every forty-five minutes, but he hasn't called you yet and you can't reach him?"

"And my alley making out after defeating villain fantasy would not come to fruition." I think I was more upset about that.

I remember calling Mike Newton after my call with Edtard to cancel Mike's gangsta gig. We both cried. I, because my fantasy won't be fulfilled, and him, because he says, " _What I wanted to do with you all along will not happen_."

I always knew he wanted to steal my bag which I named Virtue. I told him if Edtard changes his mind, maybe we could have both our dreams fulfilled.

That cheered him up.

Alice nodded, and then sat beside me to try eating some of my ice cream. I hit her hand.

"He might call. Maybe he's busy with his other mom. In the meantime, why don't we clean your face, and let me check on the dress you were planning to wear tonight."

"I wasn't planning to wear a dress."

"So what were you planning to wear then? Don't tell me you're planning to wear your usual jeans and shirt. This is a date – your first – and I don't want you looking like a cross dresser."

"Not those either. You think I hadn't thought about this?"

"Then what?"

'Duh, a gown." Alice could be really dense sometimes.

"You're not serious."

I stood to go to my dresser – bringing with me the ice cream lest the pixie decides to take a bite – and pulled out my beautiful white gown, showing it to Alice.

"You're kidding," Alice said in shock when she saw it.

"Isn't it pretty?" I put the gown in front of me so we could have a visual of how it would look on me.

"That's a wedding gown." See here? Really dense.

"Yes. Certainly sets the mood where I wanted our relationship to go. Think it'll inspire Edtard to marry me after three dates? I should start looking for baby names."

"You're not even eighteen to marry."

"I just need parental consent."

Alice shakes her head as she says, "I am _so glad_ I came here before your date."

I rolled my eyes. "Again with the innuendo. How pervy can you get?"

Just then, her phone rings, and she answered it while I posed in front of the mirror with my gown. _It says, "Looking for long-term commitment", and "Very serious about this relationship". Perfect._

"Hiya Rose…" Alice says in the background while I try to emulate Manilyn Monroe-roe-your-boat. She really has such a weird name…

"Oh, hey, calm down Rose…" The playful voice of Alice suddenly morphed into a serious tone, which caught my attention.

"I can't today… Jasper was bringing me in Seattle together with his family for his mom's charity event…"

"What's wrong?" I mouthed.

"Hold on Rose, I'll put you on speaker so Bella can hear you too…." She swiped some tabs on her phone to put it in speaker mode. After which, I finally heard a hysteric Rose on the other line.

" _Please, Bella, Alice, I need help."_

* * *

 **EPOV**

 **Rescheduled First-Date Day with Forgotten Phone Calls: 11AM**

"God, someone help me put a bullet through my head."

"Don't be overdramatic Edward. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

Esme's words would have done their desired intent, which would be to soothe me, if not for the fact that she looks the same as how distressed I am, with her hair out of its usual elegant and prim ponytail, falling into whichever way around her face.

She still looks beautiful though.

"I never really liked her when she's like this. Stefan's her third husband, for crying out loud! Shouldn't she get used to it by now?"

"That's not a good thing to say Edward," always the compassionate and kind one, she admonished me.

"Sorry. I just hate it when she's bawling her eyes out and snapping at everything she sees. Have you noticed how many times she's lashed out to Jake and Seth in the past hour? She gets angry even when they were trying to cheer her up. They don't understand what she's going through but they try to make her happy – can't she see that?"

"Divorce is a serious thing. It's heavy burden. I can't imagine ever going through that with Carlisle. Just try to understand her."

"But why does she always come here when shit hits the fan for her?"

Esme continued chopping the vegetables she's been chopping for an hour now. She thinks she's trying to be discreet, but I know she's doing it to prolong her stay away from Momzilla.

"You know she has no family but us. Especially now that she's very famous because of her books, I'm sure she feels alone a lot. She's surrounded by two-faced people who are sucking up to her just to get in her good graces and be casted on the movie they're making. She trusts no one but us right now."

I couldn't help but feel grateful that she is my mom when Esme becomes all understanding like that too. Don't get me wrong; I love Elizabeth as well, but Esme's different. She's more… ethereal.

"So, how's your date today with Bella? Have you ironed out the details with her yet?" Esme then asked, which made me realize I should have called Bella much earlier.

Oh crap.

"Shit. Mom, sorry but I have to call her. Date's still on, but moved to ten."

She nodded while I started fishing for my phone in my pocket. In just one dial, a sobbing Bella answered me on the other line.

" _Edtard!"_ She hiccups.

"Hey, woah, calm down."

I heard her sniff again.

"Listen, Bella, sorry about today. I've just been so busy with mother, and she's asking me all these favors so she'll feel better, that I haven't noticed time slipped away." I winced as I tried to placate her.

" _It's okay…"_ Whew. _"Well, no, it's not okay!"_ Oh crap. _"I should be angry with you because you_ promised," she emphasized the word and it cut deep in my heart, making me feel shitty about breaking my promise, _"and it has been three hours and you haven't called."_

"I'm really sorry. I don't know what else to say…"

" _But I'm not angry,"_ she continued, making me feel a little hopeful that I'm still on her good book. " _That is, I should be, but I'm just relieved you're alright more than anything else. I kept imagining you getting into an accident, or nailing Jessica Skank-ley, which is a more huge accident, but now that I am talking to you, I feel better. So much better. You make everything feel better in my world."_

When she says stuff like that to me, it's impossible not to adore this girl. I felt like I grew ten foot taller.

"Well, I am here now."

" _No, you're on the other side."_ For others, this might mean that they are trying to be sarcastic and funny, but for Bella, I am beginning to realize that she means every word. She kind of has a literal grasp of what you tell her, or she sometimes twist them into a different meaning. Her honesty is so much refreshing.

"So, am I forgiven?"

" _Like I have a choice,"_ she laughed, making me feel relieved that she's no longer crying.

Ever since I decided to kiss Bella in my room, we have been getting to know each other better. And when I promised her a date in La Bella Italia, it gave us a week to bond over lunch and at our classes. It's amazing to me to see how she has no clue at all how many girls her age seem to hang onto her every word, or idolize her. Whereas Tanya is the popular girl because she's pretty, smart, and does not try to please anyone, a veer off to the usual Queen Bee persona in the typical American high school setup, Bella is more of an attainable girl, in that you could easily be like her if you really try. She's cool with everybody, gets along even with the stoners, or jocks, or rebels, but is not threatening enough to the other wannabe-Mean Girls because she doesn't even put on noticeable make-up or donning girly dresses. Instead, she just tries _to be_. She is her own self, confident in her own skin, not needing to prove to anyone anything, not worried about what people would think of her (which puts us in a lot of embarrassing – for me, definitely not her – situations in public), but is thoughtful enough to people who matter to her.

She is a force of nature and she doesn't even know it.

But the downside, I guess, is that I could see how the _guys_ look at her. Jealousy is a foreign thing for me, and when it hit me, I didn't know how to deal with it. Like last Wednesday…

 _We were at the canteen at lunch, sharing over a pizza and discussing her favorite color (hers, green "because of your eyes," she tells me; and mine, brown, "I didn't realize it until you pointed out, but I kind of started liking brown since I met you," then next thing I knew she was getting teary-eyed and kissing me all over my face), when Tyler Butthole-Crowley started talking to Bella like they were longtime friends. Bella's usual group were doing God knows what with their partners so they were gone for the moment._

" _Hey, Bella, have you seen the trailer for the movie Forty-nine Shades Darker? I heard it's really good, and hot, especially that shower sex."_

 _If his words do not warrant a punch to his obnoxious face from me, the way his eyes never raised to Bella's face as he openly stares at her chest kind of put me on the edge._

 _Distracted, Bella shifted a confused face to him._

" _I haven't seen that yet, and the one before. But my neighbor Kate watches the first one all the time, so you might want to talk about it to her instead of me."_

" _Wow, that's awesome," Tyler said to Bella's chest._

 _I knew it was irrational, and immature, and I was never like this, but at that time, I couldn't stop myself from grabbing Bella's face and suddenly kissing her in front of Tyler Butthole to give him a show. Marking what's mine, I guess._

 _After we broke apart, the fool only looked more enthused._

 _I couldn't take it anymore – where his eyes are looking – so I finally snarled, "Tyler, her eyes are up here buddy," I gestured at Bella's eyes._

 _At this, Bella looked confused, until she looked down and noticed the the two buttons of her blouse reveals her beautiful cleavage._

" _Oh, gosh, I didn't notice the buttons were no longer hooked. This happens all the time, like my clothes couldn't handle the size of my boobs, so the buttons pop out," she said innocently like commenting on the weather, and even held her boobs, making it harder for Butthole to shift his eyes upwards._

 _I kicked him under the table to wake him from his stupor._

 _(I will never admit it to anyone but what Bella did also made my little guy below notice, though not so little as he's actually proudly huge.)_

 _When Tyler realized that I was seconds away from murdering him, the butthole finally had the sense to get up, saying, "I guess you should just give me this Kate's phone number then," as parting words to Bella._

 _My sweet girl retorted, "I can't, she's got no cell. She's only eight."_

 _Bewildered, Tyler finally left us alone. After that, Bella asked, "What was that all about?"_

" _You're just adorable even butthole's cannot help but notice," was my word vomit._

" _That's disgusting," she says, again taking the literal sense of the word. "Although, what was not disgusting was you kissing me like that in front of him, like marking me. That was hot." I guess, though she takes words literally, that doth not make a Bella stupid._

" _So, how's your mother been?"_ Bella spoke on the other line, making me snap out of my musings.

"Well, same old, same old," I responded, sighing. "Still scolding Jake and Seth unnecessarily and still making my head hurt. But I am trying to understand her. Apparently, her and husband number three are in the process of yet another divorce so she's in a tough situation."

" _Poor Edtard. It must be difficult to be the parent of your mother."_

Again, her wordplay is unique, like she owns her own language.

"How about you? What are you doing?" I asked instead.

" _I'm trying not to drown under Statue of Liberty."_ Though I couldn't make sense what she was saying – which happens a lot of time when I'm talking to Bella – I pretended. This, again, is becoming a routine of ours: her, saying confusing sentences; and me, pretending I understand and playing along.

So I played along.

"Well, try not to get smashed in the process. She's kind of heavy."

" _Please, she weighs nothing. She's all air and water solidified."_

"Edward…" Suddenly, I heard Elizabeth call from the living room.

"In here! Wait," I shouted back, before resuming my talk with Bella on my phone. "Sorry about that. It's mother again, and she, err, needs me again for something, so I have to go."

" _Too soon?"_

"Yeah," I answered regrettably. I dreaded going in, knowing that again, she was calling me for another 'small favor' which would, in turn, make me forget the time, thus making me unable to fulfill my promise to Bella.

" _Well, then, take care. And remember a Momzilla will be immobilized if you tell her what's wrong and not try to sugarcoat her."_

And Bella's uncanny ability to pierce through the truth of everything, even easily distracted as she is, also makes her as someone you can't find in a million years. So far, she has never ceased to amaze me.

"I will."

" _Love you Edtard."_

"Love…"

She said the words so casual, like she's been telling me them for a long time that I almost said it myself. But I stopped just in time to retract, and said instead, "Love to see you later. Take care."

When I hanged up on Bella, I walked to the living room to find Elizabeth looking at me accusingly.

"It was her again, isn't it?"

I sighed, tired of all of these tirades. "She has a name, mother. Her name's Bella."

"Huh," she huffed, rolling her eyes. "Such a pretentious name for a young girl," she muttered. I got a little irked about that.

"Mother, I'll let you know that she more than lives up to her name. And can you please stop judging her before you even met her? She's important to me. She's my girlfriend."

Well, she will be, when she finally realized her title.

When _I_ will finally make her realize that she's mine.

Elizabeth raised one of her eyebrows at what I said.

Airily, she remarked, "Well then, I am _dying_ to meet this girl that was so important to you, you wouldn't spare one minute with your mom."

Oh, crap.

* * *

 **A/N: Love it? Not so much? Made you wish I didn't update at all? Please let me know below. Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 8: Part Two of The Date

**A/N:** **For those of you who've seen the first posted Chapter 8 (which I immediately took down) I apologize, because I realized later that I posted my draft! The real chapter is this one. It's almost the same with the first chapter 8, except for the BPOV at the last part, with scene time 10:00PM.**

 **I apologize for the inconvenience.**

* * *

 **Bella: The Fate Tamperer** **  
** **Chapter 8, Part 2 of 3 of** _ **The Date**_ **: "Dating a Millionaire"**

 **BPOV**

 **Rescheduled-First-Date-so-Bella-is-Helping-Rose-At-the-Meantime Day: 10: 30 AM**

"Tell me again the circumstances of this family dinner."

I am on a serious-mission mode because one of my best friends, Rosalie Hale, is just about to subject herself into the second scariest and daunting thing ever: to meet her boyfriend's family. The one topping the charts is seeing a cockroach fly… towards you.

Really. Scary.

Have you seen a cockroach fly before? I promise you, it'll give you nightmares.

I still dream about it.

"I already told you, the dinner will consist of me getting tongue-tied, looking all shades of stupid in front of those really smart people, and then dying, all in that order."

Rosalie, who can usually be spotted as a fashion magnate and had impeccable icy vibes, is, sadly, now dead. She is replaced by someone whose hair escapes its ponytail and strewn haphazardly around her face, whose make up is nonexistent, and whose pimple on her nose is so big I can fit two Emmetts inside it and still have space for myself… and Alice as well.

I knew those Alien invasions would soon come true!

"Bella, just please help me out! I really don't know what to do. It's the first time I'm meeting his family and I'm really, really freaking out. They're from New York, and they own millions-worth of businesses there, and I'm just this ordinary girl from the small town of Forks with ordinary, construction-worker dad and ordinary, cake-baker mom. I am sure they will never approve of me!"

She kinda looks like she is about to combust… and not in a good, sex-crazed kmway. Should I start telling her to write her will…?

"Emmett has no manners. He is a slob, and always steals food when we're eating like he never eats enough. Are you sure we are talking about the same person? Or that we are even in the correct house? There must be a different person who owns this house whose name is also Emmett; the boyfriend I know you have could not possibly own this son-of-a-gun, humongous mansion."

A quick survey on the monstrosity that is Emmett's house and I am convinced that we are talking about a different person, one that I am 99.9% sure Rosalie is seeing on the side whose name is also Emmett. (99.9%, like in the germs commercial? That really convinces the shit out of me.) The Emmett I know – the guy who steals my food all the time – is nothing like the suave, son of multi-million business tycoons that Rose seems to be describing right now.

"Bella, you are not helping. I'm really desperate here! Please help me come up with a way – a plan – to convince them to accept me in their family," she cried, pulling out her hair.

"How come you've been with Emmett for a year and yet you've never met his family…? Oh, I know, they have probably abandoned Emmett and left him here for good that's why you never see them. I kinda feel sorry towards Emmett; it probably sucks to be disowned by his family just because he burps like a whale and eats like a pig."

"Ugh! Where is Alice when you need her?"

Earlier, Alice apologized to us that she can't help Rose because she will also be on a family dinner with her boyfriend Jasper somewhere in Seattle, to attend a charity event, so she is out of commission. If I know better, I'm sure she orchestrated the whole lie to get out of the trouble we are facing right now. The evil little witch.

"And look at my pimple!" Rose exclaims then, pointing at the big, red, juicy circle on top of her nose. "This is the worst timing ever."

"It's ready to pop out," I commented, making Rose bawl her eyes out.

"Oh, Bella, they wouldn't like me at all I'm sure! They'd think I'm stupid, and poor, and not suited for their son. And they're even bringing friends over. I'm gonna make a complete fool out of myself, I just know it."

What Rose doesn't realize is that she's perfectly describing her boyfriend...

"Oh, Rosie," I cooed, hugging this person who I am still quite convinced is not my friend at all. "We can work this out, you and me. We can find a way."

"H-how?" she said, sobbing on my boobs.

"They're from New York, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"In Manhattan?"

"Y-yeah, that's what Emmett says. He says t-they send him monthly money u-until he finishes high school and so after, h-he can move with them. W-we had it all planned out: after graduation, we'll m-move to Manhattan to attend c-college."

"I see. Well, if that's the case, we just have to put the biggest icon in New York City atop a huge cake, and everything will work out."

"What? How's that gonna solve anything?" She looked up to me with confusion.

"New Yorkers are genetically engineered to dislike everywhere except Manhattan. We try to let them see how we find it cool that they live in their city and they'll be eating out of our palms." Really, what is she going to do without me?

At that, she finally laughed as she wipes her face free of her tears.

"I can't believe you just quoted McDreamy to me," she chuckles.

I was aghast. "Who the hell is this McDreamy and why the hell is he copying me?"

Is Rose seeing a third guy aside from her legal boyfriend Emmett and the one she's seeing on the side Emmett who owns this big mansion? Gah, I didn't know my bestie is a slutty.

"Come on Bella, you don't know McDreamy? From Christian Grey's Anatomy? He and Christian kind of have this kinky, BDSM relationship in the Seattle hospital. They're both hot, gay doctors. They're called Chris-Der."

I sighed, not knowing that aside from being a slutty, my bestie is also a gossip queen.

"Rose, if two people are having gay, BDSM relationship, you shouldn't butt on their business."

She looked at me like I've grown wings, but then dismissed our topic again just like how Alice Brattdon always does when she's no longer making sense.

 _One of these days I'm really gonna let them both see how frustrating…_

"Nevermind. So, this cake? Should we like, put Statue of Liberty on it so they would feel like we are welcoming them? I should go tell my mom so she can make our order a priority. Thank God my mom works in a pastry shop, and they specialize in putting on designs like this on their cakes."

"Yeah, I was thinking we should put an ocean on the cake so they'll get the whole Manhattan feel…." At the look Rose gave me, I backtracked. "I'm just kidding," I lied, saddened that the ocean will not be added.

 _Goodbye, waves…_

"Okay, I should call my mom now," she said, taking her phone on the table of the kitchen which is just one of the many partitions of the McCarty's huge mansion. Did I say the place is huge? Like, I don't know why we are here right now; I remember Rose saying legal-boyfriend Emmett asked her to stay on the place to prepare the house for the McCarty's arrival, as well as trusting her in the kitchen 'cause apparently she's a great cook, but why are we invading Emmett's house? You know, Emmett, the other guy Rose is seeing on the side, and not legal-boyfriend Emmett?

"…Yes, mom. A huge Statue of Liberty… Like in an hour. Can you do that…? Please mom, I need them to like me… Okay, love you too."

As she was about to hang up, I just couldn't help it. I needed to do it.

"Ow! What was that for Bella?!" Rose wails as she cups her now bleeding nose.

I smiled sheepishly at her as I walked backwards, palms up.

"Oh my god, goddamn it! You just popped my pimple!"

"Sorry. It just has to be done," was my brilliant excuse.

"Ow, I'm bleeding!" she cried, horror-struck, looking at her now bloody hands courtesy of her bloody nose.

"Ew!"

"Bella Swan!"

I ran.

* * *

 **Rescheduled-First-Date-so-Bella-and-Rose-Prepares-for-the-McCarty's-Arrival-Instead Day: 7:00 PM**

Ever since my Edtard called me at 11AM while Rose and I were busy salvaging what was left of the Statue of Liberty cake we have knocked over and which fell on us (I blame Medusa, Emmett's cat who was always hovering near us, competing with me for Rose's attention – the bitch-feline), he has never called me back, thus breaking his promise again.

I was not freaking out about this at all.

I am the epitome of serene.

"Oh my god, stop it Bella! You're making me nervous as well. He is probably busy that's why he can't call you. And if you ruin my make up, I am telling you I will castrate that Edward Cullen of yours so you'll never have sex with him."

"Never ever threatened me with something like that Rose!" I wailed, hurt. "Do anything to me, take away my Ed Sheeran standee, or even chop my head off, or take away my virginity, but never threaten to harm Edtard's little-big guy! I've never even touched it yet, or seen how pretty it is, or bought it clothes. It must be needing his mama's care right now."

Rose rolled her eyes, like I was the one who was insane here.

"Gosh, who'd have thought you know how to talk dirty." Oh, she hasn't seen anything yet.

After a few more blacks and blues on her face, I was finally finished doing Rose's make-up. I'm kinda proud of myself that I only wailed once… eight times about Edtard not calling me yet.

"Done!" I announced, happy about what I have done. She looks like a sweet angel.

"Let me see," Rose says, as I handed her the mirror. When she saw her face, I knew she liked it a lot.

"AHHHHHHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE?!"

See? Loved it.

"It's called gothic. It's kind of a hit in New York," I explained. Google recommended it to me, so I was sure I was right.

"This is _not_ gothic! This is…! This is the make-up you wanted to have if you wanted the McCartys to bar you from ever seeing their son!" Gee, overdramatic much? "And what have you done to my nose?! Why did you put a red circle on it, like I'm Rudolph?!"

"You were so worried about your pimple that I put a red circle on it. See? It's no longer obvious."

"Ugh! I hate you so much right now!"

She then started wiping it with tissues before I even stopped her…

"Why did you do that?!" I shrieked, alarmed.

"I can't face them like this Bella," she said, as she continued to wipe her face and nose with tissues. "Why is it so hard to remove this make-up?" she then muttered, as she started briskly wiping her nose off the red stuff I put there. I discreetly hid the red marker I used behind my back.

Just then, a sound of a car's engine and people talking could be heard outside. Rose froze with her hand holding the tissue in mid-air.

"Fuck," she hissed after a moment. "They're early! Oh no, I look like the love-child of Joker and Kung Fu Panda!" she wailed, about to have a meltdown again.

Well, I didn't know those two were a couple. Go-figure, they like bestiality.

Then she turned a crazed, paranoid look on me.

"Bella, do something! Stall them! I have to fix my face; they can't see me like this."

Oh crap, I'm not really good at dealing with snotty, rich people!

"What am I gonna do?"

"Just talk to them about how great of a friend I am, or how I am with Emmett. And never, _ever_ mention embarrassing stuff."

Oh, okay. Easy peasy.

"Like that one time the principal caught you doing it on his desk?" I clarified.

"Especially not something like that!"

"Okay, calm down. Leave it up to me. I won't talk about you doing it with Emmett on the principal's office, or on the McCarty's pool outside, or the time you told me you did it in their dining room table where we are about to eat now."

"No," she whispered, still looking crazed and paranoid.

"Got it," I said, saluting her like she's a chief, and then I ambled my way to meet the McCartys.

The first thing I registered upon meeting who I assumed to be Mrs. McCarty was how thin and tall she is. She reminds me of Morticia in The Addams and Evves Family.

The second thing is that the man who I assumed to be Mr. McCarty is short, fat and has thinning hair. He, on the other hand, looks a lot like Professor Slugshorn in Hurry Poopter.

Lastly, the third thing I noted was that they are accompanied by two people – a woman and a man who are far too young to have Emmett as their child – who look like their eyebrows are permanently perched five inches up from their eyes, and the bones of their jaws are permanently arched upward so that they could literally look down on people.

I gulped.

An unusually quiet Emmett walked towards me with a small smile, and _oh my gosh_ , the end of the world must really be near! For Emmett, slob and food thief Emmett, is wearing a tux!

I must be in an alternate universe.

Morticia McCarty then asked, "Is this woman the Rosalie you've been telling us about, Emmett?" She then gestured at me and I remember that I should be stalling them, so before Emmett could introduce me, I interrupted him.

"Rose and Emmett did it on the principal's table."

They looked at me like I've suddenly learned to speak Latin.

"No, I didn't mean that. I mean Rose and I did it on the principal's table."

The two people who were with Emmett's parents looked traumatized.

"Not that I see her like that, I mean I'm her best friend so I've seen everything about her, even her waxed cooters, but I don't sway that way. What I am telling you is that she's gorgeous and kind and great for, especially with and on top of your son."

Mrs. McCarty was so horrified she looks like she was about to cry as she places her hand on her mouth.

"But I'm not supposed to say that she's great with your son like how they did it on the pool outside or how they did it on the principal's table."

Emmett looked like he was choking.

"Oh no! It was me! Rose didn't do any of that! I did it with your son!"

At that exact moment, I saw a horror-stricken Rose a few feet away from us, obviously having heard the last thing that I said.

"Oh no Rose, I didn't do it with Emmett! It was you who was on top of the principal's desk and on the pool and on the table and on the broom's room!"

Emmett finally recovered from his choking, enough to introduce me, coughing to get their attention.

"Mom, dad, this is Bella Swan, Rosalie's best friend."

Trying to muster what was left of my dignity, I stride towards them, offering my hand for a handshake.

It took Morticia McCarty a few hesitant moments before she reluctantly placed her hand on mine.

"Siobhan McCarty, pleasure to meet you."

"Bella Swan. I'm sorry about telling you Rose did it with your son on the desk and pool and on the broom's and on…"

"I get it, Bella, it's quite alright," she then cut me; looking like she was afraid I would say more that she didn't want to hear.

After I shook hands with everyone in the room, except for Rose and Emmett, and repeating my apology to each of them, a red-faced and very red-nosed Rose shyly stepped forward. As soon as Emmett saw her, he was right by her side quickly to proudly introduce her.

"Mom, dad, Uncle Benjamin, Aunt Tia, this is Rosalie, my girlfriend."

For the first time in my life, I saw the usually confident Rosalie shyly and nervously shake their hands as she said, "I'm Rose, nice to meet you."

The tension in the room was so thick I could try to slice it but it won't budge.

Oh hell.

* * *

 **Recheduled-First-Date-So-Far-Seeming-to-Turn-Disastrous-with-the-McCartys Day: 8:00 PM**

It has been an hour.

An hour of awkward stories and quiet dinner where the only things you could hear are the scraping and the grating of the utensils as they collide with the plates.

And it has been an hour of no calls from Edtard. To say that I was worried would be a colossal understatement.

"I really have to go," I whispered to Rose for the fifth time, worrying about preparing for only two hours for my and Edtard's date… if it would even push through. I was starting to lose hope.

"I know, I'm sorry," she whispered back. "Give me ten more minutes, and then maybe we could excuse you. I'm kinda scared to talk to them."

Just then, a sharp look courtesy of Uncle Benjerkmin was directed at us. I glared at him for the tenth time.

A few more awkward silences followed and I couldn't take it any longer.

"So you're both businessmen." I directed the question to Mr. and Mrs. McCarty, but it was Benjerkmin who answered.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, we all are. I hope you understand what that entails."

"No, I don't, 'cause I'm a four-year-old kid who doesn't know the meaning of 'businessmen'." I couldn't help my mouth, and I received a painful pinching from Rosalie for that comment.

"Mr. Shark," Rosalie interrupted, trying to move the attention to her. "I heard you own an automobile company. It must be interesting to head and oversee building of cars."

"Well," the Jerk continued, a rightly snotty smirk perched on his face like he poops actual bars of gold, "it would be interesting for people like us in the business world, which I think the likes of you will never understand." _What was this snotty, bald man trying to insinuate? That we are stupid and so far beneath him and his richy-rich world? The JERK!_ He's not bald at all, but to me, he might as well be. "We were just waiting for Emmett to get over what's dragging him to stay in this small town," a sharp glance to Rose, and a small growl from me, "so that he would take over the McCarty's family business."

"Uncle Benjamin, you know I told you I'm more invested in sports than in business," a serious Emmett, one I've never seen before, answered the Jerk in an equally snotty way. "Please stop insinuating that I work for the McCarty's Enterprise."

I was tempted to make my salsa dance at the top of the table to cheer Emmett on. Oh, come to think of it, that dance originated from New York, so he might _actually_ like it.

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Let's not talk about business while we're eating," Morticia-Siobhan McCarty admonished. "So, you and Rose have been together for a year?" She asked Emmett, who in response finally showed his famous dimpled simple.

"Yes mom. We're really serious about each other. Rose here is so smart I'm sure they'll be begging to take her in Columbia University."

Emmett held the hand of the swooning Rose who had a sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him.

"I'm sure your son is exaggerating," she objected demurely.

"No, I'm not," fondly contradicted by Emmett. "Your GPA is 4.0. I'm sure they'll see how great of an addition you will be to them."

"Well that's lovely," commented Mr. McCarty, "What were you planning to take?"

"I wanted to take a pre-law course, then after I wanted to get into criminal law. I hope I could make it. I'm kinda passionate about that."

"Oh that's great," Mrs. McCarty commented, smiling. "Is building your own law firm one of your plans?"

"No, uhm, I actually wanted to be a Public Defender's Attorney. I see people being wronged all the time and not being given the justice they deserved only because they can't afford to hire a private lawyer. I wanted to represent them."

I was so proud of Rose at that moment all I wanted to do was spell it out to BenJerkmin and Twatia how awesome my friend is. Thankfully, I was able to stop myself on time before I started taunting them like a five-year-old.

"That's great!" beamed Mrs. McCarty. "I'm sure you'll achieve that someday."

"That's not the only thing she's great at," a similarly proud Emmett announced. "All the food we're eating right now has been made by her. She's been slaving in the kitchen since this morning so that you'll be able to taste the best dishes in the world."

A chorus of praises echoed Emmett's declaration, making Rose finally look at ease and humbled.

"Her mom baked the cake," I then commented, to which both Mama and Papa McCartys looked at the cake I was pointing at the end of the table. "She works in the pastry shop and can create cakes like that in under an hour."

"Wow, it's…" Siobhan McCarty looked like she was trying to make sense of what she was seeing.

"The Statue of Liberty, to welcome you New Yorkers here in Forks," I explained. "Well, it was supposed to be. We kind of knocked it over so it looks that way now, but I took pictures of it when it was just delivered. You'll see how great it looks like. Let me just get my phone…"

I then fished for my phone from my Virtue bag – _still no call or even text from Edtard!_ – so that I could locate the pictures of the cake.

"Oh no," I said in horror after a moment of scanning the pictures. "I didn't notice that I used the front camera so I only took pictures of my boobs!"

When I had another word vomit, I looked at the McCarty's, horrified I ruined the mood. An eerie quiet followed, but then, to my surprise, Mr. McCarty started guffawing in laughter.

"You are so funny, I'm crying every time when something comes out of your mouth!"

To my horror, Mrs. McCarty started laughing as well, and Rose and Emmett laughed too.

Mrs. McCarty had tears in her eyes when she exclaimed, "I thought the cake is supposed to be a penis!" shocking me and Rose, and we soon followed laughing loudly.

"And you don't know," I tried to say between my laughter, "you don't know Em and Rose had sex at this very table!" I added.

Mr. and Mrs. McCarty, and Rose and Em froze mid-laugh.

"Uhm, it was a joke," I lied.

They looked at me like they didn't believe me at all.

"It was me. I had sex with Rose at this table…"

"ENOUGH!"

Suddenly, an infuriated BenJerkmin rose in the table, putting back the awkward mood around us from earlier.

"I came here, to this Podunk town of Forks only to hear Emmett's refusal to inherit your business, to this unsavory, cheap and disgusting food and to hear the indecent thing your son have been up to with his… small-town, cheap girlfriend?"

"Benjamin!" cried a horrified Mrs. McCarty.

"You promised, Randolph," he turned to Mr. McCarty. "You promised Emmett and Claire to each other so that our family will finally be united."

"Don't bring that up here Benjamin…" cautioned Mr. McCarty, but he was immediately cut off by a fuming BenJerkmin.

"No! That is the only reason why I am here! I will not tolerate this nonsense."

"Benjamin," Mrs. McCarty cried, "Claire is four. And you know we haven't finalized anything yet."

Oh my gosh, they want to make Emmett a child molester perv!

"It won't matter in a few years. And an agreement is an agreement; I would make sure it will get realized."

"Benjamin, let's not talk about that here," a slowly becoming irate Mr. McCarty stated. "It's hardly fair to Emmett for us to decide for him, and I would not allow you to ruin this dinner."

"Ruin this dinner? _Ruin this dinner?!_ It has already been ruined by that good-for-nothing gold-digger and her equally dumb and probably mentally retarded friend!"

"I WOULD NOT TOLERATE YOU SPEAKING ABOUT BELLA THAT WAY!"

Shocked, I turned towards a fuming Rose who had stood with her hands balled in fists at her side.

"I could take it if you say whatever you think about me, but not with Bella! You don't know her, so I implore you, sir, not to try to belittle her or slight her mind, because I promise you, if you do, I will kick you out here faster than you can scream for mercy and you will never wish to have set foot in Forks. Ever. Believe me, I can do that."

"What an insolent, little bitc –"

"STOP IT ROSE!" I cried, unable to watch my friend's dinner with the McCarty's get ruined because of me. "I'm so sorry to have ruined this evening. I'll have to go. I'm really very, sorry."

"Bella, don't…"

Before she could stop me, I was out the door in seconds.

* * *

 **Rescheduled-First-Date-with-the-Promise-Breaking-Fool Day: 11:45 AM**

 **EPOV**

"Jake, stop hiding behind the door and tell me what happened." In seconds, my phone that was supposed to be my link to Bella has taken a dive into the fishbowl. I've been trying to use Esme's hair dryer for a while now, hoping it would do the trick and make my phone work again, only to no avail.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I was just playing with it then Seth knocked onto me, and it just flew," says a repenting Jacob as he slowly comes out behind the door, looking at his foot in contrite.

I sighed, knowing I couldn't do anything about it now.

"Okay, how about this: you ask Aunt Esme about her phone so that I could call my friend."

"Aunt Esme just left for her work. She says there was an important client she has to meet."

Fuck.

"I'm really sorry Edward," Jacob asked, giving me the puppy-dog eyes, and I knew I wouldn't be able to resist him.

"That's okay, buddy. Just that there is an important girl I have to call before noon, but now I can't anymore." I haven't memorized Bella's number yet, and I don't know where she is right now so I don't know how to get to her. I already called her home but her mother said she's not there and they also don't know where she went. "Let's just hope my phone works if I left it drying."

"What's your girl's name?" Jacob's soft voice asked me as he hesitantly approached me.

"Her name's Bella." I sighed sadly, remembering her slightly crazed yet dazzling smile, which puts a damper on my heart 'cause it seems like I won't be able to fulfill my promise to her again. "It means beautiful in Italian."

" _Is_ she beautiful?"

"Yes." I nodded. "More than she'll ever know."

There is one option though, to contact Bella, and that is if I burrow mother's phone, but I knew I could never get away with it.

And like she has a six-sense about these things, mother's loud call broke the quiet of the house.

" _Edward!"_ She wailed, sobbing from the living room. _"I think I should die instead."_

I sighed, feeling like I've run a thousand miles. I stood to pat Jacob's hair.

"Let's go to our mother."

"She's been crying since eight. Seth and me don't know what to do with her."

"Me too, buddy. But even still, let's just try to cheer her up."

When we get to the living room, the sight made me stop on my tracks:

A sobbing Elizabeth was holding a knife against her wrist.

"What do you think? Should I continue slicing my wrist? Do you think he'll come back if I said I attempted to kill myself?"

I knew she just wanted attention, and I knew she really wouldn't do it – just like the hundred times she's pretended to do something like this – but really? To show this while my little brothers are around?

"Fuck," I muttered.

* * *

 **Rescheduled-First-Date-After-the-Disastrous-Dinner-with-the-McCartys Day: 10:00 PM**

 **BPOV**

I should have fucking brought my coat.

In the November night, the impending winter season is slowly turning the weather into a bitter cold, and I was without my usual armor against it. Because of my melodramatic exit at the McCartys, I also forget my truck there, and I just walked and walked until I realized I should have been driving instead.

Really fucking splendid.

But I can't go back now. I don't want to be a burden to Rose anymore.

Shivering, I took my phone out from my bag to check the time, and it registered ten in the evening.

It was then that I realized that Edward, even after my numerous attempted calls that could not reach him and even if he didn't answer or call me back, assuming he would go through our date still, would probably be on his way to my house right about now hoping to pick me up.

But I knew that if that were true, then Renee or Charlie would have already called by now informing me about Edward.

So that only leaves the conclusion that Edward is a no-show for our date.

And I didn't want to go back home and face Renee or Charlie. One look at me and they'd know something happened, and for sure the story of Rose or Edward would come spilling out of my mouth. And I didn't want them to think badly of Rose or Edward.

It was then, contemplating where I should go, that a loud ringing of my phone scared the crap out of me.

"Oh shit!" I muttered, but when I saw Edward's name, indicating that I received a text message, it was like all the weight weighing on my chest had suddenly dissipated.

Giddily, I opened the text message, knowing that this would be what I needed to brighten up my day...

And then my face fell.

 _ **Hi Bella,**_

 _ **I'm really sorry for not being able to call. And I'm really sorry but I would have to cancel the date. Something came up at home, and I can't leave.**_

 _ **Sorry...**_

 _ **And the bigger thing I have to be sorry for, I guess, is for leading you on. I should have not done that, because I realize that I can never reciprocrate your feelings.**_

 _ **Please don't wait for me,**_

 _ **Edward**_

"W-what...?"

I should have known! I should have known that this day would never get right. That the broken promises of calls, the times I couldn't reach him were the indications that nothing about our date will ever happen, or that I would ever matter to him.

Why was I so _stupid_? How did I led myself to believe that Edward would ever cherish me and even _fall in love with me?_

Look at where I am now: all alone in a darkened road, shivering from the cold.

I should have never forced him to me before.

And that's when I finally cried real tears, my knees giving up below me right on the pavement. The whole day of frustrations catching up on me: how Edward denied me to his mother in the morning, how he was always quick to drop his call, and how I turned Rose's dinner into a disaster.

I am the disaster.

It was all my fault.

And looked what I got out of it: a flimsy text message, and not even a call, of rejection without much detail why he was rejecting me. It seems like I don't even deserve face-to-face conversation from him.

His kisses...

His promises...

The way he tried to be all gentleman to me...

All gone.

How could I be so _stupid_?

Suddenly, I heard a noise.

A light and a loud horn blare should have made me rouse, and made me look why a van was skidding haphazardly towards me away from the road, but I couldn't move.

I closed my eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: A little dramatic ending. Well, we won't get anywhere if we don't put a little drama. But have faith, dear friends. All will be well.**

 **Also, notice that when Bella is really serious she calls her Edtard "Edward"?**

 **Let's hope Part 3 would finally be in Bella's favor.**

 **P.S. Show me how you love/like/kinda dislike this chapter by filling out the box below.**


	10. Chapter 9: Part Three of The Date

**A/N: Remember the prologue? About Mr. Fate? Just saying, you have to remember it.**

 **Bella: The Fate-Tamperer** **  
**Chapter 9, Part 3 of 3 of _The Date_ : "Dating a Promise-Breaking Fool"

* * *

 **Cancelled-Date-so-our-Heroine-is-going-Crazier-than-usual-on-the-Pavement Day: 10:45PM**

 **BPOV**

Remember when in the movies there is this slow-motion editing when the character is seconds away from getting hit by a car and then he remembers every important moment he'd had and people he's been with in his life before he, you know, dies or get hit? Well, it turns out that that is a load of bull. In reality, the adrenaline wouldn't make things slow down for you, nor would it make you an instant-photographic memory genius. It wouldn't even make you remember your damn name!

The truth is, all the adrenaline would do is make you insanely focused on the details of your surroundings while your brain works overtime absorbing and cataloging every information that passes through your senses, thus making you all confused.

There is not even a thought, not even a single, "Oh shit, I'm gonna die." Nada.

Kinda makes you think that everyone in the movie industries are bullshitters and kinda makes you want a refund from all their bullshit movies.

So when it was me in that clichéd about-to-get-hit-by-a-car moment, I closed my eyes – which is a dumb thing to do if I wanted to escape death, and believe me even with all the drama I've had for the night, I still wanted to live – because my mind was a soft goo.

And when it registered that I should have took off, I opened my eyes again… and stared right into the big blue eyes of a rugged man.

"Gah!" was my brilliant response as he stared at me like I'm a foreign object.

"Did you think I was gonna kill you? Sorry, didn't intend for that to happen," the fool said without even retracting his face which was only inches away from mine.

"Sorry? That's all you've got to say, sorry? You almost killed me!" I shrieked in mixed freight and anger, 'cause he's all rugged and moustache and beard and smelly and he might be a rapist or a serial killer and I am seriously judgmental.

He still didn't withdraw his face.

"Well what was I supposed to say…? Wait, are you crying just because you thought I was gonna run you over? Hey, don't cry."

"You were running like one-ninety miles per hour, your tires were squeaking, you were not even driving at the proper road, and you almost killed me!"

"Yeah, well, I kinda like to drive fast," was his cavalier answer with a shrug.

"God! Move away from me, you're all smelly!"

"Alright, alright," he whined, and finally, _finally_ retracted, starting to sit beside me instead. "I didn't expect you to be all this dramatic. I thought you were a cool kid."

When his words registered, I whipped my face to my right so fast I was the definition of "whiplash".

"What do you mean you thought I was a cool kid? Do you know me?" I asked while watching him get comfortable beside me on the sidewalk.

"Well, yeah. You're Isabella Marie Swan. You prefer Bella, not because it means beautiful, but because your grandma's name is Isabella and you don't like her. You're seventeen, and have an ugly obsession with the singer Ed Sheeran, which I don't understand 'cause I sing better than the guy. And you've been chasing Edward Cullen ever since you met him, causing all the trouble in the higher ups 'cause that guy is not supposed to be yours."

With all the revelations that guy said about me, my eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets and my mouth was in a big "O" you'd think I was having an orgasm… which, sadly, I never even had before. The pathetic life of a virgin who doesn't use her fingers…

When I recovered, my mind caught up to ask the one thing that any sane person in my shoes would ask at that moment:

"How can you say you sing better than Ed Sheeran? I don't believe you; you have to prove it to me."

Because that shit is important.

"Sure," the fool, who was too full of himself, responded, and then proceeded to clear his throat, readying to sing.

" _Darlin' ah, will, be loven' yah, 'til, yahr seventeen.  
An bebe ah, will, be on your knees, 'til, it's evergreen.  
I'm thinkin' 'bout haaa, people fall in love in mysterious place, like the thrum-beats of the stars…"_

I stopped him before he could continue.

"That was horrible."

"Well, I was on a concert yesterday so my voice is all scratchy."

"I doubt that. But to humor you, how many people came in this supposed concert?"

"Hundreds of thousands of people…" At my look, he squirmed. "Alright, alright, just one, very drunk person. Geez, you're worse than a cop in an interrogation room, and I had experience being interrogated by the toughest cop in the world."

Oh, the bravado…

"Yeah, well, my father's a cop. I was raised to interrogate intensely"

"Oh that's right, but nothing good it did him I heard, 'cause you get your way anyway."

"Well, he's never really one for rules… he does have rules, but he lets me bend them all the time so they're moot."

"Very Chief Charlie. Always caves on his only daughter. That's what we need for a tough police chief."

"He mostly handles animal attack so anyone can do his job."

"Well, that's true."

"Wait," I then asked, remembering how shady he seemed when he told me all about myself… "I don't want to put a damper on our conversation because we really seemed to be hitting it off…"

"Right…"

"…but how come you know who I am?"

At this, he started picking on his nose, which is not at all gross.

"Because I was supposed to know who you are."

"And why is that? Are you an unwanted fairy god-father or something?" Seriously, if that's true, that this is who the 'higher-ups' designated to me: A bearded hobo who claims to sing better than Ed Sheeran but sounds more like his grandpa when he's a thousand years old, then I gotta have to give them a piece of my mind and some other piece as well…

"Nah, god-fathers are so, like, eighteenth century. We're on the twenty-first now, so we're all upgraded."

Because that is the most normal thing to hear.

"So, what are you then?"

"I'm Mr. Fate."

Okay.

"Right, so what are you?"

He looked at me like I was the one insane here.

"YOU DON'T GET IT? I'm the coolest creature ever! I'm Mr. Fate!"

"Faith… like you go to the church and pray…"

"NO! Jesus, I can't believe you don't know how awesome we are."

"Your kind's not really not that popular…"

"Listen," he interrupted, looking decisively at me and holding my shoulders like what he was to convey would make or break the survival of humanity, "I am Mr. Fate. First name Leonard – 'cause we were given different first names – but last name Fate. _Your_ Mr. Fate. I make sure you get what you're destined for and push you towards the right direction. If you decide to bomb a high school gym, I have to whisper in your ear and tell you to make fireworks instead. If you decide to murder your school teacher, I'd have to get you all confused so that you'll just irritate him instead. I am in charge with your destiny."

I was horrified.

"So you're to blame why Mr. Banner is still alive!"

"You've made my head ache countless of times with your ridiculous and absurd decisions; I'd have to always make sure you only impact minimal damages to people."

I was kind of speechless.

But do I believe him?

It's like asking if Ramsay Boltron was a good kid in Game of Chrones.

The answer is of course, yes.

"Aren't I the coolest?" He asked with a beaming smile; his beard kinda makes him look like a thin Santa Claus.

"I feel like I got the short end of the stick."

"Awesome!" he exclaimed, not understanding the meaning of what I said.

"So, why have you suddenly decided to show yourself to me today? Aren't people like you supposed to be all mysterious?"

"You were crying like crazy. I had to intervene."

At the mention of my tears, I remembered what happened with Rose and Edtard and I started bawling my eyes out.

"See? I had to calm you down. You're making me look bad in the higher ups," he said, gesturing upwards.

"And all along I was wondering if you're a pedophile!" I cried.

"Please, I'm like gorgeous and forty – I can get any Ms. Fate I wanted," he said all arrogantly, wiping the finger he used on his nose on his shirt. "So, you were crying about this Edward?"

"My Edtard."

"Right."

"He didn't want to see me again!" I cried.

"He wasn't fated for you anyway."

"WHAT?!"

He rolled his eyes, like him declaring the love of my existence wasn't fated for me is just the same as him saying it always rains in Forks – it's just how things are.

"Please, spare me the theatrics."

"But you're talking about my whole life here!"

"He was supposed to be with this blond girl…"

"TANYA?! THAT BITCH!"

"Not her."

 _Then who?_

Like he could read my mind, he answered my unspoken question with, "A new girl will come along. He was supposed to be with her. You, on the other hand, was supposed to die alone, and a virgin."

 _No scarier words were said._

I cried louder. "B-but what can I d-do? I want-wanted him!"

He shrugged. "Just do whatever you always do."

"Which is?"

"Tamper with your fate."

"Wha-"

Before I could question him further on what he meant by that, a sudden noise from afar – like the siren of a police car – made him suddenly stand up, all alert and frantic.

"Oh shit! I have to go!"

"But I haven't asked…"

"Give me your phone!"

"This?" I asked, showing him my phone I was holding. He immediately snatched it. "What are you gonna do with it?"

"Thanks for this," he said, not answering my question.

It took him only a few seconds before he was on his car, and next thing I knew, his car was skidding away from me.

"Wait, I haven't asked you yet how to tamper with my fate…!"

But he was already gone.

Only a few seconds later, several police cars stopped on where I was. I recognized Deputy Mark driving one of said cars when he rolled his window down.

"Bella?" he asked, surprised upon seeing me.

"Deputy Mark!"

"What are you…?" But then he shook his head. "Never mind. Have you seen a guy driving a red pick-up pass you by? You'd notice him immediately even if it's dark; his window is not tinted, and he sports a huge beard and moustache."

Beard. Moustache. "You mean Mr. Fate? Leonard?"

"Him! That's him! Where did he go?"

"He took a turn to the right," I directed, gesturing with my hand at the fork of the road ahead of us.

Next thing I knew, Deputy Mark was relaying my information in the walkie-talkie thingy they use in the police force to alert his teammates, and the other police cars were heading that way.

When he was done, he started leaving as he said, "Thanks Bella. Really appreciate it."

"Wait!" I stopped him before he could start driving away. "Why were you chasing after him? What has he done?"

He looked at me with a huge warning like the warning should be screaming from his face. "Bella, that guy is a thief. He stole something precious from the White House."

"He stole something from Oh-bama?"

"No, from Tramp. You know, knew President and all. It was something _really_ important." I wonder what that is, 'cause it's Tramp, and I didn't see girls in his car…

"Wait! He stole my phone!" I remembered in shock.

"Oh fuck," the decent police cursed. "He really works fast."

"Wait," I said for the third time, remembering something very important. "He told him he was Mr. Fate! Like he was in charge of my destiny? Like he was not from this world."

"And you believed him?" Whatever he found on my face made him sigh like he was a tired, old man. "Bella, that guy is a habitual liar. He lied about so many things to so many people. He even once told a girl he was one of the princes of England, and that girl found herself on his bed, willingly naked, the next day. Although she did not complain, says he was really good at the sack." He shook his head at the end as though he could not believe the girl.

"But he knows so much about me!"

"He's been here at Forks for days now. It's not hard to gain info about the chief and his family. Especially about you, with all the things you do to liven up this small town…" at my confused look, he stopped himself like he has said more than what he intended. "Look, Bella, do not believe a word that guy has said. He lies for a living."

At that, he finally left me at the sidewalk, still all shocked about what just happened.

Who'd have thought Mr. Fate was actually telling the truth?

You know, when he said he was used to being interrogated by the toughest cop…

* * *

 **Cancelled-Date-because-of-our-Stupid-Moronic-Damning-undeserving-of-the-title-Hero Day: 10:30 PM**

 **EPOV**

I was used to telling the truth about Esme without any inhibitions. Granted, I might get embarrassed sometimes because Esme always almost have no filter so she asks the most cringe-worthy things, but I do tell her things without too many complications.

This is one of those things that fall on the complications.

"…She has calmed down for now, mom. When I reminded her that Seth and Jacob are here, and she shouldn't show them stuff like that, she was immediately contrite. But should we… should we…" it took me few calming breaths to get the words out. "Should we call Child Services?"

I could hear a sigh from the other line; the almost-quiet purring of her car hardly noticeable in the background.

" _That is the right thing to do, but I'm afraid if we do that, she'll get worse. Regardless of how she conducted herself today, she's always been a good mother to them, and I feel like she doesn't deserve that. I'll see what I can do when I get there."_

I sighed, just immensely… tired.

" _How did Jacob and Seth react about what she's done?"_

"Seth was in the other room, so he didn't know what happened. It was only Jake who saw her with a knife on her wrist. I explained to him that his mother was just going through something but she still loves him, and that although what he saw was no normal behavior, she would never do that to them. And that if she has done that before, he should tell me.

"He says Elizabeth has not done any stunt like that before – not while they were present anyway – and he had more questions about what happened, but I told him you'll answer them for him the next day. I didn't know how else to explain. I asked him to go to bed after that."

" _You did great telling him the truth, but not enough to paint a bad picture of his mother or make him aware just how much grave it was for his mother to do that. Jacob's still ten – he was not supposed to shoulder his mother's problems."_

"This is the worst I've seen Elizabeth act like this so far. She must really be in love with Stefan."

" _More like desperate about normality of a relationship. Love alone cannot make you suicidal Edward, no matter what the movies make you think or the books try to tell you. Love, plus a combination of other deadly, intense feelings like desperation, does."_

"So you're saying she has an unhealthy mind."

Another sigh. _"I have to talk to her when I get there. I'm near, just give me five minutes."_

"Okay. Love you."

" _Love you too, honey. Bye."_

When I went back to the living room to sit beside my mother, Elizabeth's puffy eyes, messy hair and red nose made me immediately feel sorry towards her. Despite how she has conducted herself this evening, I was sure that the Elizabeth who I have grown up knowing is not this woman; rather, this is just a shadow of who she really is.

Elizabeth is tough, strict, but kind and rational.

This woman is _not_.

"Is-is Jacob asleep," she asked carefully, as though she was afraid I was angry at her for what she has done.

"He is. He's concerned, but I told him Esme's gonna answer all his questions tomorrow… though I want you to do that instead. I think it'll be better if he hears the explanation from you."

She took a few gulps of water from her glass; from all the crying she's done today, I'm sure she's spent and dehydrated.

"I'm really sorry Edward."

I sighed again for the umpteenth time. "I wanted to easily forgive you, but this is too much. Jacob and Seth do not deserve that."

"No," she shook her head. "Though I am sorry about that as well. Too sorry, really. But I didn't mean that."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I did something." If only there are tears left, she would have been crying again by now.

"What?" I was starting to get worried.

"I did something to…" she gulped. "To your Bella… I texted her."

"To Bella? What about?" Oh no. "And how did you manage to do that? My phone's not working."

It feels like all the blood was drained from my face.

"It is working now… I sent her a text message through your phone, pretending to be you. It was opened to her contact information, and I was just so upset because you were spending every moment thinking about her like I was not even here…"

"Wa-wa-wait, hold on," I stopped her, the blood that got figuratively drained from my face suddenly coming back alarmingly fast. "My phone worked and you texted her?!"

She looked like she was off to the gallows when she nodded.

"What did you text her about." It was like the calm before the storm – I could not even put an intonation to my voice.

She gulped – rightly so.

"I told her your date with her is cancelled…"

"What else."

I just knew there was more.

"And that you couldn't reciprocate her feelings."

At that, it was like a new person possessed me. I just erupted.

"Why would you do that?! You have no right to tell her anything – _no right –_ and yet you go around telling her I don't love her? How could you? Are you not human? And you call yourself my mother? WHY WOULD YOU HURT HER LIKE THAT?!"

"Edward I'm so sorry! When I realized what I did – that it was wrong – it was too late, and you came out of Jacob's room… I just wasn't able to take it back…"

Whatever else she was saying could not reach through me. I just blacked her out, retrieving my now working phone from the table near her to open it.

I started dialing Bella's name frantically, and it was like I was starting to get crazy when I couldn't reach her.

"Bella, pick up. Please, baby, pick up…" I kept muttering, going in circles, and feeling all shades of fucked up.

That was how Esme found Elizabeth and me in the living room when she arrived.

"What's happening?"

Her voice's the only sound that was able to penetrate through me at that time. I scoffed – I couldn't even begin to tell her what my _great_ mother just did to the most important person in my life.

When she realized she couldn't get anything from me, she turned her question to a now slightly quivering Elizabeth.

"What happened Eli?"

"I did something. To Edward's girlfriend, I did something."

"What?!"

If there is another person who is as crazy about Bella as I am, it would be Esme, and this revelation also took her over the edge. "What did you do?"

"Ruined my life, that's what," I muttered, glaring at the evil person who I happen to call my mother Elizabeth.

Ignoring me, a startlingly fuming Esme questioned Elizabeth who was cowering from her.

"What did you do Elizabeth?"

"I texted her – through Edward's phone. Told her th-that their date's cancelled, and that Edward could not love her. I'm so sorry…"

"Elizabeth, why would you do that?!"

Suddenly, Elizabeth started breaking down again.

"I was afraid of her! Of how much she has glued herself to all of you. I was scared of how much hold she have over all of you.

"When I came here, she is all Edward could think of, and all you could talk about when you were trying to calm me down. Even Jacob's started to get curious about her. I was scared everyone's abandoning me! First with Raul, then Felix, and now with Stefan. And to lose you all as well… My family… I just couldn't take it.

"My family abandoned me when I got pregnant with Edward, you all know that. I can't lose you as well."

It was quiet for a moment after that, until Esme started approaching her and sat beside her, hugging her and rubbing her arms soothingly.

"We will never do that, you know that. We are family. You do not abandon family, even if what your experience with yours says otherwise. Us Cullens, we don't do that. And Edward was raised the same way – he was raised to give importance to his family.

"And Elizabeth, you should stop doing this. Not just the dramatics and the attempt at suicide… you should stop badgering Edward with your troubles every time you encounter something difficult in your life. He is your _son_ , not your parent or your friend. He wasn't supposed to handle your problems.

"And what you did tonight, not just with Bella but with your son, Jacob, those were inexcusable. I should be calling the Child Services just for that."

Elizabeth started crying at the prospect of losing her sons.

"But I won't. Not this time, anyway. That is not going to help you with anything. You've never been a bad mother to them, and I know that. And I already told you, we don't abandon families.

"But I won't tolerate what you did. And I can't just sit by and allow you to get away with how you conducted yourself to him and Seth today: with all the scolding, and attempted suicide, and making them feel like it was their fault that you are so miserable."

"It wasn't theirs…" she negated weakly.

"I know. We all know that. But they don't. So what I'm gonna do instead is let them stay with us, just for a couple of days… just until you pull yourself together."

"But how am I gonna do that? I feel like I don't know how to recover from this."

"Your insecurities seem to have rooted far deeper than what just happened with you and Stefan. I am not an expert, but I do feel like you have abandonment issues and it's getting uglier every time you try to bury it deep within you and try to ignore it. Elizabeth, I think you need help."

A few beats, and a tired Elizabeth surrendered by nodding her head.

"I think I really do. Maybe I have to take a break from writing… I'll still be working on the movie, but I'll focus on trying to get better. Stefan and I… I hate to admit it but I feel like it was because of my insecurities that we broke up. I killed our marriage… I'll seek out therapy."

With those words, the heavy tension that was around us all of this time seemed to ease up a little. And for the first time since we welcomed a sobbing Elizabeth in the morning, I felt lighter, calmer, like I could take on the world again.

"Edward," she then softly said, slowly returning back to the mother I was used to seeing. "I'm really sorry about how I used you and made you shoulder my problems. I was abusing you, and I didn't even notice it."

I am not a saint or anything, but just like what Esme said, family is family. I just could never hold a grudge against her.

"I forgive you. And you can come to me for anything. I know it's not my job to do it, but I will take care of you, because I also know that what you've gone through just to make sure I will be alive – even if that means leaving your family for me – you did it because you love me. And I will forgive you because I love you too."

"Thank you so much son," she said, and if she still have enough tears, I feel like she would have been shedding them again. "And about Bella, I don't know if I even have the right to ask but… please forgive me about that."

Told you I'm not a saint.

"That is not mine to give," I blurted out, residual anger still lacing my voice.

"Well, at least, I'd like to meet her… please… someday, if you'll allow me."

Not a saint.

"I'll think about it."

"Which reminds me," Esme then interrupted, as she looked at me with alarm. "Shouldn't you be meeting her at ten?"

Ten…

Oh fuck!

I glanced at my watch and saw that it was quarter to eleven. I was already forty-five minutes late. "Fuck." I muttered, and for once, Esme did not reprimand me.

"I've got to go mom. I've got to go to Bella."

"Wearing that, son?" She gestured at my clothes with incredulity.

I was supposed to wear really cool clothes for our date, be all charming and sweep her off her feet and all that, but right now I was wearing only plain shirt and jeans... and they'll have to do.

I shook my head, needing to leave fast.

"No time to change."

I took my ratty old parka on the couch and was already fishing for my keys when I spoke next. "I have to go mom, mother. Bella must be so worried, especially after receiving that text. I am the world's shittiest boyfriend."

"I'm really sorry about that Edward," a guilty-looking Elizabeth muttered again, and I could not retort with soothing words because as I told her, the forgiveness was not up to me, so instead, I just nodded.

"Bye," I told them as I head outside towards my Volvo.

When I got in my car, my phone rang. Thinking it was Bella, I was fast to look at it, but an unknown number was flashing in my screen.

"Hello, who's this?" I answered, disappointed.

" _Edward?"_ The one on the other line responded. I immediately cataloged the voice.

"Rosalie?"

" _Edward, something happened. You have to find Bella."_

* * *

 **Not-Really-Cancelled-Date-but-our-Lover-Boy's-finally-Trying-to-do-something-about-it Day: 11:30PM**

 **EPOV**

It has been forty-five minutes of torture; forty-five minutes where I felt like I've grown forty-five years old from all the stress I was pumping in my system; forty-five minutes where I frantically, insanely look for Bella on every corner of the street my Volvo passes through.

Still, she's nowhere.

Not even a shadow.

"Bella, come on, show up…" I muttered for the millionth time.

And I think for once I wasn't exaggerating.

Ever since Rosalie called me to inform me the disaster that is her meet-and-greet with the McCarty's, where my girl got humiliated by the McCarty's ass-friends (who are fast becoming the top people on my shit list, otherwise known as the _"List Of People I Was Gonna Blow The Brains Off While They Were Sound Asleep"_ ), guilt and anger and worry were all jarring on my insides making me feel all shades of shitty. Rosalie explained that after Bella left, the McCarty's delivered justice to the Sharks by making them leave and telling them to stay on the hotel rooms instead of at their mansion for the night, thus ending their dinner in peace. Rosalie was then welcomed properly to the McCartys where they showed her all the embarrassing pictures of Emmett and told her all the embarrassing stories they'd kept tabs through the years, finally acting how a family should be in meet-and-greet sotuations. When Emmett's parents asked about Bella, that was when Rosalie tried to contact Bella and her parents, but Bella can no longer be contacted and Renee was alone at home so it was difficult to make sense of what she was saying, as usual (or rather, it was difficult for Renee to grasp what Rosalie was saying).

So this is how I found myself now: fast starting to lose my sanity, and feeling like my bronze-hair all turned grey from worrying...

After a few more minutes of this torture, I finally saw someone – a woman – on the pavement, and I pushed the brakes on the foot of my car so fast I was jolted forward.

The woman covered her face when she was hit by the headlights of my car.

I rolled down my windows to talk to her.

"Bella, is that you? I've been looking for you everywhere…"

And then she removed her hands that were covering her face, and my face froze.

"Oh my gosh, you're a hottie!" The woman exclaimed, making my frozen face _unfroze_ so that I could cringe.

"And you are clearly not Bella."

"I can be who you wanted me to be, baby," the woman purred, and it was scary… literally...

'Cause when I saw her face, I realized that she was a ghost.

"No you can't, because you're dead. You need to cross over."

Have I mentioned I can see ghosts? And that I can communicate with them?

"No I wasn't," she claimed, making her melting-face all ghostly and dark and disgusting. "That is the worst pick-up line ever. And you need not do that; you're so handsome I'll willingly go with you."

"Which is what I don't want," I muttered, sighing. "Listen, you're all white and translucent and you look like you've been decades-old dead and you don't have a shadow and you don't have feet. You are clearly a ghost."

She started laughing at what I said – and it was spooky as hell – but when she realized I was serious, she took inventory of herself based from all the indications I ticked off and started freaking out.

"OH MY GOD, NO, NO, NO! It can't be! I can't be dead!"

"Uhm, you kind of are. And I think you need to realize that to finally go to the all glowing light."

"NOOOOOO!"

But whether she liked it or not, when she finally realized that she was dead, said all glowing light suddenly came for her, and even as she wails, she could not do anything as it started absorbing her.

It took her a few wails, and a final look of contentment at the last minute as she descended, and it was over.

"I can't believe I got flirted on by a dead girl," I muttered to myself, shaking my head as I restarted my engine in search of Bella.

A few more frantic searches, a few more worrying, a few more guilt feelings…

A few more minutes later, and I saw another person. I wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl from afar because he or she was sitting on the pavement with her head bowed on her knees and her arms cupping her head.

I still stopped to make sure.

"Bella…" the words were lost on me as soon as the person looked up.

"Oh, hey there," he said, standing, then _swaying_ to walk near my opened window.

He, as in a guy, so clearly not Bella.

He, as in someone famous.

He, as in Robert Pattynshen famous guy.

It took me a few tries I was so surprised, but after which I was finally successful when I blurted out, "You starred in Twiflight. You're an actor. What are you doing here?"

'Cause that is the definition of cool, Edward.

Real smooth.

He smirked lazily, kind of crooked, and I noticed he smelled strongly of musk and alcohol.

He looked wasted.

"Wow, this is hilarious. My manager sent me a bloody doppel-ganger, it's like I'm looking at myself in the mirror."

"Well, that is if you are in your teens and is clean-shaven and have better abs," I argued, kind of ticked off he thinks he looks like me. He might have all the females in the world lusting over him… as well as the she-males… but I have my Bella, so I win.

"Well, that's true, that's true," he muttered, totally wasted.

"What are you doing here in Forks?" I asked 'cause I know Robert Pattynshen doesn't just suddenly decide to show up in the dark streets of Forks one frantic night.

"I was out in the pub, drinking. I can't drink alcohol on predictable places, else I'll get mugged, so I went here in this town, but I'm not sure, I'm all of a sudden just here on this streets. I was waiting for my manager. He should be arriving here in a few moments."

"Alright, well, I'll have to get moving," I said. "I'm looking for my girl and you are clearly not her."

"Sure, nice talking to you mate."

"You too," I said, and started my engine again to take off, shaking my head the whole time at the ridiculousness of what just happened.

Who'd have thought I'd meet the guy? But I have to thank my lucky stars it was not Ed Sheeran, lest Bella might kill me if she knows I met him ahead of hers… and that is if she won't already kill me about being MIA on our date.

Bella… Just thinking about her brings back all the guilt and insanity I was feeling earlier, mixed with the worry that I might never find her tonight and just continue to randomly bump into people, famous or dead.

What if something happened to her? Something bad, and I was not there?

I would never be able to forgive myself at all if that happened.

What if…?

And that's when I noticed another person, and I pushed the accelerator to reach her as fast as I could.

As soon as I hit the brakes, I was opening my window and shouting her name.

"Bella…!"

She looked at me, and muttered a clear, "Oh fuck."

I froze.

Correction, not a she.

A _he._

Wrong person. Again.

"I'm sorry I was… Mr. Donald Tramp?" I asked in shock, taking a second when I recognized the person, but it was so hard to realize who he was because he was missing his trademark…

He was missing his hair.

You know, like, he was bald….

Like, he has no hair...

Like, a single strand could not be found on his skull.

How the fuck did I think he was Bella?

"I'm not that guy," he denied, but he was clearly the new president.

"Yes, you are. But just bald. I didn't know you were bald." Wasn't he known for the Simpson-like hairstyle?

"It was all that fool's fault!" He suddenly exploded, making me jolt backwards. "That guy who broke in the tight security of the White House. I was setting up my _precious_ things, and then this _hobo_ stole all my wigs so I couldn't fucking hide my head! This is ridiculous, I need to put this as a national security incident."

"Wouldn't that push things too far…"

"I can't function without my hair!"

The guy's a multi-billionaire; makes me wonder why he'd want to use Simpson wigs for his hair instead of better-looking wigs…

Just then, his phone rang.

"Yes, officer," he answered gruffly with his face all furrowed. "What? He escaped…? Yes… Find him, this is really important… Yes, I'll be on my way." He hanged up.

Then, like a boss, he got into his car and without even any parting word towards me, or even looking at me, he zoomed past ahead the dark streets.

I shook my head.

God, just show me my Bella already!

* * *

 **Not-Really-Canceled-Date-but-it's-already-eleven-fifty-five-in-the-goddamn-night-the-Day's-Almost-Over! Day: 11:55 PM**

 **BPOV**

God, just show me the way already!

My night has gone from me wishing to see Edtard, to not wishing to see him at all, to wishing he was dead, and to now, begging all the deties and the higher powers and whoever really controls my fate to just lead me home, with or without my Edtard. I am really not good at directions I know that, and I easily get lost, but this is the worst timing of all!

I'm tired and my feet ache and I have no phone and I just... I just wanted to go home...

And I don't freaking know where I am.

I hated Edtard... Hours ago. Now I just miss him. And I wanted to see him.

Despite everything, I still love him.

If he tells me he doesn't love me at all, I'll just be glad that I get to see him.

Even if he just came by to tell me to get lost, I'll embrace his hash words with a huge smile just so I could see him.

I just... I just really wanted to see him... Smell him... Look at his eyes...

I just...

Just then, a car's headlights made my eyes squint as it stopped before me. And then, a man got off the car, and I tried my best to see who it was...

And then...

"Edtard...?" I whispered.

* * *

 **A/N: Gah! What is this? We're stopping here and there's another cliffy? But... But... It's already part 3! The Date's supposed to be only three parts!**

 **Actually, it was my fault. I'm at seven thousand words already and there was still a lot that had not yet happened. I thought I will be able to fit everything in three parts, but clearly not.**

 **I'm really, really sorry...**

 **But don't worry too much: rest assured tomorrow's gonna be a good chapter. It was the chapter that was the idea behind** _ **"Bella: The Fate-Tamperer"**_ **, so I hope I'll give it justice. It was the plot bunny that made me write this story. (And that did not just put a self-induced pressure on my shoulders... at all. *gulped*)**

 **Also, to make it up to you, please give me less than twenty-four hours to write the next chapter and post it here so that you'll know what will happen right away. (See, that wasn't too long a wait...)**

 **Love you all! Please tell me what you think below.**

 **Next chapter title:** _ **The Next Date**_

Random trivia: I can see ghosts, but not nearly as awesome as when Edward did. The awesomest (- clearly a word) I've seen was when someone in the family was ... you know ... about to go to the all glowing light, and I saw a grim reaper. _She_ was freaking beautiful, and she looked like mixed Asian and European and American... She was in a black cloak, holding a huge, red schythe. She was smiling, but not in a creepy way.

Aside from her, the usual ghosts I see are mostly just transulscent blurbs of white. I can't talk to them.


	11. Chapter 10: The Next Date

**A/N: Please give me creative license. For the purpose of this chapter, let's pretend Lake Crescent is near Forks, like you could walk for only an hour or two to get there.**

* * *

 **Bella: The Fate Tamperer  
** Chapter 10: "The Next Date"

 **The Next Day, at Lake Crescent: 5:00AM**

 **BPOV**

My ass is freezing.

My foot hurts so badly I could cut them both with chain-saw and without any anesthesia and feel nothing... My face is so swollen from crying I literally can feel that it's thicker just by rubbing it with my palms...

But the view ahead of me makes all the pain worthwhile.

I am now staring at Lake Crescent, and I am pretty sure this is the infamous lake near Forks because I remember visiting here when I was a kid with my parents, and I remember never seeing anything more beautiful in my life. Why did I ever stopped going here?

There was still no one in sight 'cause it's freaking five in the morning I'm sure I was the only one awake, so I have the Lake all by myself. That's why even with how cold I feel, or how disgusting my red dress that I wore from Rose's dinner smell, or how badly I needed to take a shower, or how my feet probably would never function again if I take even just one step because they has suffered so much already from all the walking they did, it was all worth it.

All the drama, or the ridiculous things that happened last night, all the pain… they were all gone – refreshed – when I got here.

I took one languid and much-needed breath, closing my eyes to just _feel…_

I remember when at around twelve in the midnight I saw someone who I thought was him, Edtard, which turned out to be a colossal mistake.

I remember that who I saw _does_ look like him, like he could be Edtard years from now when he's in his late twenties. However, he's _not_ him because I was pretty sure that I recognize the person. That while seemingly impossible, it was the actor Robert Pattynshen...

A very drunk Robert Pattynshen at that.

 _I wonder if I will get even luckier and Edtard will be more handsome than him when he's at his late twenties…_

 _Not that he would be with me when that happens, what with how he texted me about not reciprocating my feelings, so clearly he no longer wants me…._

I sighed, trying to dislodge the hurt away, and trying to block the pessimism where my brain was dangerously heading to.

Just then, a sound of footsteps alerted me that someone was coming my way. I looked towards the direction of the noise and saw Edtard wearing a ratty-old parka, using his phone as flashlight to navigate in the still slightly dark morning.

I sighed again, and turned my head away from him. I was sure I was just imagining things. This is not the first time that I did so.

"Bella?" My imaginary Edtard asked when he was only a few steps away from me. I looked at him, shaking my head at how pathetic the result of my desperation was conjuring. Doesn't my brain know anyone else other than him? Seriously, it's like he's the only man in the world.

But what was that they say about people in love? That you could not be rational when it comes to the person you love…?

"Go away," I muttered, tired.

 _Go away imaginary Edtard; I could not have my hopes up thinking it is really you right now and then getting them crushed later when I realize that you're not real._

"Oh my god, Bella, we've been frantically looking for you!" Imaginary Edtard exclaimed while he took faster and longer strides to get to me. Once he reached me, he cupped my face tightly and I was forced to look at his eyes. In the dark, they looked greyish instead of green.

However, the intensity was unmistakable. My heart stopped.

I could have not simply conjured the conflict of worry and relief and care in his eyes. And there was also something else – an emotion I could not point out – which was overshadowing his other emotions.

I don't think my brain could be making this up… This is far too complex for my imagination.

So, the only logical conclusion is that he must be _real_.

"E-Edtard?" I asked carefully, afraid that I will be wrong again; afraid that he really is just my imagination and then he'll disappear when I call out his name.

However, just by hearing me say the _special_ name I call him, surprisingly unshed tears laced his eyes.

Then he smiled my favorite crooked smile.

And I felt something warm blossoming inside my chest.

"Jesus, Bella, you're freezing," he commented – mixture of relief and worry could be traced in his voice – as he started rubbing my arms to create friction to bring me warmth. After doing that, he removed his parka so that he could drape it around me. He even fixed its buttons.

"I was so worried about you – we all are. Charlie started a search when he got wind that that you went missing, and Rose had not slept a wink since you've left."

And then, without warning, he hugged me so tightly I thought I'll be crushed, and to my utter surprise, he started sobbing.

Like, brokenly sobbing.

"I'm so so sorry I hurt you. I made you wait, then I broke my promise of calling you, and then my mother sent a text message to hurt you… I'm so so sorry. I'm the one to blame for all of this. I'm sorry Bella."

Mixed with the heady feeling of him cradling my head to his shoulders, he smelled like perspiration and washed-out cologne and _home_ that all my emotions from the other night suddenly came crashing back to me. I found myself sagging while being embraced by him… feeling all warm…

And then I just started crying.

At first my crying was only soft, like I was depleted, but then it got hysterical which stopped his crying so that he could comfort me instead.

And then the blabbering followed.

"I was s-so scared Edtard! I-I met crazy Mr. Fate, and Jerkamin said all bad stuff to me, and Rose popped her pimple, I fingered it, and she did me on the table but not really, and I-I almost died! And that text message… I was crushed… I was broken… I felt like I was gonna die Edtard!"

"Shh," he comforted me, hugging me even impossibly tighter but I didn't care one bit how tight it was, or even if he break my spine at that moment, and kissing my forehead. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that by yourself. I'm so sorry I was not here when you needed me. But I'm here now. You don't have to be scared anymore. I'm. Here. Now."

"Wh-why did you send me that horrible text message Edtard?"

"I didn't. It was my mother Elizabeth who did that…" He looked at me in the eyes again, and with both his hands, tried to keep the wayward strands of hair from my face. "But don't worry; it's already taken care of. She feels sorry she did that to you… But I'm mostly sorry too.

"I'm so sorry she got to you like that. I should have done everything in my power for her not to hurt you. It was my entire fault."

I shook my head because it was not his fault at all. "So it was not true? What you said in the text?"

"No. Listen to me Bella – none of that text message was real."

He then started wiping the tears off my face so carefully like I was porcelain doll that he was scared he could break.

"So you don't not love me?"

He shook his head. "No. I love you Bella."

"I love you too," I muttered because it was the most normal thing to respond to him, burying my head again on his chest.

And then I realized… _Wait, he told me that he…_

I whipped my head up to look at his face so fast I heard my bones popped.

"What did you just say? Did you just tell me that you love me for the first time?"

If his eyes could have melted me then with how smoldering they were as they gazed at me, I would be a puddle of goo at his feet.

"Why don't we take a seat first?"

He guided me to a rock a few feet from us where we both sat there. He draped his arm around my waist, pulling me even closer towards him and making me feel all sorts of warm, and held my hand on his other hand.

He started playing with my fingers when he spoke next.

"You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning, used to having a fresh cup of coffee to liven up your day?"

"I drink milk, but yeah, kind of," I answered.

"Imagine yourself really lacking sleep and you were drowsy when you woke up the next morning. You walked towards the dining room to fetch yourself a cup of coffee because that is your routine. You know how things are always supposed to be. They are programmed in your brain.

"But all of a sudden, the coffee jar is empty, and you're worried because you can't function without your coffee – are used to sipping it every morning.

"So you went to the nearest convenience store to buy yourself a coffee – your brand of coffee, and not any other type of coffee, but then they were out of stock.

"You went to the next store, and the next, and the next, and you didn't even care that you might be running late to school or that you've not even had your breakfast yet… You just want your goddamn coffee.

"But everywhere you go there is no coffee with your brand in sight.

"And that's when you started to realize the times you've been with that coffee; how you had it in the morning; how it makes you feel alive and not just existing; how it made you do things you've never done before…

"How it soothes you, like a balm to your weakened soul, enough to embolden you to face your day...

"How it feels when it touches your lips…

"The small things you took for granted because the coffee is always there anyway. You are used to it being there, and you never thought you'll ran out of it.

"But now you're coffee is gone.

"You could go through your day and risk falling asleep at class and getting cranky and _craving_ for her but she's gone.

"All because you didn't notice your jar was slowly emptying."

When he was finished, he looked at me like I was supposed to say something… and believe me; I tried to be in on his mood, but…

"So… I am your brand of coffee?"

"Bella, you are exactly my brand of coffee."

"And I got out of stock?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"That was me saying it felt like I took you for granted because I got used to you being there, so when you went missing, and I kept looking for you everywhere but couldn't find you, I realized that there is no other coffee for me but you."

Oh. "Okay…"

"Look," he cut me, looking slightly frustrated. "The point is that you keep me awake. I was asleep, for what seemed like all my life, and I was-sleep walking but I didn't realize it. And then you crashed into me, telling me you love me in that blasted canteen without a care about what all the other people there would think of you, and you woke me up with a huge jolt. And next thing I knew I was eating your cupcakes and laughing at what comes out of your mouth and _defending_ you from pigs like Riley Biers and not caring about telling your father that I was involved in an almost violence to defend your honor.

"And then I was feeling depressed because you were angry at me and I was kissing you and fetching you for school and showing you off to the other pigs…

"And then I was arguing with my mother over you. I have never argued with her before – it was you. You make me do things I normally wouldn't. It's like I'm too sensitive when you're involved. It's like you became the center of my universe.

"And now I see you: all sweaty, and sleepy, with big eye-bags, and messy hair and _crazy_ … And you're the most beautiful girl that I've ever seen. It's like other people have no faces; like you are the only girl that I could see.

"And you brighten up my day. You make me feel alive. You make me feel _human_. You make me feel like I'm the most perfect person in the world, but that if I made a mistake, you will be the first person to tell me that it's alright; that no matter what happens, you got my back.

"And I love you."

My heart stuttered.

"I love you more than I love pancakes or my music or my piano or my classical books or my grades or my room or my car or my life.

"I think I love you more than anyone else, and I was too arrogant to realize it when I first saw you that I tried to deny it time and again.

"Bella Swan, crazy, beautiful Bella Swan, I love you more than my coffee."

I had tears in my eyes when he was finished. It was difficult to follow his train of thought, and I realized that with all my quirks and randomness that that was probably how he feels all the time when he was trying to make sense of what I say.

But it's not his words that clued me to their meaning.

It was how they said them. Through the language of love.

Edtard Cunnen, perfect, wonderful, but _human_ Edtard Cunnen, _loves me._

He _loves_ me.

"Edtard, I love you more than my coffee too…" I whispered.

With my words, a smile that I could not describe even if I try was painted in his face.

"And more than my omelet, and more than my salsa dance, and the dares I've accomplished since childhood, and Rosalie's reaction when I popped her pimple, and Tanya's look when she saw me with you and Banner's reaction when I will finally get to murder him…

"I love you, Edtard Cunnen. I have been in love with you ever since you walked in that canteen and my eyes first landed on you.

"I love you more than Ed Sheeran.

"I love you more than my milk."

And then we kissed:

The kiss was messy and languid and sweet.

It made me feel alive and it quenched the sadness and hurt that formed in my chest and it was wonderful.

He kissed me like he misses me.

He kissed me like he loves me.

And I kissed him back – like all of those too… and I might have groped his abs as well. _Sorry, can't help it. Just a girl in love…_

It was a serene moment, and when we broke apart, we stared at each other for so long that we didn't notice the darkness was already being chased away by the sun. Or maybe we did, but we didn't care.

Because at that moment, we are two people who chose each other...

We are two people who created our own fate.

After a while, like we were in sync, we both turned at the beautiful lake, gazing at the horizon, as the dark sky tinged with orange, then turned lighter, then bluish.

Him embracing me, and with our hands intertwined, we watched the break of dawn.

* * *

The sun has finally ascended high up in the sky when Edtard broke our silence; his arms were still draped around me; my head was resting on his shoulders.

I could totally get used to this.

"You know, I saw a ghost on my way here," he said as he mindlessly rubbed my arm through the arm that was draped around me.

"Oh yeah, what did she look like?"

"She was ghostly and creepy and disgusting."

"Oh," I muttered, as I played with his abs, counting them in my head.

"She was flirting with me, but I turned down her advances."

"Remind me to ask Renee how to cast voodoo to dead, slutty people."

"No need to do that, she already ascended to heaven."

"Good for her," I answered, thinking how lucky she was that she's no longer here, else that ghost will get a first-hand account of the taste of hell from my own hands.

"Then I saw Robert Pattynshen," Edtard continued his recollection.

"I saw him too. He was totally…"

"Wasted," he cut me, knowing what I was about to say.

We both giggled.

"He kinda looks like you," I commented.

"Nah, I look better than him," he said, arrogant. _My beautiful arrogant bastard._ "I also saw Tramp," he continued.

"He's here?"

"Yeah, surprising as it was. And he is _bald_. Tells me someone stole his precious wigs. I didn't even know he wears wigs."

"That was Mr. Fate's fault," I said, remembering the hobo who said he was in charge of my fate.

"Mister who?" Edtard asked, looking at me questioningly.

"He washhh," I muttered, but then I yawned, so what I was saying got interrupted... "He was the one who stole Tramp's wigs. Says he is in charge of my fate. He must also be the reason why you bumped into some weird personalities tonight – he says you were not supposed to be with me, so he must be having a blast preventing you from seeing me by throwing those random people on the road, taking advantage of my weak stature not to tramp with his plans, so that you will not find me.

"He also stole my phone."

Edtard started fixing phantom hair strands from my face… or maybe was just caressing my cheeks.

"Bella he must be a crazy man."

"Yeah, he is. Because no fate or hobo could ever prevent me from seeing you."

And then, another yawn escaped me, and I ran my hand on Edtard's broad, hard shoulders while I yawned.

"You're tired. You need to sleep," says Edtard, like that wasn't obvious.

"Yeah… Take me home," I agreed. He nodded, and we started to stand to leave the place.

"I also need to call Charlie to tell him I already found you. He must probably still be searching for you right now, and probably on edge with worry."

"Yeah, you do that. And you never did tell me what happened with your mother," I reminded him. He kissed my forehead, and then he ran his hand on the scalp of my head as we walk. He was carrying half of my weight because I could not walk straight, I was _that_ tired.

"There's a next time for that. I'll explain to you what happened. But for now, let's get you home and to your bed."

I could not argue with that - another yawn escaping me - so I simply nodded as we made our way to his car.

I made my silent goodbye to the lake, and squeezed Edtard's beautiful ass.

* * *

I was groggy when I woke up inside Edtard's car to him caressing my head. He was so beautiful as he leaned his head – which was supported by his hand – on his window. Add to it the fact that he was staring at me lovingly...

 _Was this person trying to kill me with all his beautifulness? (that should totes should be a word) Gah._

When I got over how hot he is, my body made me aware how much debt I still owe Mr. Sleep, and I yawned, stretching my hands in the process. I then sat straighter to take a look at my surroundings... And realized something.

We are not at my house.

"Edtard, why are we here?" I asked, slightly alarmed, because I was pretty sure I would recognize what the Swan residence would look like what with me spending seventeen years living there. But instead of the pink gate and black walls (courtesy of Renee) that I was used to, we were right outside freaking Bella Italia.

"Let's have breakfast," mysteriously suggested by Edtard, and I looked at him like he was crazy. I know for a fact that Bella Italia does _not_ serve breakfast meals.

"Inside Bella Italia? At this hour? In the _morning_?"

"Humor me," he said, again accentuated with a mysterious smile perched on his sinful face. And without waiting for my answer, he then left the car and walked around it so that he could open my side of the door.

"How can you be sure that they will open the restaurant for you at this hour?" I asked once he reached me. "And just so you could have your breakfast?"

"Trust me?"

He held out his hand, and traitorously smiled the smile that I could not say 'no' to.

No fair…

"Fine," I huffed, pretending to be all difficult, well in fact I was so easy he could nail me at that moment right outside the restaurant just with the look on his face and I would not complain, "Let's have this dang breakfast inside Bella Italia."

A triumphant crooked smile was his answer.

When we reached the restaurant's door after he escorted me, I gave him a challenging look because the door's signage clearly says "closed", so it was obvious that we could not go inside.

At this, he muttered something like, "Couldn't trust me with her tits…" (or maybe he said "any bits" and I was just a perv).

But then, to my utter surprise, he was nonchalant when he pushed the door, and it did open without any difficulty.

At this small triumph, he raised his eyebrow in arrogance, and I debated killing him... Or just nailing him, hopefully those two in reverse order.

"Please go in." He gestured for me to go in ahead of him, even bowing like he was some sort of server.

"Fine," I said again like it was the only word I learned from the English language. I blamed all the current incompetency I was experiencing to the time – I was not yet equipped with the proper vocabularies at this early in the morning.

When I got inside the restaurant, the lights were already turned on...

And then, what I saw made me stop in my tracks.

At my pause, Edtard finally took a step beside me to explain what this was about.

"I was planning to be all romantic for our date, but a lot of stuff happened, so I was not able to show this to you. I just feel like you ought to know how much you have come to mean to me, and even with the _very long_ delay, I did have something planned for our first date."

My eyes scanned my surroundings. I absorbed all the details Edtard prepared for me beforehand and felt touched by the sentiment behind it that I started tearing up.

Well, that was until my eyes landed to the sleeping form of my best friend, Alice, and her boyfriend, Jasper, who were at the table on the entrance of the restaurant.

"Alice and Jasper are here."

"They were in on the plan," Edtard explained, "And I really owe them a lot. While I was looking for you yesterday night, I asked them to do everything in their power for this restaurant not to close without us arriving. Must be the persuasive work of Alice." He smiled amusedly at my snoring friend.

"She told me she and Jasper will have a dinner with Jasper's family yesterday," I relayed, remembering her excuse why she could not help Rosalie. "I guess that was a lie."

"You have really loyal friends Bella," Edtard commented, and I could not agree more.

I then focused my attention to what Edtard had prepared for me, and as I look at them, I felt all gooey and mushy and warm inside my chest again.

They were the best, romantic thing I've ever seen.

There were standees of Ed Sheeran – I counted six in total – in various positions, each holding envelope-sized pictures. There were words written on the shirts corresponding to the pictures. There were also roses in each of his mouths.

At the end of the room, in the center part, was a circle of flowers, where I supposed should be my last destination after I am done looking through all the pictures and messages on the standees. Said standees were arranged so that I would have to travel to look at each of them, starting from the entrance of the restaurant, making a stop to each until I reach the circle of flowers. The petals on the floor will serve as my guide.

"This is…" I trailed off, in awe. I feel like such a princess because of what he did; like I was a precious girl.

"Too much?" An uncharacteristically apprehensive Edtard suggested nervously…

So I kissed his worry away.

"Perfect," I breathed. My hands had somehow snaked their way around his neck.

He finally smiled, at ease.

"Well, if that's the case then Ed Sheeran is waiting for you," he then said, gesturing at the standees.

I giggled.

"I don't want to keep him waiting."

So I went to the first Ed Sheeran standee:

For this standee, the picture he was holding was of me at the top of the canteen table I remembered as the day I declared my love for my Edtard. And in the picture, I looked rightly insane, smiling hugely, and looked like I was about to topple over.

"I asked that copy from the school photographer, Angela… or more like bribed her." Edtard explained beside me.

I chuckled.

"Please read the message, then take the rose – they're yours," he then asked me. Following his instructions, I took the rose and read his message:

 _This is the first time you told me that you love me._

 _And shockingly, the first time our paths crossed._

 _I was scared out of my mind by what you did, because you shouted those words in front of the school body and I didn't even know who you are._

 _I was scared of you, of what you're capable of._

 _And Bella, you still scare me up to this day… but I think, you scare me more now because you have a stronger hold over me._

"Are you still scared of me?" I asked.

"Very," he answered with a peck on my cheek. "You could break me."

"You could too."

"Then let's be scared together."

These went on for the other five standees.

The second standee was a picture of him at his locker, smiling crookedly at the cupcakes he was holding, and I remembered those cupcakes from the day I baked him a batch with his crooked smile as design.

"From ninja mom Esme," he said as way of explanation of how the picture got taken.

The message for this picture says:

 _This is the first time I noticed I was not just tolerating your advances, I was even amused by them._

 _You took the time to make these cupcakes, but you got angry when I told you I was eating a cake that Tanya baked._

 _I didn't eat Tanya's cake; Esme baked it for me, and I was ashamed to say so less I'll sound a wimp so I lied._

 _I'm sorry for that._

 _But still, honey, I'm telling you, don't ever try these cupcakes again – baking is not one of your many talents._

I laughed when I read the last part.

Smiling crookedly, Edtard whispered to me, "But starting today, whatever you cook for me, even if they would taste horrible and like vomit, I promise I will eat them."

"I'll try to be a better cook."

For the third one, Ed Sheeran was holding a picture of wilted sunflowers, which were in Edtard's arms. He was looking incredulously at someone outside the frame.

 _This is the first time someone told me you were growing on me, and I was adamant to deny it._

 _You took your time giving me these supposed flowers, but they look more like grass to me so I started calling them flower-grass, and you dumped them in the garbage can when Tanya came and I retrieved them secretly but someone saw me._

 _I still have one of the dried flowers at my desk._

"I'll save whatever gift you plan to give me," Edtard vowed after I have finished reading his third message. "I'll make sure they are treasured."

The fourth picture was a printed letter of the poem I made for Edtard, where I declared to him that I will bear his future babies.

That was a Wednesday, if I was not mistaken.

I used the school's radio station to convey my poem.

 _This is the first time someone made a poem for me. And I was embarrassed and was put on the spot and I couldn't stop laughing afterwards._

 _Remember when I told you I have photographic memory?_

 _I will forever remember the lines of the poem._

 _I think you were right about some of what you said._

"I think you're gonna be the mother of my future babies," Edtard muttered beside me, and I felt like he was solidifying his commitment to our relationship, to _us_ , thus making the dam break. Tears flooded my vision… they were happy, happy tears.

"I think you're gonna be the father of my future babies," I answered back, and he kissed my nose.

Fifth picture was a screenshot of my music video to Edtard when I declared my love to him on his baseball game.

I remember that very well, and started laughing when I recalled how Charlie tried to prevent me from my speech about love and war at the center of the field. I got three-day suspension for that stunt.

As if that could deter me…

 _This is the first time Forks Baseball Team won after fifty years of unbroken defeat._

 _But aside from that, a lot of first times happened here as well:_

 _There was the first time I ever got violent in my life while trying to defend your honor…_

 _There was the first time Tanya kissed me, though it was just a smack and was because she tripped, without my consent, and I was scared of how'd that affect you, afraid it'll hurt, even at that time you're not yet mine…_

 _Then there was the first time I ever got the feeling that what I might be feeling for you was something "more"…_

 _And that gut feel proved to be correct._

When I got to the sixth and the last picture, I was surprised to find that it was of the first time Edtard kissed me on his room. I mean, how could someone have captured that? We were supposed to have been alone that time!

As if he read my mind, Edtard explained how the picture was captured by saying, "Never underestimate the ninja skills of Esme Cullen."

Indeed, never underestimate her.

 _This is the first time I kissed you._

 _This is the first time you tried to ignore me, and I felt like there was a pang in my chest when you did that._

 _The first time I realized I was developing feelings for you._

 _I was sick, and you took care of me the entire night, and I tried to kiss you while I was sick but I wasn't able to do so and you got mad._

 _This is the first time I felt your lips on mine the next day when I let my heart rule my head._

 _And baby, they – your lips – were divine._

"Yours were divine as well," I told him, wiping the tears from my eyes.

At with that final memory captured in picture, Edtard took my hands and pulled me towards the center of the room, the one with the circle of flowers. Once there, he cupped my face and wiped away my tears.

Then he said…

"Bella, I may have broken promises left and right for our date, but I realized what my mistake was in making them: they are impossible promises, ones that I could not fulfill when circumstances outside my control could prevent me from fulfilling them.

"So now, instead of making impossible promises, I choose to make concrete vows instead. These, no matter what happens, these I'm sure I will keep:

"Bella Swan, I promise to be there for you, to the best of my abilities, when you call for me. I could not promise how fast I'll be there, because I am no superman, but I'll make sure that however way possible, I'll go to you. Even if I come late, I _will_ come to you.

"I promise to eat whatever you cook for me," he smiled at this, and I could not help but laugh, "I promise to laugh at all your jokes, I promise to always be proud of you, I promise to put you first over my needs all the time, I promise to be a gentleman to you all the time, I promise that when we have fights, we'll try to fix them before the day ends, and if we couldn't, _I'll_ try to fix them for us.

"Lastly," he cradled my face, "I promise to cherish and love you as you should be cherished and loved.

"You've always had qualms whether you are my girlfriend or not, and I've always loved teasing you about it, but that confusion ends here. Once and for all, let me put an end to that confusion by asking you this question:"

Then he got on one knee and asked him if I'll marry him and we had babies and we lived happily ever after…

No, not really.

This is what he really asked, still standing in front of me and not at all kneeling or showing me a ring.

"Isabella Marie Swan, would you do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?"

It took me a few tries with how touched and happy and all the warm feelings in the world I was feeling, but after clearing my throat and trying to get ahold of my happiness, I finally answered him clearly:

"Yes, Edtard Cunnen. Please be my boyfriend."

My Edtard beamed at that, then he leaned forward to embrace me – the kind where he cradled my head towards the crook of his shoulder and we swayed from side to side.

I felt cherished and loved.

I felt like I could conquer the world.

We stood like that for a couple of seconds until an icebreaker – my yawn which do not have proper timing when she showed up – made Edtard laugh.

"You're too tired, my love. Let's get you home," he said, and I _seriously_ loved what he called me as.

"I can't believe Alice and Jasper slept through the whole thing," I then commented when my eyes landed to them again, shaking my head at my snoring best friend and her boyfriend. "If I'm not too tired I would have drawn caricatures on their faces."

Edtard laughed, "Not today, love."

* * *

When we got home, of course after Edtard promised that he will make sure the Ed Sheeran standees get delivered at my home, we were apparently being waited on by a crazed looking Renee and a haggard Charlie.

Edtard then gave a brief explanation of what happened, yadda di yadda da, and told them I was too tired so he needs to get me to my bed right away, which he was spot on because I was so tired I feel like I was just seconds away from passing out.

The last thing I could remember before falling with my butt in the air on my bed was me asking Edtard to stay…

So it was with a jolt when I woke up that night.

At first, I was so surprised that the first thing that my shocked mind was able to recognize was that my lampshade was turned on and that it seemed to be already nighttime instead of day.

The next thing was that I was still on my clothes that I wore for Rose's dinner.

And the last thing was that Edtard was lying beside me, and I was using his arm as my pillow, and he was playing with my hair.

Jerking in shock, I snapped my head up to him, and I was greeted by his crooked smile.

 _I could totally get used to this._

"I could really get used to this," he then said, unknowingly stealing my words.

"I'd like to get used by you, like this, in bed," suddenly came out, and I clamped my mouth with my hand.

 _Shit, verbal filter totally off._

"Shit, verbal filter totally off," I blurted out, thus confirming my theory about the lack of verbal filter.

But Edtard only laughed, far from the usual cringing he does before when I say stuff like that. He then kissed my nose, and I smelled his minty breath.

"You brushed your teeth," I commented. "And apparently took a shower while I was asleep," I added, feeling the wet strands of his hair through my fingers.

"Yeah, I woke up earlier than you do, and you were sound asleep that you didn't rouse when I used your shower."

Hmm. Him. And shower.

Edtard.

Shower.

 _Naked._

Oh shit.

"Did you change clothes here in my room or in my shower?" I asked, hoping that the overflowing perviness (totally a word) was not leaking too much from my mouth.

"And why do you ask…?" He looked at me with a mischievous glint on his eyes.

Oh, he is in a playful mood, I see.

"Nothing. Just for educational purposes," I answered nonchalantly, even shrugging my shoulders for emphasis. "Like wanting to know how often men change clothes in the shower."

"Uhum, totally educational, and nothing at all to do with my nakedness."

 _Damn_ , he said the words!

Retract… Retract…

"But seriously, where did you change clothes?"

His mischievous smug smile grew, and I knew I was in for a lot of trouble.

"You were sound asleep, remember?" Oh shit. "You didn't even wake up… even when I change clothes…" Oh shit. "When I took off my shirt…" Oh shit. "On your shower."

 _Oh_ (depressed). Shit.

The disappointment tasted too strong I was sure I was blanching and it was obvious.

"Why, what were you expecting?" He was still playful.

One day I'll show him what _playful_ really means…

"Nothing," I shrugged again, pretending to stay cool. "So, what happened while I was asleep? And what time is it anyway?" I glanced at my digital clock, but could not make out the numbers because my eyes were still blurry from sleep.

"It's eight in the evening, you slept through the whole day. And nothing important really happened. I just explained to Charlie how I found you, and because you asked me to stay, I called Esme to ask her to bring some of my clothes and my toothbrush here at your place, and we just slept."

"And Charlie and Renee simply allowed that?"

Parents of the year.

"Charlie looked like he'd more than enjoy shooting me in the head, but Renee convinced him you are already comatose so nothing inappropriate could happen between us."

Ah. Thank God for Renee.

Though how inappropriate he means depends on how much I deem a behavior as inappropriate…

"Wait, when you said you explained things to Charlie, how _did_ you find me anyway when I was in Lake Crescent? That felt too random," I asked, now that I finally had the rest that I needed, all that had happened to me were coming back, and I was able to scrutinize further details.

"I really couldn't explain it." A contemplative look crossed his face. "I just felt a pull towards that place, like I could _feel_ you there… and I went there, and I was right – you were there. Must be fate working in our favor."

Huh, seems like Mr. Fate wasn't too useless after all.

"And your mother? Elizabeth? How is she?"

Edtard smiled, which soothed my worries because that means that finally, all is well with him and his female-dog… him and his mother.

"She's fine. A lot of things happened with her yesterday, but bottom-line is that Esme was able to convince her to seek help. It seems like she has abandonment issues. And for the meantime, Jacob and Seth will stay with us."

At the mention of his brothers, Edtard's joy could not be hidden from his expression. It was obvious he cared so much about his half-siblings, making my heart melt.

Gah. Is it possible to want this guy even more than I already do?

"That's great. You seemed to have everything fixed now… or at least about to be fixed, after she's been through with therapy."

"Yeah. Elizabeth… she had me when she was a teenager, and because her family were very religious, they disowned her when they found out she was pregnant. She had deeply rooted issues that she needed to work on right now and I was glad she's finally going to do something about them.

"Which reminds me," he turned his head towards me and started caressing my cheek. "I'm sorry again for what she did to you."

I shook my head, already putting what happened behind me.

"You don't need to be sorry, it's not your fault. And besides, she's your mother. I could not _not_ forgive her Edtard."

"Thank you."

He kissed me on the forehead, and I melted. Again.

Who'd have thought _my boyfriend_ is this touchy-feely and sweet?

I giggled at my inner musings, and at finally having the right to call him _my boyfriend,_ and Edtard looked at me like he had an idea what I was giddy about.

"Oh, Bella, I just remembered, I prepared your bath for you. When you wake up, I reckon you would want to soak in hot water to soothe your tired muscles after all the stress you have undergone yesterday. I think the water's no longer hot – do you want me to reheat it now, or would you rather take your bath later instead?"

Oh my gosh, on top of being sweet, my boyfriend is thoughtful _and_ caring as well.

Again, I could _really_ get used to this.

I was dumbstruck for a few moments before I was able to find my voice.

"Later, I guess. I want to eat something first." And as if on cue, my stomach growled in protest.

"Alright, let me just reheat your food…" He then stood from my bed – but not without pecking me in the lips first – and I sat up as well.

Gah. My boyfriend is freaking amazing, I just want to marry him and have his babies right there and then…

And that's what made me remember what I wanted to tell him all along. Something that I've been hinting at him all this time, but was just unable to really stress how serious I was about it. So before he could leave me in my room, I moved fast to block his way on my door.

At this, a confused Edtard turned his attention to me.

I gulped, nervous about how he'd react.

 _This is it, Bella. You can do it! For the future of your future kids!_

"Edtard, there's something I wanted to ask you… More like request something from you… with you…"

"What is it Bella?" he answered looking all handsome and patient and caring and really, _very_ clueless.

"I'm afraid you'll bolt."

"Bella, you can ask me anything. What is it?"

I gulped again, and had difficulty speaking.

Edtard placed both his hands on my shoulders to calm me down.

"Bella, please tell me what is it. If it is within my power to do so, I will do it, don't worry."

But I am worrying. I am _really_ freaking out.

"Bella…"

"But you'll… and I'll…"

"Calm down, I won't bolt. Tell me."

He looked really concerned and patient and caring and still very clueless.

I took a huge breath, trying to be brave.

 _This is it._

"Edtard… would you… That is, I think you would be… would you…"

 _Dang!_

"Bella, take another deep breath and tell me – you're starting to worry me."

I heed his advice, taking another deep breath, and just as is my style, I just blurted it out:

"Edtard I want you and me on sex and taking my virginity."

Uh oh, that didn't seem to go so well.

* * *

 **A/N: Crazy ride. Crazy, crazy ride. I hope I gave justice to the idea that formed Bella: The Fate-Tamperer. Tell me what you think below!**

 **Next Chapter: How would Edtard take Bella's request and what plans would Bella concoct in her crazy mind so she'll get her way?**


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